Vegeterian, vegan, crazy and on the way to a perfect dancing body!

Butterfly91

New Member
First I want to say Hi to everyone out there and how happy I am that I've found this forum!

Then I come to the part I don't like that much: Presenting myself.
It is not that I don't like talking about myself or so, but everytime I have to, I don't know where to start and where to end. So I'm going to try my best not to talk to much and not to talk too little. If you have any questions after my presentation, feel free to ask :)

First, the basic data: I am female, 22 years old and from germany. I am studying German (semester 6) and Protestant theology (semester 3) and in the remaining time I am working as a cashier (2-3 days per week). I live in a house, together with my grandparents, my mother and all my pets. It is very nice most of the time, but not easy.
My grandparents have incipient Alzheimers and I have to care for them, even if they are sometimes really annoying.
My mother is living with us 3-4 days per week and over the weekend she stays at her fiancés house. So at the weekend I am mostly alone in our flat (second floor) and my grandparents are in their flat (first floor). Beside the days, when my mothers fiancé is staying at our place. I like to be alone at weekend, so I can do whatever I want. But I like it, too, when my mum and her fiancé are staying at our place, because he is for me like a father and I like him a lot!
But there are so much problems in this situation, too.
I have a little sister who is suffering from multiple sclerosis since 4 years. And two weeks ago, my mother was diagnosed with it, too.
My stepfather has a problem with his heart and my grandma has had two strokes.
So I love my studies, I love my job and I love my family, but the last month have been hard for me.
I really don't want to have a moan but I need to talk about this.
I am suffering from borderline personality disorder and self harm since nearly ten years now. I had two psychotherapies and have made great progress. But since three month I am suffering from depression and now I am in therapy again, which is really, really helpful for me!!
Together with my therapist I am working on stabilizing my life, my behaviours and my surrounding.
Therefore I first had to recognize, how many lovely and helpful people I have around me. I got to know that I have some real great friends and the best colleagues one can have. So now there are around ten people who know about my problems and who are there for me, day and night! I love them so much!
After this step, I was told to make goals in life and to get some routine.
My first goal is something I dreamed of for years: I want to become a dancer. I want to compete in ballroom dance. I have had two dancing classes (one with 15 and one with 20) and now I am starting my third one, together with my older brother. Hopefully, we will have our first competition in a few months :)
And the second goal, which will hopefully give me some routine, is why I am here: I want to do sports more often and regularly and lose a few kilograms, too. Because of my depression and the stress I had during the last months, I have disregarded my body, my weight and my fitness. I ate too much junk food and sweets and haven't done any sports.
The plan is to go back to a structured and healthy nutrition (I am a vegetarian and trying to life as much vegan as I am able to!) and to a fitness routine!
I hope that I will find much support here and maybe even new friends :)

If there are now any questions please just ask!
I am looking forward to your comments and I am just happy to be here! :)
 
Hi Butterfly91,

welcome to the forum. I can identify with much of what you say about family problems although my family situation is different. As are all families of course. In my family we have a lot of autism and depression, my husband has unidentified autism as does my brother and it has caused them to both suffer with depression as being unrecognised they did not get the help they could have done with growing up.

My son has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome which is a form of high functioniong autism and it was through his diagnosis we recognised it in other family members. He has had two long inpatient sessions, of several months each time and I do very much see the benefit of therapy. I have regular counselling sessions myself now. So I am very glad your own therapy is going well.

If you want any support for your progression into veganism, do ask me and I will give you any help I can. Germany seems a very good country to be vegan in. Is that so in your area?

I would think that dancing will help with your fitness, can your instructors give guidance as to what would complement what you do in class?

Best wishes,

Micci X
 
Hi Micci,

thank you very, very much for your lovely answer!
I am sorry to hear that you have so much health issues in your family, too. But it is also helpful for me to hear that there are people out there who have to fight similar fights and who are able to cope with it!! This gives me so much hope!

You are right, in Germany it is not very difficult to live as vegeterian or vegan. But in my family I am the only one who doesn't eat meat so I have to care for myself. I am a vegeterian since three years now and I tried to be vegan two times. The first time it lasted 5 weeks and the second time 4 weeks. I have the feeling that it isn't that hard, which is why I don't drink milk, I don't eat butter and I don't eat eggs. But there are two things weaking me every time: Cheese and sweets. Even after five weeks of living vegan I would murder for milk chocolate, chocolate cake, pizza scolloped with cheese, mozzarella and so on. I have tried many alternatives like dark chocolate, chocolate with rice milk, fake cheese,... But nothing can allay my appetite for these things :(
Do you have any tricks or idea how to handle this "addiction"?

Best wishes,
Butterfly
 
Hi Butterfly :)

I am amazed that you were a vegetarian from the age of 3! Having parents who so respected your choices at such a young age is quite rare, I believe.

Regarding a dairy addiction, it is true that there is a substance allied to opium in cow's milk , that does make it addictive, I've put in a link for you.

Addicted to Cheese and Ice Cream? The Opiate Qualities of Dairy

The only reassurance I can give you is that once you have got over the addiction cheese no longer tastes good, neither does milk chocolate. For me, giving up cheese was the stumbling block that stopped me from being properly vegan for years. Now though, after not having had dairy for a long time, when I accidentally had a bit of my daughter's pasta sauce with cows milk cheese in it it tasted sour and horrible.

The only thing to do is to think about the cruelty you are saving the calves and their mothers from, and find nice things that you can eat with a clear conscience. There are some great recipes here, including some cheese substitutes. The Gentle Chef

I hope you are managing to look after yourself, and do things that you enjoy still, I cannot imagine how stressful your family life must be at the moment.

Micci X
 
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