Hi Kelly, I'm sorry to hear about al your hardships recently, and I hope this post finds you feeling a little better. Children do al kinds of things to get attention (working in a behaviour-challenged school I see it all day long), and of course they don't know that's what they are doing, they just act out without being aware of the consequences.
Losing a child must be so hard on you, and it's not something I have personal experience of. My best friend's Mum lost a child about 8 years ago, and I know it doesn't feel like it now, but she has said to me herself, that it does get easier with time.
As for you OH, well
thats a typical reaction for a bloke! idiots! we would cry n cry n they go n sleep with a girl
sadly thats true. If a bloke is dumped/breaks up with a girl, and his confidence is hitting low, the first thing he'll do to prove he's "still manly" is to sleep with the first woman who is willing to. As was said, it would purely have been an insecurity thing on his part, but as he says he still loves you of course it does reek a little of the jealousy game too.
If you only feel like yourself while your OH was away, then perhaps you need to make a regular weekly timeslot that is YOUR time, away from him, the kids and your responsabilities as a mother/wife; if he really does love you (and not just what you do for him) then he'll understand - you can make it one of your "rules" that oyu are basing your fresh start with him on.
I hope it all works out for you.
x