a Tad Unrealistic?

Last night hubby and I went to the cinema to see ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ fab film but full of anorectic size 2 sticks thinking their fat. Anne Hathaway’s character is a size 6 but is constantly being told how fat she is – by the end of the film she’s a size 4 and looks painfully thin.

On the way home I asked the OH what he thought of her figure and what size He’d like me to be. His response was he was he thought she was far too thin but would ideally prefer me to be a size 8! Now I’m on the Cambridge diet for him because I know he doesn’t like me the size I am now (I’m a 14/16) with a left over baby belly (2 children later) and I haven’t been a size 8 since I was 19. I would be happy to be a size 12 (I’d be over the moon if I ever got to be a size 10 again)

Bear in mind that my OH is a mountain biking, gym going freak that has a 28 inch waist. He is incredibly supported with my diet, refuses to eat in front of me if I’m not having a shake and encourages me all the way (we went to the cinema as a treat form e loosing 1 stone in 3 weeks). Do you think it’s a tad unrealistic of him to think that I’m ever going to be a size 8 again or I am selling myself short in thinking I’ll never get that far?

Hi Hun

I think I was a 12 - could have been a 10 I don't remember tbh. I know I was arounf 9.5 stone though.

I am sort of doing it for myself as well - but he's the deciding factor really. I want to look nice for him, I want him to feel proud of me when we're walking down the street. He's never put any 'real' pressure on me to loose weight as he always says that he's happy if I'm happy. I'm not happy with my size, so I'm doing for him (does that make sense?).

You know, I doubt your bloke will really mind or even know what size you are as long as you have lost weight...he's not going to look on the labels of your clothes and if you've gone from a 16 to even a 12 or 10 (or somewhere in between) he will notice a massive change in you and I doubt he would want to squeeze more out of you!

Having said that I'd like to think you are doing this for you on some level and have an idea of what you want to be at the end...be true to yourself, and the rest should fall into place...

I can see what you mean about doing it for him. I am losing weight for me as i dont like being over weight anymore BUT I do want to be thinner for my hubby. He has never put pressure on me to lose weight and our relationship hasnt changed during my different stages of weight. HOWEVER... I want to feel like he has a reason to fancy me. ie, that i am thin and sexy! I want him to be proud of me and i think it's only natural to want to please our partners.

I agree with buxomwench - I think he will be proud of you whatever size you get to that your happy with. Men dont really have much of an idea about clothes sizes anyway. You could tell him you were an 8 even if you were a 12 and he'd probably believe you!!!

Lose weight because you want to and stop when you want to.

I really hope you manage to reach your goal weight and I really hope you do it for you...

You've given your OH 2 beautiful children which I'm sure he loves you for and that doesn't come without some battle scars so don't beat yourself up about that...

You have to keep you motivated on this diet as it's not easy.

Good luck..

When i first started to lose weight I was a size 20/22 and my then partner loved me for me ... I know he did. But like you I was not happy with my size so off i went to LL then CD and lost 4stone and went down to a size 12/14. At this point I met my current OH ........ so he's only known me at size 12/14 - and that's partly why with having put 2stone back on i want to lose it again. That and my clothes being too tight, looking better at size 12 than at size 14/16, healthier for my 3 kids, and 'cos I'm a CDC and don't want my clients thinking the diet doesn't work!

So our reasons to diet are usually complex - as to when you stop ......... when you feel right about yrself, or when yr BMI is healthy. As to whether that's when you are a size12 or 10 or 8 ............. only time and you will know!

I bet your OH doesn't really know what a size 8 looks like! They just seem to think that this is some magic figure. My hubby doesn't want me to go below a 14!

My darling husband use to joke that if he had the before and after pics before we were married he might not of married me.

Funny...I never could see the funny side of it.

Anyways this is when I was eight and half stone and he said I could do with losing more...

He did have a major problem about what I ate...

Well one day I did say to myself I would show him what fat was and I did

sadly though looking back I do think I disowned my body at that time...

Now I am doing this for me and I have claimed my life again and while it hurts when people make silly stupid hurtful remarks and have silly expetations...I am now clear on what I want.

Husband just said the other night he thought I was the same weight at ten stone as I was at 18 stone He does suffer from foot and mouth.


I am 11st. 12lbs. now and he thinks I look slim.

He was a skinny wee thing himself all his life but eventually the years caught up with him and he gained weight and he could do with it but he kept going until all his clothes were getting too small and when he tried to lose weight he found himself that it was not just a matter of keeping your mouth shut and he found it hurtful when I called him "pot bellied pig" this came about when my sister said he got a bit of a pot belly! I just embellished it a little in the retelling.

We then did WW together and he lost nicely each week, not that he went...I did go and then we worked the points and he lost with a little bit of Paul McKenna thrown in for good measure and now he is trim and slim and knows just how hard it can be to lose weight. I lost very little with WW and found it was taking for ages to shift a pound, even slow enough on SSing.

As a family we have changed how we shop and have become more aware of our health.

He does see that he was not very nice and cringes, when I remind him.

It is difficult not to be aware of the 'critical eye'.

Love Mini xxx

Hi, I think everyone gains a bit as they mature, especially after children. I remember starting a diet a couple of years after I was married because I was horrified to reach 9 stone! 12 is a great size to aim for, especially if you quote it in US sizes and tell him you're an American size 10.