Noticing - Maybe too much?

This will sound strange but after a certain point I've noticed that while I want my near and dear noticing, being proud, complimenting me and so on -the other day, my kid brother whom has spent his life calling me "fatty" to piss me off asked me to twirl and said "wow, sis, I've NEVER seen you this skinny, good job dude!"- I loathe it when people remark on it in friends' groups or social networking situations -e.g. on FB or such-

This probably steams from the same inability of realistically agreeing I was flumongous and the illusion that maybe some people hadn't noticed me, the elephant in the middle of their room but as I said, I find it uncomfortable for anyone to mention how big of a difference it makes or how much weight I lost in front of people I don't want in the loop.

In fact, even my Mr. doesn't know exact starting weight and I won't tell him what it was till I reach goal. And while some of my best friends have seen progress pictures or know I am approaching 100 lbs lost, I get really unpleasantly surprised when they talk about how proud of me they are or how I lost oodles of weight.

I'm not disputing how crazy this is, just wondering if anyone else feels this way

You're not alone. In fact these feelings are so rampant, and I believe one of the biggest reasons for many of us who have been known to sabbotage our own efforts. We are not comfortable with all the new attention - and are actually subconciously 'resentful' of the comments in a so-i-wasnt-good-enough-before kind of way. This often leads to i'll-show-you-i-am-still-the-same-person feelings and that leads to taking steps to go back to what you and others have always known and been comfortable with.
Does it make sense? It's feelings very close to what you've expressed here that lead to an actual 'fear' of being thin for many of us bigger people - and the reason why most of us (i dont mean on here!!!) will never go all the way trying to lose weight.

Yep - I totally feel like that. Recently a few people have said to me "You look really well, like REALLY well" Someone today who said it as well asked if I was ok. So I now think they are embarassed to say oh my god you have lost weight? so that makes me embarassed about how I was before. And also, how bad did I look before for them to say I look REALLY well, with that much emphasis!!!

I have deliberately kept the group of people who know what I doing very small, close family a couple of friends and 3 people at work and have asked them not to talk about it to other people I know. This stops comments on FB etc!

And when I get to the end, I might tell people exactly how much I lost but then again I might not. Whilst I am coming to terms with the size I started (just about - and loving the elephant in the room comment) I am not prepared to share that about just yet - well apart from with Minimins and my CDC!!

And MissAma well done on your great weight loss, it will be hard for people not to congratulate you!!

When people used to say to me "oh you look really well" I so knew they meant fat (i.e been eating well! ).

Now i shy away from any compliments.

My hubby says (in a supportive way, honest) "my darling with the ever shrinking bum".

I still cringe but i know he is trying to keep me motivated.

There is another side to this though guys, if people did not notice we would wonder why we are spending all this money and making all this effort if people cannot see we are changing.
There's no middle ground really.

Very intelligent, astute and observing messages ladies! I've been thinking about them. There's certainly truth to the whole mind/body attitude towards present shape disconnect while we do this.

I wrote another post in the other section about this
http://www.minimins.com/bring-your-...-you-beautiful-smaller-girls.html#post1689274

Asa..
You have done so well hon you should be so proud...

I totally know where you are coming from.. Although its lovely to get all the compliments, sometimes you also think leave me alone, I just want to get on with it..
I have people say you look fab you must be at goal now surely you dont want to lose anymore.. I just say nearly there.

I also had a guy say to me the other day you look fab you have done so well la la la, so how much do you weigh now. So I said I dont wish to tell I dont tell anyone until I get to where I want to be otherwise I still feel like I havent achieved what I want to.. Then he came back and said Ok if you wont tell me how much you weigh what size clothes are you in........... I felt like saying leave me alone!! URGHHH he was only being nice and he could do with shedding a few pounds but still.........

SO hon your not alone .. its fab and we feel good to get the compliments but it also can invade your space sometimes.. x

I am afraid completely loving it
I went out for husbands big graduation (the whole reason I started cd!) and got so many lovely comments I beamed all night!

I still can't see the new person in the mirror though, so I do know where you are coming from

:sigh:

I have people say you look fab you must be at goal now surely you dont want to lose anymore.. I just say nearly there. - Curlywurly - its exactly what everyone says to me!

my sis at a BBQ at the weekend said 'its the smallest i have seen you in years' like that ok then, obviously dont need to lose anymore!

and i am struggling too with seeing 'now me' in the mirror, i still see the size 20/22 lump, even though my size 18's are now too big, and the 16's fit perfectly, and i actually wore a size 12 top the other night!

Jo, my CDC, (and i am certain that someone on here said it too) said that it takes upto 10 months for your brain to catch up with your body - this also helps to explain why when we put weight back on, we dont notice until its gone past the just eat sensible for a few weeks to get it off again, to need to go on a full blown 'diet'!

well done everyone, and goodluck with reaching your goals xx

i don't mind it when people i like say stuff, but when people at work who i dont really like are all ''omg you have lost so much weight blah blah'' im like, cheers. makes me feel awkward. i don't think i was that terrible beforehand! people at the pub i work at on weekends who have never bothered to talk to me are now literally drunken leches too, wish that would stop.

but when someone near and dear says something, it always means a lot.

MissAma,
You have done so well to lose 100lb, that really is fabulous!
I understand what you mean about people noticing, I am quite a private person, and also dislike the attention from others, with the exception of my immeadiate family.
I feel like it's my business, and when people notice the results, they will inevitably ask how you did it, then you have to say CD and the negative comments start!

i agree chicken pie. i also hate it when people ask how much you weigh now! and then ask how much you have lost. like duuurrr im not going to tell you that! rude.

lemma1968 said:

When people used to say to me "oh you look really well" I so knew they meant fat (i.e been eating well! ).

Now i shy away from any compliments.

My hubby says (in a supportive way, honest) "my darling with the ever shrinking bum".

I still cringe but i know he is trying to keep me motivated.

There is another side to this though guys, if people did not notice we would wonder why we are spending all this money and making all this effort if people cannot see we are changing.
There's no middle ground really.

Click to expand...

I personally love all the compliments. When people say you look soooooo different and well, that makes me feel good. I am glad that I look different. I know I was big before - no good pretending otherwise and now I have lost over two stone I don't mind telling people what I weighed and what size clothes I was in. Soak up all the wonderful comments that come your way. xx

I totally agree with the posts on here! Although I am pleased people can see I have lost weight, it feels like a bit of a backhanded compliment in a way - so you thought I was really fat before then??
Also, I have had people saying, you aren't going to lose any more no are you? When can you stop this? etc. I just say 'when I make the decision that I am ready'.

Ellie xx

I quite like it when people compliment me. Gives me motivation to keep going when thing get tough!

Well done miss Ama!

I've just reached the two stone loss mark and it's only now people are beginning to notice. Family and friends are very different but work is another matter.

One chap emailed me yesterday as he wanted to say how great I looked but without embarassing me.

A lady in our office said yesterday "are you eating yet" and made it sound really nasty... As not everyone knows about the diet; it was really awkward and she made me feel as if I was doing some stupid crash diet. Once I explained what cambridge is all about and how great I feel plus how well I'm doing. It made her look very petty and small!!!

But I can't understand people not respecting other people and their decisions...

Just keep going everyone, we're doing this for us not anyone else...

Phew better for saying that now, thanks for listening, now where's my water