Dirty and untidy....what do we do ??

Our elderly friend, I will call her Joan to make things easier, lives alone, is 85 years old and not that mobile, is dirty and untidy in her home bordering on slovenly.
She is immaculately clean in herself.

Some of you will remember that when she went into hospital at the beginning of this year it took Paul 10 days to clean her house. It was so bad he would not let me see it.

I have offered to go once a week and keep it tidy and clean for her but she has refused my help saying she has always been untidy. This is beyond untidy.

We have known her for 25 year and she has never been so bad.

I realise that given all the conditions it is difficult for her to keep up with all that needs doing.

We take her shopping every week and as I am already there it would take no time for me to keep it in order. I worry that she will have a bad fall falling on something she has just dropped on the floor. She fell on Monday and bruised herself badly.

I really need to do something about it, but what..............

Oh Hunny, I realy dont know what to sugest, its a very difficult situation, I know my old gran bless her is as stubborn and everything as to be done her way or not at all. I guess by 85 your friend is set in her ways, maybe you could sit her down and explain how concerned you are for her and leave it at that, then mention a few days later that you have too much time on your hands and dont know what to do with it, then slip it into conversation that you could maybe just clean the windows or something small and work up from that.

Be bossy and do it anyway! My mum is forever moaning how she can't manage stuff then won't let me do it so now I figure she isn't strong enough to stop me!

Or make it sound like she is doing you a favour, tell her you haven't slept with the worry of her falling, and that it would be kinder if she let you.

Or convince her to get a woman in who does!