Telling people...

I just made the disasterous mistake of telling someone at work..

I've had no problem telling anyone else... family and friends are supportive, OH has been brilliant and is happily cooking his own meals etc...

now, I know this is about me not her... when you write the conversation down on paper, she's not said anything wrong... but when she told me that her friend had gone on the CD, I didn't feel able to keep it to myself, so I told her I'm on it too... and instantly regretted it! I felt Vulnerable, Judged, Criticised.. I feel at risk of it being talked about amongst others in a gossip/derriding way.. there's no reason to suggest she would do any of these things.. she doesn't tend to.. it's MY INSECURITIES... but I haven't felt this about telling anyone else..

her only comments have been:

"it doesn't sound very healthy"

"it's much better to go to weight watchers and learn how to look after yourself properly"

and:

"Your body's clearly not getting enough nutrients or calaries, otherwise you wouldn't have that coldsore."

(DOES SHE HONESTLY THINK I'VE NEVER BEEN TO WEIGHTWATCHERS??? OR THAT I BELIEVE IT IS HEALTHIER TO EAT LARD THAN FRESH FRUIT AND VEGETABLES???!)

I feel annoyed/insulted/upset.. and strangely violated in some way, like she's found my deepest insecurities and poked them with a big sharp stick!

It's not like I have any other vices.. comfort eating has been a gradual reaction to distress developed subtly over many years..

I ended up saying to her "I'm not sure I want to talk about this", she said "well you brought it up".. "Yes, I guess I could have kept it to myself when you mentioned your friend, but I'm not feeling comfortable talking about it"

I'm HOPING that things will simply return to normal, but I'm feeling really uncomfortable...

Just thought I'd share!

Right - end of lunch break... back to work!!

x

Hugs honey... she will see that is a healthy diet when you start to glow with health and shed the lbs (& stones). I can totally understand how vulnerable you must feel... I was the same, & even now only a few close friends know exactly how I have lost the weight. I have found it easier to talk about my food issues as time went on, as if by talking about it I can make sure it never, ever happens again, but even then I am careful who i would discuss it with. It's such a painful subject, and for quite a few of us, I suspect.

xxx

So far I've only told my boyfriend & my mother about the diet, as they are the only people who truely understand my weight struggles over the years and whilst my boyfriend thinks the CD isn't a great idea as the calories are too low he is supporting me.

Everyone has their own idea of what is the "best" way to lose weight and people can be so quick to judge and often love giving out their own opinions. Personally I'm not telling anyone else unless when I've lost weight they specifically ask how I've done it. At least then if they say it's not a healthy way to lose weight you can be like "it's not healthy being X amount over weight, so anything is better than that! The programme is nutritionally complete and would you please take a look at how much my butt has shrunk for further evidence.".

Hun, people can be very strange. When they see others doing well (especially with weight loss) it makes them feel bad about themselves. Actually by her statements to you it sounds like she is insecure and by putting you down she feels better about herself. You should hold your head high because you are doing something great for yourself and addressing your weight issue like the rest of us. She doesn't sound good for you so keep your distance without her knowing you're doing so. Surround yourself with the ones you know are good for you and love you.

So, keep your head high and know you are doing something fantastic for yourself.

Take care xxx

I agree with Katy is most aspects xx I must admit when I started I told anyone and everyone, but think that was for my benefit as so many times I have started a diet, then fallen by the wayside. I suppose for me it has helped people knowing as they tend to ask how I've done, or even being in my line of work (I'm a chef/deli manager) I am aware that if i nibble people may notice and that guilt trip helps me not to stray! But then we are different, I can understand why those pesky insecurities would rear their ugly heads but hold your head up high, and show them (and yourself) you're doing just fine!!! xx

people like us maybe sunshine??? xx

Yep!! :0) the support is amazing. Everyone understands and no one judges....what a place xxx

Oh poor you, I'd have fallen into exactly the same 'trap'. Some damage limitation needed here I think, tell her now that you don't want it to go any further and hope that she complies, at least you can have the satisfaction of giving her a going over if she does - and looking fantastic as well as you get slimmer!

Chin up! We are all with you.

Something similar happened to me last week, I was spotted opening a Cambridge Diet soup by a colleague. She then felt the need to ask if I was dieting and how 'crazy' the diet seemed.

As she knew nothing about the diet I gave her a quick lesson and she went away better educated if not completely understanding it.

Since then another lady has joined Cambridge which makes 3 of us now blending soups a lunch time!

I laughed to myself when I left the office on Thursday and she was round the back having a fag!! I would have loved to lecture her about the dangers of smoking but smiled to myself and went home to enjoy my Cambridge soup....

You have to do what's right for you...

Hugs ... it is hard when people are negative!!

I have only told my immediate family (hubby and kids) and my sister who lives away... no one else knows because I hate critisism and like you it makes me feel very vulnerable.
Thing is I doubt she know s'anything' about CD, so if she brings it up again, tell her it' is a well researched diet of 25yrs standing, and if she would like to know the science behind it, then CD website have details of all the scientific papers written on VLCD.
Tell her that many healthy people get cold sores every day and that you don't know of any other CDers who have broken out in them, it's totally unrelated!
Ultimately, know in yourself that you are doing fine. If she asks you any more questions you can just tell her that yes you are still doing the diet and no you would not like to talk about it right now.

Btw... I went for a meeting to day and havnt seen the people since before I started CD, I got two comments about how well I looked!
So must be doing something right!

x

Hey hon
Just wanted to send big hugs to you!!!
Why oh why do people have to put there ORE into everything.. Why dont they let us people do what we want to do.
I so understand I have had so many comments and critisims to from people..... but hey alot is jealousy. and some people like to see others miserable.. Or just like to butt there nose into things that have nothing to do with them.

Hang in there your doing fab.. We will show them!!!!!

Dude*Bear said:

Something similar happened to me last week, I was spotted opening a Cambridge Diet soup by a colleague. She then felt the need to ask if I was dieting and how 'crazy' the diet seemed.

As she knew nothing about the diet I gave her a quick lesson and she went away better educated if not completely understanding it.

Since then another lady has joined Cambridge which makes 3 of us now blending soups a lunch time!

I laughed to myself when I left the office on Thursday and she was round the back having a fag!! I would have loved to lecture her about the dangers of smoking but smiled to myself and went home to enjoy my Cambridge soup....

You have to do what's right for you...

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Hey that made think, if at work you saw someone with a packet of ciggarettes you wouldn't go up to them and go "hey I see you're smoking there... you do know they are bad for you don't you" or similarly with alcohol. Or even with someone eating a cake or something. Just because it's a controversial diet in some peoples eyes I don't know what makes people think it's ok to stick their noses in and then go on to give their (unwanted) opinion!

hear hear! xx

People at work have been pretty positive on the whole. The women I work with are very supportive. I hadn't told anyone else until the other week when it was someone's birthday and I refused cake. They all wanted to know about the diet so I told them. A couple of others at work have done LL, so it's not like they didn't know all that much about it. I don't know whether they might discuss me behind my back-I doubt it-but I don't really care. I'm doing this for me. The only negative that I've had from work is from someone who has lost weight herself by seeing a nutritionist. She said that the diet was unhealthy and that I would be likely to put all the weight back on again when I'd finished! Then last week she asked me how the diet was going and if I'd lost any weight (I'd lost 21lbs!) She then said it was 'so hard to tell if someone has lost any weight' That upset me for a while, but everyone else can see the difference in me so I don't really care what she thinks. Her pattern of eating now may be 'healthy' but she has had to cut an awful lot out of her diet, so to me it would be totally unmanageable. I'm happy with this diet and what it's doing for me-so I don't care what anyone else thinks now.

Awww... what a lot of lovely and considered reponses!

I had to do a double take when furrysmudge said: "people like us maybe sunshine??? xx"

Are you referring to:

Sunshine Singer said:

Surround yourself with the ones you know are good for you and love you.

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or...

Sunshine Singer said:

Hun, people can be very strange.

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Hahaha!!!

Vxxxx

I have had similar reactions in work - I think it comes from lack of understanding. And to be fair, before I looked into C I probably would have dismissed it as unhealthy. But there are a couple of people there who have done LL (and kept the weight off!) and they are being dead supportive.
You know what? You are doing this for you and no one else. If other people don't like it, it's their stuff. (If I were you I would hide her pens tomorrow, ha ha!) xx

Hahahahhahahahahahahahhha hillarious xxx

EllieMellie said:

You know what? You are doing this for you and no one else. If other people don't like it, it's their stuff. (If I were you I would hide her pens tomorrow, ha ha!) xx

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Haha!!!!

You know, it's really helped me pouring my thoughts out here.. You're right - it is her stuff, and actually, the bottom line is that she doesn't know what it's like, and hopefully never will.. she also might not know where her pens go tomorrow!! Hahahaha!!! Noo... wouldn't dream of it... but I REALLY like the idea!! Hahaha!

Oh god......i was laughing at which of my lines were being linked to CD's not the last comment :0) whoops. That's me doing 3 things at once xxx

Lol Enough, the first of course! (sorry, don't know how to quote messages in reply but sure you know what I meant!) xx