what is reasonable??

K

kymsey

On a journey !
Spent another night last night arguing with my son about coming off his x-box and time for lights out. He's 14 1/2 years old. For one I dont think too much time spent on these thing is much good for them and also when they have school the next morning they need their sleep don't they!! Perhaps you may think im being old fashioned but whats best for him is important. so I was wondering what time you think is a reasonable time on a school night for a lad of his age. Many thanks guys from a mum trying to do a good job xxxxx
 
I would say between 9 and 10 latest to get into bed and no your not being old fashioned. I'm making my 17 mnth old and 2 and half yr old be asleep by 7 and when they will be older like your son it will be in bed by 9 on school days. Maybe you can give him an incentive if he is being too difficult that he can stay up an xtra hour or two on friday and sat x
 
I had to be in bed by 9 at that age & we were never allowed to play computer games during the week - though my dad was fairly strict with us.
 
My son is 11 and has a 'lights out by 9:30' rule, with the exception of friday and saturday nights when he is allowed up till 10:30-11:00. He also plays xbox but we limit his time on there and often make him take a break and go play outside!
It makes me laugh because im 31 and when I was his age I used to play out all the time as there were only 4 channels on the tele with minimal kids progs and defo no xboxs or pcs! how quickly things have changed?!

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Mine are 10 and 6 (7 on Sunday) but I don't allow them on the X-Box after dinner, and they have to ask to go on it any other time, even though it's in their room. I like their homework done first too. Bed time is 8 and 8.30 (I know they are younger than your son) I don't really remember having a bedtime as such, but I was usually in bed by 9pm, and even now, I'm never up later than 10.30pm (very rare if I am!)
 
He does do his homework straight away when he comes in so i can't argue with that, and we do limit the amount of time spent on xbox etc. It's just every time I ask him to come off there's an argument as apparently "all his friends are still on" and "he's always the first off" But there has to be rules in the house as there are far too many of his friends who rule their parents and I will not become one of those! At this age they are argumentative and it can be really exhausting trying to pull rank as it were. I asked him to come off at ten last night and I don't think im being unfair. xxx
 
I don't think you are being unfair and I'd ask him to come off it well before bedtime to allow for "unwinding".

My daughter is 13 and currently goes to bed at 9pm. I do think that this will get a bit later next school year as she isn't really ready for bed at 9 any more. She has 30 mins unwinding before bed time, so no games or laptop, just reading or watching something on tv.

You can't really compare with other kids (although they all do) some of my daughters friends get up nearly an hour later than her and get driven to school and/or don't have breakfast, they get up dressed and out, so they go to bed later than she does.
 
It's sad really that he'd rather play with his friends on the Xbox than go outside & have a game of football or something. That's just how kids are now I guess :(
 
Oh he loves going outside and playing football and does this often, he loves sport and is very fit. However, I would rather he not be out much after a certain time anyway.
 
I have two ds 17 and 12 and always have problems with them regarding x box and how long. Our problem is we live quite far from DSs school and therefore they don't see friends in the evenings and this way they have some sort of contact. DS 2 gets until 9pm then its time to shower and unwind bed is at 10pm (he has DCD and finds getting to sleep a problem so this is our compromise which works). DS 1 always comes off at 10pm (his friends can do allnighters which I think is wrong). I also get the complaint that "everybody else is still on why can't I" but we have a switch outside in the hall which are connected to the x box plugs and I just threaten to press the switch (have never had to fortunately).
 
Thanks for your reply daiseymae, my husband did pull the plug last night (son was not at all happy) However, we had asked him half a dozen times!! It is difficult at this age and i agree some of his friends also do all nighters but were just not that sort of family. By that I mean that maybe we are a little strict with him but when i see the results of children off parents who let them have their own way all the time I would rather lay down ground rules. xx
 
Mine is just turning 14 and I have a similar issue with her blackberry as it has messenger and facebook on it and she's glued to it. Sometimes I catch her pretending to be asleep and then the phone makes a noise and it turned out she was hiding it under her pillow and chatting till midnight. Now she has to leave it in the living room on charge until she can be trusted. She's normally in bed between 9.30 and 10 with lights out by half past at the latest. At weekends she's generally up until around midnight but that doesn't bother me as she normally has sleep overs or is watching movies in bed.
 
I wish some of the parents of the students I teach stopped them playing til all hours, they are fit for nothing in school the next day. They end up resorting to Lucozade and red bull in order to stay awake. I also wish they would check the ratings of the games they let their children play as some games are way too violent for the under 16s.
Good luck with enforcing your rules.
 
i would say between 9 and 10 but I did a councelling course a few months ago and the tutor was explaining some differences between the chemicals in girls and boys. she was saying that boys have some chemical that makes them unable to sleep at night no matter how tired they are and this starts during pubity. some of the women on the course were saying that their teenage sons dont sleep until 12-1am and then wont get up in the morning for school/college, so something to bear in mind for those with future teenage sons... be prepared for late nights and shouting them 15 times a morning before they surface lol
 
We're having the same issues with our son who is 14 1/2 too.
I believe school nights should be lights out at 10pm, so 9.30 for all activity to cease.

However my husband believes that is too early.....he treats my son like Little Lord Fauntleroy!

Any tips on over-riding the husband would be appreciated!
 
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