PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
Oh my god.
I thought I was pretty strong on this program and committed to it 100% but I *just* came a hair's breadth from lapsing!
There's a box of thorntons chocolates that I bought as a gift for people in new zealand but then discovered they couldn't be shipped over with this shipping company in this box I'm sending there. So I was left with this box of yummy chocs. I decided to get rid of them by taking them to this society I run. But, worse! I came home with a half eaten box. I've had them for about 10 days and I've been absolutely fine.
This evening I've been feeling on & off hungry. I do seem to get this and it normally is genuine hunger as far as I can tell, for some reason unknown cos I'm in ketosis. Normally I ignore it and although it continues for that day, it goes by the next. But I was feeling pretty lost & lousy tonight (won't go into it). And I thought "I'll just smell those chocs, won't have any but won't harm to smell them"
Oh my gosh I can only describe a sort of frenzy took over my brain and I was so so SO close to lapsing and having one. I even looked at how many carbs/cals were in each chocolate as to how much damage it would do. I cannot describe it I practically was about to put one in my mouth.. I was stood for about 5 mins I think, frozen in my chatterbox dialogue!
It's really scared me! For the first time I realised that I COULD lapse on this! I mean before I'd not even really considered that I could. And I nearly DID! It was only this forum that stopped me - when I see how much people struggle after lapsing. I keep telling myself it's not the physical damage to the diet as much as the psychological thing of knowing you couldn't resist food and knowing you've 'broken' it.
I did manage to resist, but only by throwing the box lid on them and running to the bathroom and brushing my teeth!
I also gave myself a stern talking to in the mirror.
God this is a long post now but I just really needed to get it off my chest! If you're reading this far, all respect to you.
Gaah. GAAAAAH! I'm sort of embarrassed and scared by it, even though I didn't do anything in the end and I resisted it.
I thought I was pretty strong on this program and committed to it 100% but I *just* came a hair's breadth from lapsing!
There's a box of thorntons chocolates that I bought as a gift for people in new zealand but then discovered they couldn't be shipped over with this shipping company in this box I'm sending there. So I was left with this box of yummy chocs. I decided to get rid of them by taking them to this society I run. But, worse! I came home with a half eaten box. I've had them for about 10 days and I've been absolutely fine.
This evening I've been feeling on & off hungry. I do seem to get this and it normally is genuine hunger as far as I can tell, for some reason unknown cos I'm in ketosis. Normally I ignore it and although it continues for that day, it goes by the next. But I was feeling pretty lost & lousy tonight (won't go into it). And I thought "I'll just smell those chocs, won't have any but won't harm to smell them"
Oh my gosh I can only describe a sort of frenzy took over my brain and I was so so SO close to lapsing and having one. I even looked at how many carbs/cals were in each chocolate as to how much damage it would do. I cannot describe it I practically was about to put one in my mouth.. I was stood for about 5 mins I think, frozen in my chatterbox dialogue!
It's really scared me! For the first time I realised that I COULD lapse on this! I mean before I'd not even really considered that I could. And I nearly DID! It was only this forum that stopped me - when I see how much people struggle after lapsing. I keep telling myself it's not the physical damage to the diet as much as the psychological thing of knowing you couldn't resist food and knowing you've 'broken' it.
I did manage to resist, but only by throwing the box lid on them and running to the bathroom and brushing my teeth!
I also gave myself a stern talking to in the mirror.
God this is a long post now but I just really needed to get it off my chest! If you're reading this far, all respect to you.
Gaah. GAAAAAH! I'm sort of embarrassed and scared by it, even though I didn't do anything in the end and I resisted it.