Off topic - Dont know what to do

Kellybeeb

Kellybeeb

Full Member
I am so confused at the moment, with making such drastic changes in my life me and my OH decided after 5 years of being together and 4 years of being engaged, we are getting married, only problem is i dislike my family a lot and don't really want them to be there, which wouldn't be a problem if we were going abroad like we planned, now i feel awful for making OH's family miss us getting married, he is an only child so i feel like i'm forcing him to do this as he actually likes his family, its so confusing :(:(:(:(:(:(
 
hey there honey. what does he say about it? does he want to have his family at the wedding or is he happy to have a romantic getaway with just the two of you?

there's no reason why you can't make this all about the two of you, which is how it should be, and have a party for the family when you get back... and you won't have to worry about your family on your big day :)

i am still organising mine and it's a royal nightmare making everyone happy!!

abz xx
 
He is very difficult to get the truth out of about it lol... I just have a feeling that he is going along with what i mention most of the time....But i dont know how to get around it i upset his family or i have to confront mine and tell them i dont want them there............so difficult why do weddings have to be family things i would love to go to a beach somewhere and just have no phones or internet and be alone

I dont ask for much do i :p:p:p:p
 
Go abroad, get married come back have a party

If its really important to him you can take a few family members too. You can also take the ones you "really have to" from yours if you want.
 
i am sure people will understand if you decide to go away and get married alone. take a couple of his family as witnesses if you want to. does your family get on with you? is it one-sided? will they mind if you don't invite them?

abz xx
 
I have said that his parents can come with us but his mum gave me a hard time about his grandparents, i dont want my family to even know im getting married until they cant do anything about it lol, its so difficult, i need to win the lottery so i can offically divorce my family!!

Yeah my family like me it just is not mutual i can talk to them on the phone but i dread seeing them in person, there have been a few occasions we have stopped talking but then i get a phone call a few months later saying sorry.
 
i think it's really sad that weddings are spent worrying about keeping everyone else happy, though I know it does tend to work that way. I agree with abz that the day should be about you two, and what YOU want, the idea about you getting married abroad and having a few of closest family that you like there, then having a party at home for the rest of them and friends seems a good one...... xx
 
or you could run off and get married just the two of you and have a mock ceremony at home afterwards with a lot less pressure?

abz xx
 
Kellybeeb said:
I am so confused at the moment, with making such drastic changes in my life me and my OH decided after 5 years of being together and 4 years of being engaged, we are getting married, only problem is i dislike my family a lot and don't really want them to be there, which wouldn't be a problem if we were going abroad like we planned, now i feel awful for making OH's family miss us getting married, he is an only child so i feel like i'm forcing him to do this as he actually likes his family, its so confusing :(:(:(:(:(:(
Click to expand...

I was the same a few years ago. I had ben married before so wasnt bothered about big whte wedding, hubby is an only child (one step sister). Plus we had little money for the big affair.
We wanted his mum, step sister & her hubby then we would have to invite his aunt & her children, same with my family you cant invite someone without someone else getting offended. Not including friends as well there would have been nearly 50 people.
We ended up going off just the two of us to gretna green, got two locals as witnesses, got some wonderful pictures.
Then had a party when we got home. It was the easiest way for us.
It is your day, you must do what you feel is right
Good luck
 
You know something....
I think that If you get on with your BF's family and really can't stand yours. then I would have the wedding that you both want, even if it is a big white wedding!
Just don't invite your family!
You don't have to! it is your decision.... nothing to say that his family have to be on one side with your side empty..
Invite a few friends and anyone else who is special to you....

Both my weddings ..I ended up with handfuls of people i didnt want there and wish I hadnt tried to make people happy...
Have a wonderful day... I'm sure yer man will support you in everyway and their is no way your family can find out unless you tell them!!
 
Me and the partner are going to sit down and have a chat tonight, I had a look at a place near me that i would love to get married and its 3999 for having the place for the day but been quoted just under 5000 for 2 weeks away in Mauritius and getting married there???? Can you tell me which is more value for money? LOL
 
Definately Mauritius ( is there any room to stowaway? lol)
Have the day you want and a holiday then when you get back arrange an informal party at the pub or something for all the others to come to if they want.

Make you and your BF's day special that you will remember forever :)

Annie x
 
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