not many places to turn

Hello, nice to be part of your community.
I want to start by introducing to you my scenario.
I am 18 years old and since i was a child my eating habits have been somewhat peculiar. I have not been able to eat like people would, a huge selection of "delicious food" and "unhealthy food". I don't know what caused my issue but from very young I have hated healthier foods (like most would anyway) but the difference is that I only eat certain things like chips or toast (my list of foods that i eat is very very small, and quite unhealthy.) I hate going round to people's houses because I know they'll offer food - and people would say things like "try this it's new" or "do you REALLY not like so many things?".
To be honest it is incredabilly embarressing. I don't think it's the taste of foods but more the texture.
I'll give you an example. At christmas we have a huge christmas dinner like anyone would - mash potatoes, pigs in blankets yorkshire puddings and the job lot. I would start putting mash potatoe to my mouth and I would instantly gip nearly throwing up, yet with the sausages i love eating them (it was only when i was 16 i started eating sausages - and pizza).
I hate Christmas because my family would make jokes and say i'm such a fussy eater. This is hurtful because they think it's my own choice and are ignorant to the possibility it's an eating disorder. I hate Christmas and usually walk away from the dinner table.
To my friends I am normal and I have discussed with my closer friends this and they make fun - of course I laugh with it, they are overall supportive.
I think it's mushy foods or mixed foods that make me physically sick (as apposed to ill, more like simply wanting to vommit). I could never dream of consuming say something like a curry or spagghetti bolognase. I have my meals with just one item in the menu and rarely go more than 2. sometimes I can't even butter my toast and sometimes even have a tast of brushing my teeth in a morning.(however i've learnt to deal with the gipping)
I have been to dietitions and they don't help, they tell me, "don't eat that, eat this" as if it was a script they learnt to say over and over again and without taking my problem into account just give me a chart. It doesn't help and infact it makes things worse.
I have nowhere to turn. I don't want to eat like this - having potatoe smiley faces or toast for tea - it isn't natural. nor is it healthy.
I mean even if someone could suggest dry crispy foods that are healthy and i could constantly eat I'd love them for life. I want to be healthy I excersise and my BMI suggest i'm "ok".
can anybody help? nutrionists or dietisions alike.

thank you for reading
Adam.

Hi. Wow, it must be difficult having such a small selection of foods that you eat.

There was a programme on TV not along ago about 3 children-a girl who ate only chocolate, and toddler that would eat things like biscuits and a toddler that would only take a bottle (though that appeared to be more his mums problem than his). (Have just googled it and got this-its the press release My Child Won't Eat | Ep1 Wk25 08 - ITV Press Centre) I don't know if it's any help (especially as she's a child pscyhologist), maybe if you see your GP or dietician, ask them about her methods. Has your GP referred you to a psychologist-they are the ones who can help with eating disorders.

So you want unmixed, dry foods? Hmm, what about:
cereal
dried fruit
nuts
crackerbread and the like

I think that's all I can think of at the moment. Hope I've been some help.

hi thanks yes it's very helpful. points in the right direction.

I spoke to a dietitian. i gave her a chart of what i ate after i told her my problem
She came back to me and told me what to eat and what not to eat. Basically saying you should not eat so many busicuits, try eating fruit, soups.
Another words - she didn't want to know about the problem, she's paid to do her job and that's to tell people what to eat.
I'll see my GP again and try more. Thanks for the food tips!

Hi. Sounds like a nightmare. I am wondering if you've ever discussed a gastroscopy with your GP? Basically they shove a tube down your throat and look at your oesophagus and the top of your stomach to check all is normal. Some people gag far too easily because the top of their stomach is not right. I've recently had the test and it showed that the top of my stomach doesn't close after I eat which is why I vomit so often. They're now going to operate to fix it and hopefully after that I won't vomit any more. I must admit the tube feels very unpleasant but it doesn't take long and they know straight away if all is correctly shaped and OK or not. Might be worth asking your GP about it.

thanks.
I think it might be more psychological, but I honestly don't know yet. I can eat say a ham sandwich with just ham, or a sandwich with just cheese but a ham and cheese sandwich I have a problem with, makes no sense right?

thanks when i see my gp which will probably be next week i'll talk to him about it. His name is dr Donk, how ironic

Is your diet varied in colour?????

Strange question i know.

Have you tried having a tiny piece of different food every day, and i mean tiny, as in fruit or raw or cooked veg...when your not hungry...

Do you cook??

Because that could help in your adversion to foods, even if you don't eat what you cook..

my diet looks like a digestive biscuit! a strange answer I know but when I think about it most of the foods I love is that kind of beige colour.
It isn't to do with colour though because I love jellies and they're all sorts of colours.

I don't like eating at home anymore for the same reason I don't like eating at other peoples houses so I pretty much always buy food out.
I have eaten apples before and they're okay but if they don't taste exactly the same as the previous time I tend to get weary of it.
Do you mean like eat a bit of fruit one day
and eat the same fruit each day until I get used to it?

yes that sort of thing but only a teeny tiny piece, and keep trying things all the time, what you might have hated you could get to like. and try different coloured food, its all to do wiv vits and minerals, fruit and veg might be the easiest to try but go wiv your feelings...depends on the texture really doesn't it!!!! try raw or cooked or both,,,, what about trying to ccok stuff??? you don't have to eat it, but cooking it might help with any anxiety over food........
xxxxx keep me posted
wishing you oodles of confidence. you can do this
xxx

pret do baked veggie crisps in sweet potato and parsnip and beetroot. I think the idea of trying something everyday is great. Also try raw veg as its crispy.

To be honest, and i hope you dont mind me saying this, i think you would benefit from seeing a counsellor qualified in eating disorders. As you say it may be psychological. I think the dr should refer you.