A fresh start...after a terrible 5 day lapse

OK I am skulking back to Mini's this morning after a really bad lapse. After getting back on the SS wagon last week and doing really well I made the mistake of weighing myself at Boots to see how I had done that week as I see my counsellor fortnightly but like to know roughly where I am at - I had gained weight! It was only half a pound but I was so despondant as normally I would have dropped 4 or 5 pounds and I had been good all week. In hindsight it was probably water retention as I am still having massive hormone related problems but I allowed my chatterbox to take over and went a bit crazy. I am so disappointed as I almost definately won't make any of my targets for next weigh in and it is also extremely unlikely that I will fit into my party dress in 3 weeks.

I am only realistically on SS for another 12 days before I start moving up the plans - why on earth can't I find the willpower to stick to it? Managed 5 months no probs but these last few weeks feel so hard. MY CDC suggested moving up the plans a bit early if I am really struggling with SS but it's really important to me to prove to myself that I can do these last few days until I begin AAM on 3rd Dec then move up to 790. It sounds silly but I think part of me is terrified of being less than 11 stone for the first time in my life and having to maintain that - other people's expectations and pressures worry me a lot even though it's my weight and I have accepted it is likely I will fluctuate for a few months while I find out what portions and activity level will maintain me where I want to be. I have already seen how people react over minor blips, they forget your success so far and focus on the negative. Part of me however is just finding excuses and taking the easy option by eating and never acheiving my goal - few people expect me to get there so my chatterbox is telling me I may as well give up now.

But although I am disappointed in myself for the lapse I am going to move past it now and work on this day by day and prove I can last the distance and that minor blips won't matter when I am slim and healthy.

Sorry - needed to get all that out, it's a kind of therapy getting things written down for me, working out why I am sabotaging my own success etc. Ta for listening!

Here's to a positive diet day whatever plan you are on!
Kerrie x

Hi kerry
I am kinda near you on weight being 11.4 when weighed on mon - however I was starting to get a little dispondant on ss and the plan i am on (weight-matters) encourages you to AAm from day one if you WANT TO. I decided monday to start AAM even though i have over a stone to get to target. It was brilliant!! just to be able to eat without guilt was fab. I just had boiled cabbage cooked in chili powder and bouillion and quorn mince (40z is quite a lot) and put it in a cereal bowl DIVINE!! last night i had a variaton on the theme - but felt amazingly full (obviously my stomach has shrunk!!) I has my shakes for break, lunch and tea and them my aam at 7:30 and went to bed with a lovely warm glow!! am i sad?? any way on the scales i am showing a 2 and a half pound loss since monday so can't be doing me any harm!!

why not give it a try???

Hi Debbie,

I think that's a good idea but I just want to prove to myself that I can SS again even for a few days. I do plan to keep some AAM stuff handy though so that if I am feeling low or weak I can have that rather than start off another binge. Just 12 days to get thru!
Kerrie x

I'm with you there!
I did LL from last September to this March but couldn't afford to continue. I managed to maintain my weight for 6 months (it IS possible, and wasn't as hard as I was worried about, after a couple of months you stop thinking about it and it's still OK) but am now shifting the last bit to get to the weight I've always wanted to be (which I've actually just revised coz I think my original target will be a little too low for my height).
It seems to get tougher, I know exactly what you mean about your chatterbox: one side of my brain is telling me 'you've done so well, you look so much better, you've earned a break blah blah blah' while the other is going 'you're nearly there, you know you can do it, not far to go' and I'm stuck in the middle staring at cookies wondering how much time they'll add to me reaching goal and SERIOUSLY trying to figure out if it's worth it (lately, my good side is winning).
It helps to keep reminding yourself that it's no different now to what it was before (even though sometimes it feels like it): day by day, pack by pack, litre by litre and the time will fly by!
Good luck!

Hi kerrie

Sorry to hear youve had a fall from the wagon - you were doing so well there, but do you know what, you are only human.

For what its worth, I think you are doing the right thing by trying to get back onto SS, even if it is only for a week or so, just to prove to yourself that you are in control. Having said that, if you really cant get back onto SS then you are not a failure, just try to stick to aam foods instead of grabbing whatever is in sight.

You can still get into your party frock if you get straight back to the diet and keep glugging the water. Youve achieved so much in such a short time, that another few weeks is nothing really.

Good luck.

yep the bottomline is we are all different and emptionally how we handle things can change day by day week by week. if you can get back on the ss wagon then so be it but if your gonna end up having a major 5 day binge then perhaps its better to keep things in perspective and have a bit of (safe)food if you need it i read a thread earlier this week and someone ad swapped from ss to 790 (which imstarting next week) and it was only making a pound difference to her weight loss anyway. is you need that comlete abstinence to keep focussed that GREAT but this shouldnt be about torturing yourself either the different plans are there so use them if you need them!! AND NO GUILT!!

i got no real comment to make cos i dont know enough but just want ed to say OMG look at the amount you have lost .... that really is excllent and you should be so chuffed . am guessing wt loss is harder the nearer you get to target . i couldnt sole source for more than 10 days as you can see by tracker !!!! i wish i had your will power, you will break the 11 stone mark so dont give up then end is in sight for you .