Not very pleased with myself!

hpops

Member
Hi

I've been ssing for 4 months and followed it to the dot - not a scrap of anything has passed my lips - I've lost about 3 and a half stone and in spite of hitting my target and then wanting to loose more - and then hitting my new target and then wanting to loose more... I am still not at a weight I am happy with. I am 5 ft 1 and currently weigh 10 stone - I think I'd like to get down to 9 and a half minimum - maybe even 9.

That's the background - here's why I'm not very pleased with myself!! I have the willpower of an OX - if I say I'm going to do something I get my head down and I motor on with it - SS - although hard at times was a blessing for me as it fit in with my willpower and worked fantastically. The trouble started when I went on holiday and had a "week off" I started with the intention of being good - but I was very concious that I might be causing a fuss at meal times "we went on hols with in laws" so I decided to have a week off and eat whatever. Since then I seem to have opened up the floodgates to binge eating (something I have never reallydone before really) and of course it's always chocolate and cakes etc. I'm completely mortified with myself as I pride myself on having cast iron will power and to an extent I do - if I said to myself today - right it's back on SS - I would once again do it without faultering and have done - but then I have a bad day, or like at the moment I have a cold and say to myself I deserve a treat and "have a naughty day" as I have begun to call it.

I read an article by Icemoose yesterday about SS being the easy part of the diet and te life changing bit being the hard bit - and I guess that's where I am at the moment - I guess I'm questioning whether I can do it.

It seems to be an all or nothing - I can eat nothing - but if I eat something, then the bad stuff will find a way of creeping in and I'll find a way of telling myself it's alright!

This is coupled witht he fact that in spite of loosing 3 stone - I still don't feel slim - or particularly good about my body - true I'm not disgusted by it anymore - but I don't feel proud mf what I have acheived - I know I should, but I don't.

I'm really hoping Icemoose will respond to this post as I have found reading his posts in the past soooo much help and I think the stage I'm at is very similar to what I read in his article - I'd like to know how he dealt with it. I can't work out how to PM though!!!

Well thanks for reading - I appreciate it - sorry for rambling!! :wave_cry:
 
I'm totally with you... I did LL last year and managed 6 weeks of not eating a thing. Then I went to the cinema with my daughter and she offered me a sweet which I ate without even thinking. That was it then.. Things started creeping in and the more annoyed I got with myself, the more I ate!! I managed 3 stone in 9 weeks but after that it all went to pot. Then I told myself I couldn't afford it and it wasn't good for me etc etc... Needless to say, almost 2 years later I'm fatter than ever!! (5'6" and 18st 10Ibs).

I don't really have a huge amount of advice for you - just wanted you to know I've been there, done that, and I'm really hoping to kick the habit now. I'm only on day 2 this time around but I'm feeling determined at the moment!!

What I've found is putting myself under pressure is a sure way to fail, so I'm trying to take it easy and IF I end up "cheating" I'll try not to beat myself up about it.

Hope you're feeling better

xxx
 
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