Not Again!!!!!

Jackie r

Full Member
Well, with less than a stone to lose I failed miserably last night. I have a hellish virus, and just couldn't take anymore, reached for the fish, but couldn't stop. Then had chips:eek:
I didn't even enjoy it. Hubby phoned from Scotland and was so concerned that he told me not to worrry and to come off the diet if I needed too:mad:. I know he meant well and was just worried, but what I needed was a kick in the pants, not permission to eat!.
Well I didn't binge, six chips and a piece of boiled cod, but just couldn't face the packs, and then (because my muscles ached) hubby suggested I have a glass of wine and early night.
Well I did, but this morning I feel so guilty, I have let myself down big time. I am a big girl, I don't need permission to eat, I had just chosen not to for a while, now I'm back into pleasing everyone else again. I hate this part of the diet, I know I can be strong and overcome this, just need a bit of help to do so. I suppose it didn't help that my losses for the last two weeks haven't been that good, despite being very good on the diet. How stupid am I . I want to lose this last stone but don't have the oomph to do it.
To cap it all, I am off sick today and have just been phoned by work, who want to borrow a piece of my equipment and want me to DRIVE 22 miles to get it to them!!!!!
I can barely stand up let alone drive. This is ridiculous. Crazy thing is we are an Occupational Health Department!!!
I have told them that I'm not prepared to do that, wonder what will happen later.
Just felt the need to confess, and to start getting a handle on whats going on in my head again. I must be strong, be assertive, don't look for excuses. (this is going to confuse the hell out of poor old hubby).
 
You've done SO well already. Don't let 6 chips and a piece of fish make you feel like sh*t! You're much better than that! It's done - you can't change that now but you can move on without it becoming some huge thing in your head that you have to carry around with you!

I think you've done brilliantly. None of us are superhuman and we all make mistakes. The trick is to put them behind us and move on!

Deal with the other things that are more important right now - like feeling ill and your work problems.
 
I'm suffering from the 'home straight syndrome' myself Jackie. Even though I still have 2 and a half stone to go before I reach goal, I feel better than I ever have because I started off with so much to lose (12st). So over the last week or so, I've let the blinkers slip and have been looking to the left and the right instead of focusing straight ahead at my goal.

My chatterbox has reared its ugly head and I 'talked myself' into making some silly decisions. A slice of sandwich ham here, a cube of cheese there .... all rubbish choices because I didn't need the food and shouldn't be nibbling as it's only sabotaging all my great work!

It's difficult making a level headed choice when you're not feeling well so don't beat yourself up too much over this. It'll be counter-productive to slide into a negative place.

Come on Jackie - and anyone else reading this who is also on those last few weeks - LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER!! Let's dig deep and march to that flippin' finish line!
 
Thanks Gaijingirl and Russiandoll, WE WILL DO TIS TOGETHER. The home straight is always the toughest, I remember from way back in the distant past when I was a long distance runner, coming round and seeing (it was usually uphill) that finish line, digging in to get the last energy to get there, it was flippin hard, thinking about it, I actually have the exact same feeling, only when I was competeing I never gave up, or said it's not worth it, I carried on. Then I was doing it for myself aswell, what has happened since 1986? Well apart from life, kids, work, carreer, degrees, etc, etc. Rewind, get selfish and go for it. A bit of looking out for number one just this once wont hurt.
Thanks girls, new perspective, we can DO this.
 
You are not alone by any means and six chips and a piece of fish you will get over in no time at all. I ate more than that last night and put on 2 pounds this morning. I'm fine with it though I know I can get back on track today. I have around stone and a half to lose and last week despite being so good all week and in ketosis every day I only lost 1 pound. I don't think I'll do any worse this week, if I just jump back on and I'll have had a well deserved treat. I am just pleased I didn't binge. What I ate was thought through and enjoyed so I feel fine about it. Hope you can too, I don't think the amount you ate is hardly a blip at all as long as it doesn't become a regular thing.

Hope you feel better soon!
 
I don't think you should beat yourself up about it. Today is a new day so forget about it and move on. It's horrible when you feel poorly and work asking you to drive 22 to bring something in I hope you said no. Well i have also messed around for the last few weeks i hit 15 st 13.5 lb on 31 July and still in the 15s at 15 st 5 lb. So I need the kick too. We can all do this.

Come on Jackie you can do this. It's a new day today
Irene xx
 
What an honest posting.

Whenever I "confess" to my OH after an overeating episode, I felt almost relief... even recently, when I stupidly decided to polish off the contents of the biscuit tin then fill it up again so that he didn't notice(!), when I told him he just looked at me in total confusion!

I'm not sure whether you're on a VLCD and, if so, you probably have a proper "maintenance" programme to follow... but, if not, here is how I cope with these feelings of guilt.

When I first got to target, I would occasionally stray from the straight and narrow and feel terribly guilty. Those feelings of guilt would then lead me to think "what the hell, I've blown it today, I might as well continue". You didn't do this. Well done you.

Now, three years after losing my weight, I now plan treats. I know, say, on a Sunday I'm able to eat [whatever], so I sit down and eat [whatever] properly, savouring each mouthful, and suffer no guilt. It was planned, see?

Not sure whether this will help at all but I guess I'm trying to say (i) well done for not going totally off the rails, (ii) well done for speaking up this morning, and (iii) if, occasionally, you want to eat [whatever], perhaps try as I suggest and ENJOY it.
 
A huge well done for your fantastic achievment maintainer!!!

You deserve a round of applause for not only losing the weight but keeping it off! You're an inspiration!!

 
Don't burden yourself with guilt. They say that sometimes it's 2 steps forward and one back. I absolutely hate that saying.

Think 'one back and two forward'. It's a much more positive way to view it.

Think of all the times you didn't cheat when you could have. Be proud of yourself. Move on from your blip you're doing grand:)
 
Thanks maintainer, and what an acheivement. I'll bear what you said in mind. I am on a vlcd but am still a stone from goal. I always do this at this stage, I think its because I am happy with my size and a bit frightened of getting to goal. Weird isn't it. But when I was lighter, I tended to be the life and soul of the party, very outgoing and always surrounded by people, and very insecure.
The years have taken there toll and I am now much more likely to be found in a group of very close friends, or with my family or on my own reading a book.
It's a long story, but it began in 1994, when I was let down badly by a good friend, as a result I find it hard to trust people with my feelings, and rather than talk I would head for the cupboard. since then I have struggled with my weight, and in social situations. At work I am fine, I play a role it's easy, at home I'm mum, confidant and general dogsbody, easy, but socially I am not sure of who I am. Those I work with have a totally different idea of my persona to those I care about. Not at all sure of who I really am. This is very deep for this time of day. I have a sneaky suspicion that I have been carrying a lot of junk for a long time. Got to work on this. Goodness, I think I have just identified the reason I overeat, and why I keep sabotaging myself. I DIDN'T LIKE the former SLIM ME!!!!! Deep down I am worried that if my body becomes slim, then my personality will somehow change, and I will go back to the person that I was insecure, frightened and confused. HOW STUPID. I wont change, I am me and deep down I like me. Must get this weird thinking out of my psychae. I am officially NUTS!!!!!!!
 
Glad you are thinking this whole thing through. I do it all the time I think it really important to understand ourselves and be understanding of ourselves as much as possible. I am sitting here feeling sick from eating several funsize twix (don't know how many). I did not plan that, or enjoy it and only stopped when I felt sick. This isn't comfort eating it is self harming, I know I do it but I have still a long way to work out how to control this once and for all. I have been getting mixed messages diet wise and have been a little confused which has made me less strong (I am generally very disciplined with the CD but this home straight is proving really difficult. Need to make this another new start and the time to incorporate exercise. I am annoyed with myself but must carry on like you thinking it through and understanding so that I can move on to the next stage.

So glad you are still using the forum this week!

Thanks for listening.
 
Thanks Dizzy, just couldn't stay away, been off with a virus, and got bored, popped on here and knew I had to confess, then Maintainers post got me thinking, that and the counsellor saying externalise, write things down, then Mini's great words of wisdom and now I really think I have a handle on why I keep co*king up the home stretch. I need to conquer my fears. I must admit I was surprised that I got out of the stuff until I am sick phase this time around. But am not sure that it is because I have it under control (says very quietly unless cravings hear) or because I have nothing to binge on!!! Will have to work that one out.
Haven't any advice on how to avoid it other than not keeping things in the house. (I force my poor children to eat their one bar of chocolate a week outside in the rain!!!!) Don't really, but they have stopped eating things like that in front of me. I think all we can do is to admit we have failed, seek support from here and together we can acheive our goals.
Hope that helps

jackie
 
Jackie R - you have now hit the nail on the head re how it can be scarey to near target weight...

I definitely "suffered" from that too, and did my best to sabotage my efforts if I look back now.

As a large person, I blended into the background nicely, was never the centre of attention, and often kept quiet if out in groups.

I'm definitely more outspoken now than before... but there definitely is something in what you say about almost being scared to "get there". I do remember waking the day after I reached target with a strange feeling in my tum and wondering: "what now?"!

With the help and support of this board, though, I'm sure you'll get through this blip, and turn your attention to getting to the weight you'd like to be.

Being slim has definitely changed my life. I'm now more confident, more outspoken (not necessarily a good thing, hee hee!), and love getting up and facing an entire wardrobe of clothes which fit me as opposed to the odd "tent" which merely covered me!
 
Thanks Maintainer, wow! like a lightbulb moment!!I was supposed to get that virus and be ill, so that I came on here and read your response!! KARMA, KISMET or DIVINE INTERVENTION!!!
But yep I have identified the reason, now with help support and (no doubt a few tears) I will get back on track and move forward. I am doing this for myself, I do want to be slim, but I want to keep ME at the same time. I LIKE ME!!!!
Also I want to surprise wonderful hubby when he comes home in three weeks!!! How he puts up with me I never know, neurotic wife!!!
 
I'm nearly at my goal but have been only losing about a 1lb a week due to hiccups of eating out, chocolate, biscuits... Yes, I know it was wrong but I found this diet so much easier in the Summer when drinking large volumes of water was easier. Now it's colder I want to curl up with hot tea(+ Biscuit!) rather than sweet flavourings; although veg flavour is fine but not all day.
I want to be at goal but I'm finding it hard to get there. It should be the final sprint but sadly mine is uphill!
 
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