Feeling 'phah' - Need some motivation

I dunno what’s up with me, but I am feeling really fed up and just feel like what’s the point with trying to lose weight.

I feel like I’ve spent the last five years of my life on a diet and what for? I’ve not lost anything cos for all I say I’ve been on a diet, I’ve not stuck to them for more than a few weeks at best. I’ve been on a binge/purge cycle for all that time. I’m so annoyed cos last year I got the slimmest I’ve been in a long time and then went and blew it so I’m back up to my usual size 14/11 stone.

I feel like I should just give up and accept myself as I am, but as much as I wish I could I still hate what I see in the mirror. But then I wonder if I’ll ever be happy anyway cos when I was thinner I still wasn’t happy with how I looked. I’ve spent my whole life being over weight and hating myself for it which I feel stupid about anyway cos I’ve still had a wonderful, successful and fulfilling life in spite of feeling like it holds me back.

I’m back at SW classes and while I’m hanging on in there for my MIL, I feel personally what’s the point?! I won’t lose anything and I feel like it will take me forever to get to a weight/size I’m happy with and then for what?! Just to go and put it back on?! I won’t keep it off for longer than a few months. I just feel so resentful sometimes when I cannot eat what I want when I want.

I feel like I’m so good at dishing advice out to everyone else re dieting but don’t listen to it myself. I know I should be happy with one to two pounds a week but what do I do in the mean time when all my clothes are too tight and I don’t have anything nice to wear on a night out with my husband?!

God I just feel so fed up and now sound like a crazy person. How do I do this?! :cry::cry::cry:

Funky ... sometimes I feel EXACTLY the same as you.

I think to myself - look at my hips, look at my bone structure. I have child bearing hips - I will NEVER be below a 10-12 size.

However, when I struggle like this, I think - well if u examine ur food diary really really closely, you will see that there are unhealthy bits in there. Those unhealthy bits can cut years off your life. I want to be HEALTHY, i want to have a healthy heart, liver, lungs and body ... AND mind.

Whilst I don't for one second think that all my problems will disappear when I am at GW ... I think that I will find a little bit more confidence. I am a bubbly, "out there" person anyway. "Oh look at me Iam the fat friend" is something I hide behind. Well i don't want to do that anymore. i want to actually like my body (i dont think I will ever LOVE it) .. instead of loathe it. I want to be healthy, I want to feel comfortable in my clothes and I want to live long.

These are the reasons I am losing weight.

Just remember that if u stick to the plan, you are eating well. You are being healthy and u are giving ur body the fuel it needs to run it properly. U wouldnt put a load of fat in ur car, you would give it carbohydrates as it processes the fuel efficiently which makes it run smoother. the same for your body.

We all have days, weeks, even months feeling like this. But remember that you started this journey for a reason, in the hope to look or/and feel better and to BE HEALTHY.

chin up hunny.
We will get there in the end.

xxxx