Total Solution Self Sabbotage - Feeling really low

I don't post a lot here. I track my weigh ins and that's about it. I do however spend hours every week reading this forum and gaining advice. Your advice and support is always invaluable.

I've really messed up. I lost 29.5 lbs in 6 weeks and was 100% TS the whole time. I suffer from severe depression but since starting Exante I've been feeling a lot better and dealing with things in a better way. On Thursday some really bad stuff happened. I thought I was equipped and strong enough to deal with it. I wasn't. I began a binge which lasted until Sunday evening. I felt really ill - not surprising considering I ate pizza, chips, chocolate, crisps etc plus had a skinful of booze. I don't even drink. I put on 8 lbs.

This is day 2 of getting back on the wagon and I feel Sh&%. I'm seriously low. I don't know how long I can do this for. I need some advice on what to do :-(

oh hun you have done so well. trust me we all do this at some point (I have today) and I know I will feel just like you at the end of it. pick your self up understand why you did it and draw a line under it and see it as a new start. you CAN do this you just need to get your head together.xx

(((((((hugs)))))) don't be so hard on yourself, you have done really well and to do so while depressed is just fantastic! The 8 lbs will soon be a thing of the past as you get back into it don't give up!

After seeing your weight loss over 6 weeks, the 8lb gain should be gone before very long. Well done on getting back on that wagon - that's most of the battle won already. Keep at it, we'll all get there! xx

The binges are something that, if you have done them your whole life, will probably continue to happen now and then. Even AFTER you lose all the excess weight. You will probably find yourself at some point, at goal weight, but dealing with a binge just like you described. Habits like that don't generally just vanish. It's something you will need to plan for. Now that it's happened, the answer to "what should I do?" is the same as it will be months down the line when this happens again. The answer is, stop the binge as soon as possible and don't use it as an excuse to keep bingeing. Pick up the diet where you left off (no, you are not 'starting over', you are continuing your journey). 8 pounds is hardly anything and a lot of that will probably be water, because it sounds like you ate a ton of sodium. Get back on Exante and accept that it will be a bit unpleasant to do so. You won't feel like 'depriving yourself' when life is hard anyway. But try to realize... you aren't depriving yourself. You are making this choice to lose weight. Comforting yourself with food is something you have probably done for years. i know I have. Un-learning that process doesn't happen overnight or even in a few weeks. Each time you lose control and binge, over the next year, just practice making the binge shorter and less severe. The most important thing is to STOP the binge and don't let it roll over into a full-on giving up and giving yourself license to eat anything you want for the next however-long. You have only gained 8 pounds and have come straight here for help. Great!! Now you can continue your weight loss journey.

When we feel the lowest, that is when we feel we have no willpower left for anything like dieting. That is when we comfort ourselves the way we understand... with food. It takes a lot of practice to stop doing that. What has just happened to you, is inevitable in the process of recovery. An alcoholic would call it a relapse, but then if they are in AA, they would be expected to call their sponsor straight away and get back on the program.

So, get back on the program and give yourself a pat on the back for asking for help. A lot of us on here struggle with binges and food issues. We are all on a journey of healing. You are still on that journey and we are here with you.

I agree with TXGardenia - don't give it any more thought or attention; just start again. that gain will go as fast as it went on. Its really tough and as has been said we are all saddled with long term habits and responses. It just doesn't matter, put it behind you and focus on the next day and success.
I think you are brave to write it down - now just simply forget what has happened and as others advise just carry on. Its a journey, it has hold ups and detours - and now on we go again. Well done and good luck. Its a life change and does not happen overnight.
GSQ

Wow, thanks guys. Your posts really helped picked me up. You are totally right about this being a journey and we'll all stumble at times. Day 4 back on TS, back in Ketosis and feeling so much better. Lost 5lbs of the 8 already so all going good. Thank you all so much