Recovering dieter on the final relapse!

Cee

Silver Member
Right! I'm back again. I'm doing what I promised myself I'd never do again...go on another diet, but hey, I'm a recovering dieter, I'm not cured yet. This is a relapse and hopefully the last.
I'm back on the CD wagon today. My head is banging, didn't get enough water in me as I was SO busy. I'm not in a sour mood, irritable or snappy, as I usually am on days 1-3 on CD. That's a good sign. I'm not hungry, or weak...yet! I feel pretty darn good, bar the massive headache.
I'm getting married in less than 4 weeks and would like to ensure that I'm confident enough with how I look to be able to take pictures!! Imagine, no pics of the bride! Anyway, I've decided that every time I get a hunger pang, or the thought to eat, or even start to pity myself, I will turn it into a positive. Instead of thinking' My head hurts like crazy, I can't take this anymore' I'm saying 'It'll be over in 3 days and you'll feel better' Instead of 'you can't eat anything for HOW LONG?' You're never going to succeed', I'm now saying 'Well done, you've managed to do it for ---- hours/days so far, you should be proud of yourself, you can make it through today'
One day at a time. Positive thinking. Keeping busy. Visualising the result. Hopefully this will be my winning recipe.

It also helps knowing that my dress won't fit if I haven't lost at least a stone by the day. :eek:
 
I've managed two days of SS and I'm trying not to think about food or about how long I'm going to do this for. I've had at least 2l of water and will probably down another l before bed.
OH came home from a business trip tonight and didn't believe me when I said I'd stuck to the plan since yesterday. He looked amazed said he was very impressed. I did CD for TWO days! Not even that, and he's stunned to silence! That should explain how hopeless I've been with trying to lose weight the past couple of years.
I've been reading other people's experiences and gaining a lot of strength from them. Reading how some people struggle but still manage to keep going is inspiring. I know I'll make it through tonight and when tomorrow comes I'll just do what I did today. Immediately stop any thoughts of food as they enter my mind. I find I give up easily because I allow myself to dwell on and daydream about food. Those thoughts won't be given any time in my head from now on!
One day at a time!
 
Congratulations Cee, on both your upcoming wedding and on successfully getting through 2 of the 3 hardest days on cd!
Just another 24 little hours and you should be in ketosis and you've done the hard bit!
Just keep focused on how gorgeous you will look in your dress, best of luck with everything
 
I'm on my way said:
Congratulations Cee, on both your upcoming wedding and on successfully getting through 2 of the 3 hardest days on cd!
Just another 24 little hours and you should be in ketosis and you've done the hard bit!
Just keep focused on how gorgeous you will look in your dress, best of luck with everything

Thanks I'm on my way. I got through those 3 days and it was tough!! Now I feel so'OK' I'm wondering if I haven't ruined my ketosis with the bag of hula hoops I had yesterday. I was just so weak and my legs hurt. Thankfully I stopped at that one packet. The other thing..
I now remember how my relaxing time in the loo reading stuff and checking Facebook & minimins is forsaken when doing CD! Instead I'm sitting there making all sorts of funny faces, eyes shut tight tight, mouth moving to parts of my face I never thought possible... and trying to find the best position to sit in order to facilitate the exit of the .... I'll stop there. But NO! I mean, its also SO unsatisfying! The result of all that hard work is a lousy tiny little splash and a warm backside for the next 2 hours! Is that what I burst an eye blood vessel for? SMH! Just another sacrifice one has to make for CD! On to day 6 and hopefully a 100% day.
 
So today, I've had a handful of peanuts, mind you I have pretty large hands for a woman! I didn't take any packs to work and I was so busy anyway. At 2.30pm I ended up eating some peanuts one of the girls bought, for much needed energy to enable me to see the day through! I've felt so guilty that I've just had water for the rest of the day. I know I know, that's bad too. I am also having a planned day off tomorrow and having Sunday lunch with the family. Lamb chops and veg mmmm! LOL! I'm such a bad example of a CD dieter I know, but I intend to be 100% from Monday. I am still using left over packs from my several failed attempts and will not weigh myself until day 14! I might even avoid weighing myself altogether until I can fit into all my size 14's that are still up in the loft. Then I'll work my way up the plans and hopefully maintain.
The deal with the weighing myself is this: My whole LIFE can be turned around by what that silly scale says to me when I stand on it. If I weighed myself tomorrow, which is day 7, 2 things can happen
1. I see that I've lost as much as 10 or 11lbs and I'm so overjoyed I decide to celebrate.....with a Singapore noodles and Special fried rice! With the intention of starting again the next day but never managing to.
2. I see that I haven't lost as much as I thought and I tell myself I'm wasting my time doing this if it's not going to be quicker than this, so I break the diet, order pizza and raid the kitchen cupboards while I await it's delivery!
Both situations have actually happened to me, so I am avoiding the scales! Evil scales!
My clothes feel looser already, i can see I'm slimmer, my 4 year old confirmed this when I asked her 'does mummy look smaller?' She said 'walk over there and let me see'. I obeyed, and she suddenly squealed 'YEEEES!!!' :D
I tried on some trousers which wouldn't button up AT ALL last week, and they did today, even though they fit rather snuggly, I still wore them to work with pride ;)
 
Today I've eaten TOO MUCH! that's all I'm going to say. Why? Because, after trying to convince myself that I wouldn't weigh myself, I gave in and got on the scales. This morning I weighed 13.1 & a 1/4 meaning a 9lb loss in my first week. So.... I decided to eat today, and eat I did! Anyhoo, it's Sunday, day of rest & all that, back to the heavy labour of CD tomorrow. I'll be good, I promise! ;-)
 
Right, I've had a good 4 days of eating and it's partly because I'm going for a weekend to Legoland for my daughter's birthday. I know it'll be close to impossiblekjjjjjjj
 
had to stop updating my diary abruptly as my daughters came out of ballet a little early, whilst I was in the middle of it. Anyway. I'm back on today, doing SS+ until Saturday. I'll have Saturday off as it's my baby's 3rd birthday, going to legoland and must eat cake. Straight back onto it on Sunday, hopefully, but I like my Sundays eating with the fam so I might just eat some roast with veg and stick to a low cal day. SS+ from Monday 30th straight through to fri 10 th June when I have another planned break until the 23rd! Pretty sure all the weight will pile back on but at least I'll be a little slimmer for my wedding on the 11th! I'll summon all my power to get back on on the 24th and SS+ to 11.5 stones.
So far so good today!
 
After a food filled few days, celebrating my daughter's birthday, I'm ready to get really stuck in from tomorrow! Do it properly for the next 11 days and hopefully get into the 12's for my marriage to my ex husband! Yes, I'm marrying the same man again! Never thought a divorce would put our relationship right, but it did and we're now happier than we've ever been. So, I have the dress, it's a size 16 and would fit perfectly if I dropped about 8 or 9 lbs. Still gotta decide what to do with my hair. Planning to keep myself occupied sorting out last minute details, shopping and holiday preparations during the next 11 days before our 2nd big day. I know I can do it, and I know how I did it, so I will do it! Simples!
 
Back
Top