I need a thread of shame

Ok so yesterday I was totally back on track felt v positive and motivated and just basically felt amazing last night the today it all went tits up. I'm finding it so hard to not eat now and when I've even had just a taste of something I can't seem to stop . I feel so guilty and as though I've failed anyway that I just keep going.

I hate admitting all of this to anyone but I really want to stop but it just feels like such a vicious circle, the more I do it the worse I feel which just makes me do it even more, I can't stop crying at the mo I'm just in such a mess.

I read about all of you who are doing so amazingly well and I just want to quit.

Emma

futureyummymummy said:

Ok so yesterday I was totally back on track felt v positive and motivated and just basically felt amazing last night the today it all went tits up. I'm finding it so hard to not eat now and when I've even had just a taste of something I can't seem to stop . I feel so guilty and as though I've failed anyway that I just keep going.

I hate admitting all of this to anyone but I really want to stop but it just feels like such a vicious circle, the more I do it the worse I feel which just makes me do it even more, I can't stop crying at the mo I'm just in such a mess.

I read about all of you who are doing so amazingly well and I just want to quit.

Emma

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Think about that one for a moment. Do you HONESTLY really want to quit? If you did quit, then a month, two months down the line would you regret it?

You haven't failed either. Think of how much you have achieved. You have so much to be proud of honey. You are just going through a bad patch. I've had one, and I know how you feel. It's so difficult to get back into the routine of LL when you've had that first lapse.

And unfortunately if there is a secret to getting your head back into the game, no one has told me yet and I still struggle daily. But I have to keep telling myself why I am doing this, what I want to achieve and how is eating that damn kitkat going to get me there!?

Have you discussed the thoughts relating to the lapses with your LLC?

B x

PS: Still slapping ur wrists for using that "f" word!!

Emma!

You do NOT want to quit! Get your bottom onto msn so I can talk to you.

You're struggling, it's hard but it will STOP being a struggle when you're through it. This is no difference to quitting smoking - addictions are pulling at you and making you feel like ****. Well that WILL stop. Once you get through that hump, you will be ok. SO please, please hold on and no matter how hard it is - you are NOT to eat. You are NOT to feel shame. You are NOT to give up.

You are a throughly gorgeous and wonderful woman, who deserves to feel every ounce of happiness that can come your way. You CAN succeed and if you just hold on tight, you will.

NOTHING will ever taste as nice as when YOU se eyou're a yummymummy. When you pick up your kids and know that everyone is like "WOW, doesn't she look amazing". When you look in the mirror and see someone you love as much as the rest of your family. This is such a big part of that - you need to love yourself just as much - you deserve to be thin, as much as anyone, and I'm not going to sit and let you give up.

This is all said with much love for you - you're in a hard place just now, but the way out id to pull yourself up and out. YOU can do it.

BTW, you're over half way there - you have 38lbs to lose, and you're going to do it - *huggles Emma* - look how far you have come, you've come further than you have left! You deserve this!

Emma, ok stern talking to now!
You are not a failure and you have nothing to feel shameful about. Dealing with eating problems is really difficult, you more than many know this.
I work with drug dependent people and have done for 20 years- giving up heroin is tough but people can choose to never use it again- it aint like that with food- even tho'LL gives us a chance to abstain for a while at some point we will have to eat and that is scary-
Please talk to your llc if you have a good rapport, I'm sure she will be a help.
Think back and list all the reasons you started this in the 1st place. All the positves and negatives for getting back on track- which list is the longest?
Ok talking to over- big hugs now:hug99:

Oh Emma! I think that the others have probably said it better than I can, but I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and hope you are able to see your way through this and STAY!!

You've done so, so well and I truly hope you don't sabotage this totally.

One question - is there a reason that you are scared to carry on being a success? There was a girl in my group last night who has been doing this for 26 weeks and has lost almost 4 stone, but she keeps eating all the time and actually opened up last night and said she was scared to be slim for a few huge reasons, and it was so obvious that this would absolutely hold her back. Now, hopefully, that she's spoken out about these feelings, she might be able to get a handle on things.

I wish I could help you!

Emma,

This diet is tough, and it really does make you face all of those nasty lil demons it would be so much easier to ignore. But the great thing is that you are facing them now! Massive atback: and for that!

You are absolutely worthy of losing this weight, and being this weight again does not mean that bad things will happen again. Putting the weight back on will not stop anything bad happening again, and food will not be your friend to help you through this. Think that through, and know it in your heart (the hard part!).

Having said that, I just want to emphasise how fabulously well you've been doing so far in facing those demons and still losing weight. Don't beat yourself up if you lapse, just pick yourself up and keep going. We can never go back and change the past. Nor can we ever know what will happen in the future. All we can do is deal with what is here in this place, and now in this second in time, and what you are going through. If that means that your past is holding you back in the 'now', then you need to find a way to work through what is holding you back.

Do NOT quit. These issues are not going to go away if you bury them again. Yes it must be incredibly painful, but the only way to help yourself now is to work through them. Eventually you will accept that they are part of who you are and part of what made you the way you are today.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger right?

Anyway big hugs, I wish there was a way for me to take all this pain and heartache away from you!

Ellie

Yesterday's History
Tomorrow a Mystery
Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present.

I know it's an old chestnut but absolutely true. Emma, your history will no doubt be as checkered as all of us, but your recent history of weight loss is outstanding and you must recognize the great things you have achieved already, and will achieve in the future.

Take 10 minutes in a quite place and think about the great things in your life & what you have experienced already - better still write them down and refer to them on a regular basis. Celebrate success, you are a winner and will continue to amaze yourself with your capacity to succeed.

Don't get dragged into negativity, it's too easy but always destructive.

Tell yourself, you CAN do it; you WILL do it; you ARE a success.

We all know it already.