Poppysparkle
Silver Member
I need some help with perspective I think!
I'm very, very near my original goal weight of 10 stone. When I first went to LL weighing 15 stone 13lb, I wanted to be 10 stone on my scales, and as of this morning I weighted 10st 2lb. Obviously, this isn't official, and I will be getting down to the magic 10 stone on LL scales, which is a 3-4lb different to my home ones.
Now, I have a few issues going on in my head!
I'm finding it very scary the thought of eating. I look at food still and know that I still have those addictive eating instincts and that I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep control. I'm okay while I'm doing abstinence, and I'm very tempted to now go down to 9 and a half stone on LL scales, just to stay on abstinence - 1) because I'm so worried about eating again, and 2) because I don't think I'm quite slim enough yet, even though I'm a smaller size than I ever hoped to be, having just bought a size 10 pair of skinny jeans and having fitted into a fitted size 12 dress in Warehouse - I even caught sight of myself in the mirror in Warehouse and was shocked because I realised that I'm pretty slim now! My profile pics were taken four weeks ago, and I've probably lost another stone since then, but I still look at myself and think I need to just get rid of the tummy a bit more, or some more flab on the top of my back and on my arms, although I'm not sure if this is flab or loose skin (my BMI is probably around 23 now).
Someone said to me today that of all the people in work that have done LL, she thinks I will be the most affected and will have the most issues making sure I keep it off. I asked why, and she didn't really explain properly. We know two or three people who have done it, and they are all struggling to some extent and reusing the packs regularly. I agree with her to some extent because I feel so different now and it's so important to me, but then I am also wondering if I can remember this all the time to stop me putting on weight. She thinks I'm going to get obsessed and paranoid about weighing myself and eating.
I'm feeling very nervous and am sure that this is all natural. I just feel like with all the messing about with our LLC going off sick and having one locum after another that we haven't really done the full CBT/TA stuff and I don't know enough and I feel so unprepared to start eating again. Then I tell myself that it's all my CHOICE and only I can put food into my mouth.
Oh dear, this is terrifying!!
I'm very, very near my original goal weight of 10 stone. When I first went to LL weighing 15 stone 13lb, I wanted to be 10 stone on my scales, and as of this morning I weighted 10st 2lb. Obviously, this isn't official, and I will be getting down to the magic 10 stone on LL scales, which is a 3-4lb different to my home ones.
Now, I have a few issues going on in my head!
I'm finding it very scary the thought of eating. I look at food still and know that I still have those addictive eating instincts and that I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep control. I'm okay while I'm doing abstinence, and I'm very tempted to now go down to 9 and a half stone on LL scales, just to stay on abstinence - 1) because I'm so worried about eating again, and 2) because I don't think I'm quite slim enough yet, even though I'm a smaller size than I ever hoped to be, having just bought a size 10 pair of skinny jeans and having fitted into a fitted size 12 dress in Warehouse - I even caught sight of myself in the mirror in Warehouse and was shocked because I realised that I'm pretty slim now! My profile pics were taken four weeks ago, and I've probably lost another stone since then, but I still look at myself and think I need to just get rid of the tummy a bit more, or some more flab on the top of my back and on my arms, although I'm not sure if this is flab or loose skin (my BMI is probably around 23 now).
Someone said to me today that of all the people in work that have done LL, she thinks I will be the most affected and will have the most issues making sure I keep it off. I asked why, and she didn't really explain properly. We know two or three people who have done it, and they are all struggling to some extent and reusing the packs regularly. I agree with her to some extent because I feel so different now and it's so important to me, but then I am also wondering if I can remember this all the time to stop me putting on weight. She thinks I'm going to get obsessed and paranoid about weighing myself and eating.
I'm feeling very nervous and am sure that this is all natural. I just feel like with all the messing about with our LLC going off sick and having one locum after another that we haven't really done the full CBT/TA stuff and I don't know enough and I feel so unprepared to start eating again. Then I tell myself that it's all my CHOICE and only I can put food into my mouth.
Oh dear, this is terrifying!!