My journey to the Land Of Slim

Sunshine Singer

Sunshine Singer

Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic
I was planning on starting my own diary when I got to 9st to motivate me through maintenance. However I've decided that I would like to start it now on day 46, why wait to be motivated?

Now I'm going to write this for me and of course anyone who is at all interested but I have found waking up every morning to my Shrinklie thread and posting has been a huge factor on why I've been able to stay on track all this time. I find posting positive thoughts for the day to help others has actually helped me every day. When else in every day life do we ever get up and first thing list the positive things we are going to do.....well I've never have.

So here I am at week 6 day 5 and am loving every day of my CD journey. I started out at 11st 3lbs with a goal of 9st. Today I've decided to get real and have changed my goal to 8st 11lbs as I know I will be so happy back at that weight.

I am really excited to have enjoyed my journey so far so much. It doesn't feel like a diet to me at all. I've been doing 810 as I thought, knowing me, there would be more chance of me sticking to it. So it's a little less of a loss each month but I'll get there and much quicker than on any other diet I've ever been on.

Just like everyone else in the first few weeks, I've had my up's and down's with side effects and being ill however this time has been different for me. This time I haven't blamed the diet for being ill and if I've come home exhausted from work, in agony with period pains or felt low I haven't gone straight to the kitchen to binge on anything and everything that was there, the trap I was caught in for years. Because of the simple fact that I'm enjoying CD so much, I've just enjoyed what I can have on the plan and not once felt the need to binge.

Seeing the pounds coming off like this is just amazing to me. I've only ever lost a lot of weight through nearly killing myself working out and counting every point that touched my lips (and boy that was hard work and I couldnt maintain the weight loss) or through losing my lovely Mum suddenly 5 years ago when I was so caught up in looking after her that I didn't eat to my marraige breakdown nearly 3 years ago. All 3 times I was tiny but never could enjoy it with the stress I was going through.

This time however,I am so ready for this. I'm ready to be skinny/slim not a stick...I'll always have my curves, I'm a woman and we have them. I'm choosing to do this for me and because of this I'm loving all the changes that are happening to me. Like in week 1 when my cheekbones came out, week 3 when my 3 chins were becoming 2 :) and all the other changes like my tummy and muffin tops are getting smaller and my calves thinning.

Now I'm not an obsessive person. I don't stand in front of the mirror every 5 mins to see if i've lost weight but I've noticed the difference in my clothes. I was always into fashion and loved my clothes but as the weight (notice i say 'the' weight and not 'my' weight) piled on I covered up in jeans and hoody's, stopped wearing skirts and the fatter I became the more effort (if I was dressing up etc) I had to make with my makeup just to feel ok about myself. Now tho having lost 20 and a half lbs in 6 weeks, I'm back in my lovely clothes again and this time I'm appreciating it.

Today was a bit of a turning point for me. I've had my hair cut into a lovely short feminine bob as i no longer have my 3 chins , my cheekbones are out and I no longer feel the need to hide behind my long hair. I feel liberated, younger and a million times better about myself.

As this is my first diary entry it's pretty long and a bit waffally. I'll go into more detail along the way.
In short the few lows during the 6 weeks have been having 2 periods within 3 weeks, very low enery at times, being completly wide awake all night at times and being sick with a bug twice. But i didn't dwell on any of these lows and never once intended on cheating or losing focus.
The highs have truely out-weighed any little lows. Seeing the results so fast with my body and face changing. The compliments from friends, finding lots in my wardrobe that now fits or almost fits me. The confidence to have a short hair do and not feeling the need to hide my face. Trying on the sample bridesmaid dress this week for the second time to check my measurements before ordering and fitting in the sample that didn't go anywhere near me last time. Wearing shorter skirts and finding that all my usual tops are hanging off me so much so they make me look bigger than I am....hurray!
Most of all......the friends who I have made on here and the fabulous support I've had. You know who you are and you've kept me really motivated.

Finally (at last i hear you say, or I hear myself say if this has been too long for anyone to read :)) I keep KD's words close to my heart that getting to goal is only the beginning.

Loving CD xxx
 
Hey Sunshine Singer........
Well done you hon........... I loved reading your first diary entry and good on you for starting now rather than waiting until you are maintaining..
Everything you say makes so much sense and you are going to be just where you want to be before you know it as you sound so determined.. i agree curves look good on women and skinny skinny isnt so feminine.....
You have been through lots it seems over the last few years but you sound like you are so determined to get to where you want to be..
Well done you..... your positive and inspirational thoughts are great..
I LOVE CD too its definately changed my life for the better............
Keep smiling hon your doing great xxx
 
AAAAaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww Curlywurly,

Thank you SO much for your encouragement hun. I really do appreciate it.

I remember 6 weeks ago when I first came here as a newbe and the 3 people who reached out to me were you, Jess and Lexie. Looking at what the 3 of you were achieving was incredibly inspiring to me. I know we hear that word on here loads but no matter how the 3 of you were feeling or what you were going through you still came accross so positive.

You reached out to me when I started and this week I was able to reach out to someone new and answer their questions. When they thanked me over and over for helping them, I really wanted to thank them because they made me feel pretty special being able to help them.

I'm not being a lovey dovey and trying not to be a soppy cow but it's how I feel and what you guys mean to my journey.

Then there's the two that started in Shrinklies with me Fattyfattybumtum and Thelma and between us we keep eachother motivated every day.

So a huge thank you. You are still doing so well even if you've turned into a shopaholic like me,

Big hugs
 
Hey SS..
Your doing fab and I am so pleased you are feeling so good......... You are an inspiration and Im so pleased that you are able to help others, and I am pleased I was able to help you too..
CD really is fab....... and like you when your feeling good about it, its so good to share those feelings and help others that have just started.. I think only once being on cd I had a day where I felt I could have eaten when on ss but never did........ I really do love CD, Keep smiling hon you are doing great x
 
A Mixture of big and small

I feel a mixture of big and small today. I spent the day shopping with a friend, 810 dinner, more shopping and coffee sat in the sun which was bliss. I feel small (size wise) because what I tried on wether I liked it or not fitted. This included a sundress in a size 12- dresses and me don’t usually get along as I’m short waisted. It was a perfect fit but decided to wait till I’m at goal and see what suits me then instead. I bought a skirt which I know I’ll wear to death, it looks nice, is a little tight (not uncomfortable) but I know as I lose another couple of lbs it can only look better. So trying on these clothes made me feel really good about myself and for the first time I asked my friend to come in to the fitting room with me and was confident to show her and get her opinion. I usually just decide myself to avoid having to trapse out on show.

I felt big because I’m still bloated and now my period is due any day on top of that. Because I had been constipated for ages my CDC told me to take Senekot but when I don’t take them I’m still not able to go which is pretty uncomfortable. I got glimpses of myself in various mirrors and felt I looked chubby. How the hell did I cope with being 20lbs heavier….I just must have avoided looking perhaps.

I’m keeping my goal in focus so much right now. I just want to get there and feel good about myself. I can’t wait to see what suits me when I’m about 8st 11lbs. Another stone to go.

For the first time ever my friend said she knows she needs to lose weight but doesn’t want to at the moment. We talked so much about comfort eating and she’s been going to the shops nightly and stocking the fridge with cakes etc. Sounds familiar! Both her and her OH have put on weight according to her because she keeps buying all this rubbish. Maybe this is why she lashed out about this site during the week (the thread I posted). I have never known her to want to lose weight before. I’ve convinced her that the 810 plan I’m on is fantastic for me. She went on about starvation on VLCD’s and I said as long as they have all their allocated packs it’s not starvation although if they don’t have what they should then yes it’s not so healthy. There’s a good reason why you should have what you’re meant to have.

My post arrived this morning with fridge magnet from my CDC congratulating me being well on my way to the new me…which I thought was really lovely of her. Gave me a little boost and is now on my fridge as a reminder of what I have achieved so far. It really is the little things that keep me going. I’d like to get to my next goal of being in the normal/ok weigh range, about 4 lbs away at the moment. I’d love to do it by next weekend as I’m seeing all the family and extended family and friends in Dublin…….eeek but with my period coming I doubt that will happen.

Right I’m off to read some threads now and get some inspiration. I feel I need it tonight. What a muddled up diary page this is but that’s what’s on my mind right now. xxx


 
slumpy low

I'm feeling a slumpy low right now. I think it was all the talk re food with friend today and being surrounded by all the foods I used to eat. I'm well able to cope around other people eating, kind of just block out whatever they are having and concentrate on enjoying mine. Even went into Hotel Chocolate which my friend always buys from and took a bit of my choc bar to stop my mind wandering. It's hours after thats it's seemed to bother me. I felt like eating loads earlier and luckily I was able to tuck into my choc mousse and then yoghurt.

It still amazes me how up and down I am on CD. I still love it but when I'm high I high and when I'm low I'm low.

More water, more water.
 
You are doing so well Sunshine, and always seem so upbeat. Sorry to hear you are feeling low this evening... I was finding it difficult earlier, but have resisted temptation. You should be pleased with yourself that you haven't given in even with all the food talk earlier. Think how proud you will be when you get to goal.

I've loved reading your diary posts, they are an inspiration to me.
 
Hey SS..
Sounds like you had a fun day shopping with your friend........
Im sorry to hear your not feeling so great tonight. but we all have off days.. Chin up hon your doing soo well xxx
 
Shopaholic, thank you so much for your lovely post and words. you're doing so well and good on you for resisting temptation. keep up the good work xxx
 
Thanks Curly, yep you're right we all have them. A good nights sleep will do the trick and a chilled out day in the sunshine :)

Have a good sunday whatever you're doing xxx
 
21lbs down & why I feel so good

Something to share with you......

A while before I started CD I wrote a list for myself why I wanted to lose weight. It's a long one and has been on my fridge ever since. It's full of reasons why and events coming up I wanted to look good for. I can't believe looking at it today how much of it I can now cross off. Things like feeling happy and positive, good hair and skin, get rid of under eye bags, wearing the fashion I love, to look younger and health reasons etc. What a great boost for myself.
:thinking2:

So what I've done today is write a new list headed 21lbs down and why i feel so good. I've listed practically an A4 sized page of reasons why. It's going on my fridge under the magnet from my CDC (the one that says I'm well on the road to the new me) so I can see it everyday. It's also got the events coming up till Christmas which I'll keep adding to for motivation. :character00148:

I'm going to do this again at goal and maintenence at least and keep all the sheets together to look back on.

We get used to being slimmer really quickly and when you're at goal and the compliments become less as people get used to the new you, it can be a bit of a low (from past experience). So I am keeping these lists, along with photos for inspiration on that day that might come and I need a lift or reminder of what I've achieved. :read:

:read::character00148::thinking2:
 
Hey SS......
I love reading your diary...... It really has your true feelings written down and what a great idea to do writing down all your reasons for losing weight and events to feel good at..
Your doing fab hon....... stay motivated because your doing so well xx
 
Awwwww Curly and Serena, thanks you so much. I do write from my heart....I'm Irish so what you see is what you get! :giggle:

It is a real bonus to tick off your list as you go through the different events and as you feel better about yourself. I think I'll put on the back a few more reasons as to what I want to achieve....ahahhahhaa anything to keep me going. It's almost like a hobby for me now, Loving it, thanks againxxx
 
First Big Compliment

:happy036:

I’ve had my first big complement and it’s never ever been said to me before. One of the girls, I’m friendly with at work, told me that she and the other girls had all been talking about how I’m fading away in front of their eyes!!! Yay!!! I thanked her for the fab compliment. I was thinking people weren’t noticing as no-one was saying anything to me. Not that I’d expect anyone to say something…..but I was wondering when people would start noticing. At last they have!!!!

I am feeling really happy and content inside. I’m a happy person usually but to feel truly content is something else. I knew when I was heavier that I was unhappy inside, almost dull, heavy, fatigued and that I’d feel so much better if I sorted my weight out. Well here I am doing it and it’s just the best feeling ever.

I have still 13lbs to shed (where does it all go!!!!!?) and can’t imagine how I’ll feel at goal and when I start working up the plans. But even when I was teaching at the piano today, I looked down and my tummies weren’t bulging out in front of me. Then later when I plonked myself into a chair in the office and laid my hands on my tummy (not on purpose), I quietly noticed it felt flatter.

I’m trying to get into the sun as much as I can to tan my limbs so I can show them off! I am looking forward to getting back into my weight-training with OH nearer goal. It’s so much fun and will sort my bingo wings out once and for all. I’ll wait till I’m at goal because it will wreck my head with muscle weighing more than fat plus I’ll need loads of energy for lifting weights again. I am doing the sit-ups challenge tho and it worked today when I saw the thread, it reminded me so off I went to do them before work.

I just wonder how my family will react when they see me this weekend in Dublin. The last people to see me 8 weeks ago were my Dad and his 2 friends when we were away in Israel for 2 weeks. They ate 3 huge meals every day and I was keeping up with them and feeling absolutely huge. I actually emailed my CDC while we were away and asked if I could start CD asap. They all knew I was going to start CD and know I’ve lost weight so we’ll see what happens. I was looking through the holiday photos last night with my OH and I can’t believe the difference in how I looked. I was so uncomfortable in my clothes and I knew I had extra chins but my jaw line had bloated out too. Oh thank god I am where I am now. Thank God!
 
I'm back from a very heavy weekend where the family were putting down my Nan's gravestone 4 months after she died. I was faced with every food that's ever been made for 4 days solid and am pleased to report I stayed on 810 the whole time. What a great feeling now but boy did I have to use my willpower a couple of times. I almost sat back and observed everyone else eating and was amused how others would try and impose their foods on me....anyway I've come too far now to blow my journey because someone else wanted to feed me.

I had a lot of compliments every day as i was amongst about 120 people who i hadn't seen in months. So that really kept me going.

Basically I looked at the weekend as a test and I planned my meals which really helped. When I was faced with all those deserts etc, as in plonked down in front of me with everyone munching away for what seemed like forever, it was hard, really hard. But no way was I going to stray from 810 and I'm so glad I didn't.

Today however it has really hit me as it was a very emotional weekend. My aunt, (52yrs) is dying and travelled from France for her last time. We pretty much said goodbye to her as she's battled cancer for 3 years and her time is coming to an end. Her body is shutting down, she's blue and skin and bone. Along with this and the rest of the weekend, I'm so upset and holding back the tears while I'm at work. Can't wait to be home tonight snuggled up on the sofa and just relax.

I'll be back later to add to this I'm sure, just a bit funny at work to be on here saying all this. I've got through a hard weekend but today I could so easily eat the wrong things as i feel so low. I know it won't help. :(
 
Oh sunshine I bet heavy doesnt half describe it. I really feel for you and Im so proud of you for being SO strong - I know I would have caved.

I wish I could say more to help but I suppose in situations like this not much does, but just to let you know I am thinking of you
xxx
 
Hi Jess, thanks so much for your kind post. You're right heavy doesn't really describe it. Well I'm on my second coffee now to wake me up for the rest of work till 6 :) xxx I struggle with lows as i see the good in so many things but this is a tough one. thanks again hun x
 
i'm sorry to hear you are having such a horrid time of it Sunshine. It won't be long until you are snuggling up on the sofa relaxing. Congratulations on resisting all the temptation and staying 810, that must have been difficult! you are doing so well, and don't have far to go now :)
 
Awww thanks hun. I can't believe i've been able to stay on track. I think it must be that i'm very stubborn :) xxx
 
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