Emski's Little Spillage

Hey its me... Im kinda back, but kinda not..

The thing is I came back, was on track and then fell off again big style.

I am currently weighing in at 13 st 4lbs which means I have put back on 11lbs but I am still a stone lighter than this time last year.

I have been to the docs this week and been diagnosed as being depressed.. one of the symptoms I have is compulsive eating... unfortunately I do not compulsively eat free food.. its crisps, chocolate etc. It has been very hard for me to admit to doing this as I feel shameful.. There is a logical side of me that says just stop doing it, but when its happening I cant. I am not at the stage of a whole family pack of crisps or whole loaves of white bread, but a i can get through 2 or 3 bags of crisps followed by biscuits and 1-2 chocolate bars. I start the day following plan and then its down hill from then.

I am going to the gym and go dancin once a week, so that is helping. And of course I stopped smoking.

Another thing is that I dont really know how to see myself... today for example I go to TK Max with a friend and I choose her some size 14 dresses to try on.. she persuades me to try them on to.. and they fit.. and i mean proper fit.. not squeeze yourself into fit. And yet I see myself as a big girl.. but a 14 is not big.. its normal..

My man tells me im ok.. its just my belly.. yes i have a wobbly one..

I have looked through some other websites and forums for others like myself and there is nowhere I feel more comfortable and supported than here with you guys.. so I am back but not in the right space to dish out the advice .. but can contribute with a little humour and congratulations.. also not on plan at all and will stay that way on docs advice.

Im not looking for advice as this is something I have to work on for myself.. I just need somewhere to spill and maybe get a little friendly hug

Well have a great big hug from me for starts...
((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))

Glad your back on here but sorry to hear you are having a difficult time at the moment.

Well done on being a stone lighter than this time last year - that is a real achievement. And well done on keeping up with the exercise.

So welcome back!! x

hey there -

i used to eat like that when i was depressed. I reckon you need to tackle the depression to break the cycle of comfor eating.

welcome back - stick around and i am sure you will get tonnes of support and get back on track

Hiya Ems, Soooo know where you are coming from, glad to see you back here hun, I've missed your witty posts, hehe. xxx

Thanks for the welcome backs.. and the hugs..

Have made the decision to go on the happy pills.. the doc will be calling me tomorrow to confirm... feeling a bit apprehensive about it all but hopefully will be for the best.

Am feeling poorly again, full of cold and funny tummy.. I wonder whether it is all in my head or whether I am genuinly ill.. then I have to laugh cos I do my own head in with it. Have taken rest of week off work and will allow myself to lie on sofa with a duvet, box of tissues a tub of Vicks and get my son to make me lots of tea!!!

I havent been able to gym this week due to feeling poo, but have been on a couple of longish walks with the dogs. And did go out on Sunday night and had a bit of a boogie.

So its not all doom and gloom...

I have news... I am a grandma!!! yes my son and his girlfriend had baby Jack a couple of weeks ago and my daughter had baby Ebonie at the end of Feb ..