First time I've asked for this.........

Hi everyone

As of last week I have been SS'ing for 6 months and have lost 6 and a half stone to date. Until Christmas I didn't eat ANYTHING apart from my packs and then I had a few days off over Christmas (which I had promised myself before I started the diet) and the day after boxing day I went straight back on the pack - not a problem. The whole of January however has been pretty bad so far as SS'ing is concerned.
I've never been a binge eater and nothing has changed - I haven't binged and I haven't picked at food - its just been plain grilled chicken, grilled mushrooms, cottage cheese and pickled red cabbage - weird combination I know but oddly nice! Its been when I'm on my way home from work and I've thought about it in the car and even go so far as going into the supermarket and buying the food, the more I think about it the more I convince myself 'its alright'. Last Friday though on my way home from my CDC I went mad and bought fish and chips - despite the fact I'd just had a 5lb loss at my weigh in, I was upset (non-diet related) and even though I knew it wouldn't make me feel better - I convinced myself it would. It obviously didn't and they made me feel ill and I thought that would be the end of it and now SS'ing wouldn't be a problem. Saturday night however saw me ordering in Pizza (which sadly didn't make me feel ill) and I just don't know why I'm self-sabotaging like this. The pizza incident came after I spent the afternoon with a really good friend of mine who I haven't seen in person since a few weeks before Christmas and he went on all afternoon about how fantastic I'm looking - so why did I then go home and feel the need to eat.
Yesterday several people during the day at work commented on how great I look and that I look ridiculously healthy and how well I'm doing -so I went to Sainsbury's on the way home and bought chicken, mushrooms and cottage cheese which I've also eaten tonight as well.
Whats the matter with me? Why can't I just get on with the SS'ing like I've been doing for months before now? I have never had a weigh in since I started LL/CD where I've put weight on but I'm pretty sure tomorrow's WI will be my first gain although only 1 or 2lbs at most (fingers crossed)
The worst thing is everyone around me, family, friends etc keep on telling me how well I'm doing, how amazing my will power is and how they don't know how I do it - yet secretly (I live on my own) I feel like I'm failing but don't know how to turn it around.
I always have my 3 packs and 5/6 litres of waters but these food 'blips' are getting me down.
I come on Minimins pretty much everyday but this is the first time where I actually feel the need to ask for help. My CDC although lovely and bless him he tries, is not much use and is struggling on CD himself (far more than me I get the impression) so I don't really feel he would be any help sadly.

Maybe I just need a good kick up the arse? I've still got another 3 and a bit stone to get to goal and I just know I'll always regret it if i don't get there - I'm currently the smallest I've been since the age of 13/14 (I think!) so any smaller than this is unchartered territory - I wore a size 12 skirt to work today - 6 months ago I was wearing size 24 jeans and they were on the tight side - I'm just struggling with my perspective at the moment I think.

Sorry for this somewhat epic post - I'm hoping it'll make me feel better:sigh:

MM x

Hi MM

I think the answer is simple, the solution however, is a little more difficult. You aren't the same person you were when you started the diet, you look better and feel better and everyone is telling you so. Whilst this is of course wonderful it can actually cause a drop in motivation as you feel so much more positive than you did. As for getting back on track that is tricky, all I can suggest is that you take some time to acknowledge what you have achieved and feel good about it but also to think about what your ultimate goal was and what a huge sense of achievement it will be when you get there.

Sorry I can't be of more help hun.

Gxx

I really don't know what to say. I wish i did and i hope that you do get some helpful advice here x

You could be the slimmest you have been since 13-14....

Hmm sometimes when you have been overweight for such a long time you think of yourself as fat. Your whole identity is "fat". Suddenly you aren't fat anymore. That is a big thing to cope with. You think of yourself as fat and you act like a fat person. Your brain is just trying to make you the same as what it thinks you are.

That's not to say you can't change but you need to start thinking of yourself slim. Paul McKenna I can make you thin is a good thing as it gets you thinking of yourself as slim.

Also are you hungry when you are breaking the diet? What are you thinking when you do it? You say you have been upset about other things. Are you trying to self medicate with food when you are upset? When this next happens try to stop. Identify what is going through your head. Ask yourself if food will help with whatever is making you upset. Think what WILL help. You had the pizza when you weren't upset as your friend had been saying how good you look. Did you use it as a reward? Again pay attention to your thoughts so you can see what is driving the eating.

You might have used food to cope with difficult feelings all your life so it will take time to try other strategies.

Good luck - keep us posted.

hi missy, I dont really know what to say either but one of the things that struck me about your post was its like you want to eat after work like after youve gotton loads of compliments that you think its ok to have chips etc what do you think? Sorry I cant be of much help. I hope you feel better soon. Well done on your amazing loss i have at least 10stone to lose!

take care
becky

sorry i should of put that better, you look ok now and know that and think you can go back eating again if that makes sence?

Maybe a part of you thinks, "Ok, done it. I am slim (slimmest i have been since 13/14) " People are commenting so perhaps you think "Job done"

i think i am saying something a bit like becky. Compliments = slim = diet over.

Thanks everyone - I'm feeling a bit more positive today and am determined to get back to 100% abstinence - I've done it before and I know I can do it again - it just might involve a bit more gritting of my teeth this time! I think the point made of compliments = slim = diet over is probably spot on and psychologically I know I've got loads of identity issues at the moment that friends/family probably don't realise about - I'm just not sure who I am any more or more to the point who I want to be. This isn't something I even considered at the start of this journey yet is more of a problem than I anticipated and is one I don't even know how to begin to solve (the weight thing is easier to solve in a way)
Dancing you're right about looking at the reasons for my final goal , mine was chosen on the basis that its exactly 50% of my starting weight and well within the 'healthy' range BMI wise and one my doctor agreed would be an ideal weight. Maybe I would be just as happy at a higher than 25 BMI, I think I'll just have to wait and see when I get a bit nearer.
Strangely though my overall goal was really never about weight or appearance (ok, maybe partly about appearance) - it was about men and the eternal lack off them in my life!

MM x

Musical Missy said:

Dancing you're right about looking at the reasons for my final goal , mine was chosen on the basis that its exactly 50% of my starting weight and well within the 'healthy' range BMI wise and one my doctor agreed would be an ideal weight. Maybe I would be just as happy at a higher than 25 BMI, I think I'll just have to wait and see when I get a bit nearer.
Strangely though my overall goal was really never about weight or appearance (ok, maybe partly about appearance) - it was about men and the eternal lack off them in my life!

MM x

Click to expand...

It's a bit worrying that your doctor has agreed an ideal weight for you that sounds like it is over a BMI of 25 (which is considered overweight). You've obviously lost a lot of weight so no wonder you are confused now as it isn't easy to get you head around getting slim so quickly. I look in mirrors in shops and can't get my head around how slim I am and others around me don't seem to understand that I don't see myself like that (I reckon they think I'm fishing for compliments).

So, what is your plan for meeting eligible men then? You had a plan to follow to lose weight so it sounds like you need to plan the best way to meet a good man. Taken up any new hobbies? Night school?

If you can be dedicated enough to lose so much weight then it won't take you long to find the right guy.

Good luck with everything!

Sweetpea said:

It's a bit worrying that your doctor has agreed an ideal weight for you that sounds like it is over a BMI of 25 (which is considered overweight). You've obviously lost a lot of weight so no wonder you are confused now as it isn't easy to get you head around getting slim so quickly. I look in mirrors in shops and can't get my head around how slim I am and others around me don't seem to understand that I don't see myself like that (I reckon they think I'm fishing for compliments).

So, what is your plan for meeting eligible men then? You had a plan to follow to lose weight so it sounds like you need to plan the best way to meet a good man. Taken up any new hobbies? Night school?

If you can be dedicated enough to lose so much weight then it won't take you long to find the right guy.

Good luck with everything!

Click to expand...

My BMI was also decided on by a Doctor - a Consultant Orthopaedic Surgeon and is over 25.

I have a large skeletal frame, which he measured and said that a BMI of 25 would be too low for me.

So there is nothing worrying about it!

Thanks Sweetpea! Sorry if I was confusing in my last post - my final goal (as per my ticker) is a BMI of 23 - this is the one my doctor is happy with!
As for ways to meet men - god only knows! I don't meet 'em through work or friends - I'm thinking speed dating and internet dating will soon be calling......think I'd be the worlds worst date at the moment though - no drinking or eating, thats gotta narrow down date options!

MM x

Just to add to the BMI debate. The 'diet doctors' said on last weeks show that a BMI of 27 was perfectly acceptable for the women on the show who was 37. She also had a large frame and had quite a lot of muscle. My chemist says he doesn't like the BMI scale as he has weighted very fit, people who have a lot of muscle and yet they are officially obese...... which he said was rubbish, because he measured their fat with this gizmo he has and they had no 'extra' body fat at all.

Like previously mentioned its a guide only.

Well said Shaz - body fat is more important because as you say, if you have a lot of muscle your BMI will be higher...
Anyway Missy IMHO what is happening here is that you are entering uncharted waters for you and you are quite understandably (subconsciously) scared! You havent been lighter than this ever in your adult life - so you don't know what life is going to be like as a slim woman! Of course that's scary.... so part of you wants to put on the brakes and stop right here before you go any further. Maybe understanding that is half the battle? What do you reckon?
I think there are several threads on here about that kind of thing, if you have a scout around.
Good luck with the rest of your campaign.

I know exactly how you feel, I lost 5 1/2 stone with WW and still had about 1 1/2 stone to go before reaching my target. Friends and Family began to make comments like "your getting to thin, you have a big bone structure", "you look fine the way you are", "you don't need to lose anymore weight" etc etc etc. Gradually I slipped off my diet and stopped going to weigh ins. Now almost two years later I've started CD with nearly 4 stone back on again.

Just put January behind you, today is 1st Feb so start afresh!

Good Luck 4 the WI.

Susan x