How to do a weekend away on RTM??

Hi, sorry to ask another question but I have realised I have hit a major issue with my whole weight problem and I am wondering how to deal with it.

Firstly I have been annoyingly focussed on my whole journey so far. This has led me to realise that as long as I have extremely clear, and not too wide boundaries, I can stick to the rules and even enjoy them. I have made them work for me.

Now, I am in Week 6 of management. Still sticking to the rules. BUT I have arranged a weekend away for my OH and me, and our two best friends, to celebrate 25 years of being asked to go out with my now OH. It was his best friend who did the asking as he was too shy after I literally ran away from him as fast as I could the first time he tried to kiss me!

So we are going to a posh hotel, two nights dinner, bed and breakfast.

It is something I have dreamed of doing for years and in my dreams I was always thin - the irony of it all now he finds me too thin!!

Anyway, how do I approach the weekend food wise. I have been mulling it over for weeks and asked my LLC. She said I should just go and enjoy it as it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and that is the advice she always gives for such occaisions.

However, that has left me feeling uncomfortable. I have been thinking hard about why and I think it is because I find it extremely hard to make decisions. I have driven everyone in our house crazy over my kitchen deliberations recently, every five minutes I change my mind, I ask everyone what they think and then drive myself in knots because they all have different opinions over style, colour etc.

I have just realised that is what I am doing here right now, I want someone to come along and give me the definitive answer. Oh, I think I have just got it, I do see everything in black and white, I must think that 'someone' has the correct answer, the 'black' answer, whereas really there are a lot of shades of grey in the variation between the extremes.

I am going to have to learn to make decisions for myself - that sounds like I need to grow up!!

Anyway, my thoughts are that I will try to stick to the current foodlists as closely as possible, no bread and butter, even though that is the part I look forward to the most at hotels. I can have breakfast - bacon, egg, mushrooms and tomatoes even yogurt and fruit although that sounds like a lot. Two food packs throughout the day if I need them and then an evening meal.

I will try and choose what I think are the options closest to the foodlists and indulge myself by having a starter, main course and some of the healthiest dessert, but not just fruit salad. And I will try and leave some of each course, my aim will be to end the meal not stuffed but comfortably full.

I will try not to see the food as a reward, I will buy myself some new clothes and make-up on Thursday, and see dressing up in them as a reward. Oooo maybe a new necklace as well. Primark watch out!

I know I don't have to worry about putting on weight, that is not the bit that scares me, it is the mindset thing, I don't want to lose the plot and revert back. I suppose it will be my first real test as I haven't allowed myself to operate outside the rulebook.

Best wishes

Claire

Sounds like you have your head screwed on to me. I would say that you sound like you have got the weekend food wise sorted and I love the idea of the clothes and accessories being your treat. Have a great weekend, you deserve it!!

Hi Claire

I think you have it in one. You need to agree with yourself all encompassing guidelines for the period of time that you are away. A list of Do's and Don'ts just like the programme but set by yourself.

for example:
1. NO bread and butter
2. Yes to starters and deserts
3. Do leave some food on your plate
4. Don't overstuff yourself at meals - remember it is not the last meal you will have

I think if you have an agreement with yourself, very clearly set out in your mind, you will sail through the weekend and still enjoy yourself without feeling guilty on your return.

The overriding feeling I got from your post is that you as yet, still do not trust yourself with food. (I am so guilty of this sometimes) - I think this is a golden opportunity to realise that you CAN trust yourself.

Hope you have a wonderful time - it sounds very romantic
Laura

Hi Claire,

just enjoy it, you know deep down what to eat, and dont beat yourself up panicking each time you eat.

One word of warning, be very careful alcohol wise, if you havent had much since management, you will feel very tipsy drunk quickly, and you dont want to spoil the special weekend.

sun xxxxxx

Dear Claire

We went away to a swanky hotel for our anniversary and I was in the early days of RtM. I ate my own food in the room (for dinner), which worked for me but I ate breakfast the next day in the dining room and that did not work for me.http://www.minimins.com/images/smilies/sigh.gif

I want to say several things, which I hope will help.

My LLC says that the LighterLife journey is all about us learning to access our adult self. Up until now, each one of us - you, me and everyone else (or nearly everyone else) - has been eating for any reason other than genuine stomach/physical hunger. http://www.minimins.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gifWhen we make food choices that are not about physical hunger, chances are we are not in our adult state.

This might be a golden opportunity for you to access your adult state for a whole weekend (particularly around food) and see how you feel. It will be scary/exciting - it will be different - but it may just be the missing piece of the jigsaw.http://www.minimins.com/images/icons/icon14.gif

Second, if the food involves any sort of buffet, stick to having one plate of food and that's it. I managed to eat a lot of toast because the bread basket kept coming (well, I kept ordering another rack of toast - NOT good). Or, if you don't feel you can trust yourself, ask your other half to get a plate of what you want and get him to bring it to you at the table.

Third - one or two meals will not make you fall apart/make you put on weight. It's how you respond, afterwards, that is critical. If you have a drink, as others have said, be careful. For me, alcohol just starts the engine of a runaway train as far as food is concerned. I lose all inhibitions - as I documented for my birthday. It's like a licence to eat.http://www.minimins.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif

And finally, this may also be a chance for you to show the POSITIVE side to your husband of your LighterLife journey. By just quietly making good food choices and NOT making food an issue, I hope he will begin to see what an amazing journey you have been on. I also think if YOU feel confident, that will give him positive messages.

Oh, and really, really, finally...when eating out/eating with others over more formal meal, it is really easy to stop noticing the food; you get carried away in conversation and before you know it, your plate is clear.

You've come so far, don't let a few deviations ruin it for you. I obsessed about a biscuit I ate but, in the great scheme of things, it wasn't such a big deal and I should have lightened up!

I hope you manage to have a lovely time away; a quarter of a century is a fantastic achievement!!!

Take care.

Mrs Lxxx

PS are you a Libran by any chance? We hate making decisions!!http://www.minimins.com/images/smilies/biggrin.gif