bye-bigun!
Sensibly losing :)
I have decided to keep a note of my feelings and progress in the hope that when I hit my goal I can look back and understand how bad I felt and never ever go back there again. I have been fat all of my life since I was about 15 when I weighed about 15 stone.. and it only got worse as time went on. My highest weight I recall (as I weighed in at SW horrified) was 19stone 2lb.. that makes me feel sick to my stomach. Its all my own fault really, I love naughty snacks and food and I have a wonky underactive thyroid which has had a bad effect. I have 3 kids aged 13,4 & 2 and luckily with the last 2 pregnancies I managed to lose weight throughout, then kept a bit more off through SW as I had a headstart - the scales are now creeping up again and I know if I ignore the odd 10lb then I will be back where I was.
Life is miserable on a deeper level. I love my family and other half, I have a great life and dont have to work.. but my weight spoils all of this, my relationships, going to the schoo, shops, buying clothes.. I feel as if I need to hide away. I never go out with my bum showing (in clothing obviously!) and winter is my best time of year as I get to hide behind a big coat.. I went out today for example and kept the same big coat on even though it was warm as my clothes didnt feel/look right. I cant take my kids swimming, holidays are ruled out due to how I feel, I am also becoming almost jealous of my teenage Daughter and her trips out to buy clothes and getting dressed up. I get snappy and its not her fault but deepdown I wanted that life but was too fat to do it... I need to change for my health, my kids and my sanity really.
I have 5 slipped discs in my back , have been in and out of hossie for procedures on it and I am now finally waiting on a date to have them whipped out. I live on morphine at the age of 33 plus loads of other pain meds, I also need bowel surgery at anytime and my gallbladder removed. I shouldnt be like this at 33, I got dealt a bad hand and my weight has not helped. By losing lbs I will be safer and have a better recovery, I need to do this for my kids.
I have no clothes to clim in to as I have always been fat. I am looking forward to going out and buying clothes the next size down.. i felt so bad last time even tho slimming down that I stayed int he same clothes and pinned them at the waist. I am not doing that this time. I am going to celebrate it and enjoy shopping. I am currently in a size 18 on the bottom, smaller on top but never go shopping. I would love to get to a size 12 in my dreams but not sure if this is possible as I have always been big. Now I am slimmer my skin is 'empty' and I feel yuk.. I guess that side will only get worse but can be hidden in clothes. Pharmacy confident I will shrink back in but time will tell!
Anyway, off to do my undie shots and proper measurements before i miss them and dont bother and fall off the wagon, I am doing everything differently this time in the hope that I conciously realise whats going on and to never let is happen again...
Will pop back when I have updates and seeing as the evening is the worst time of day for me then I guess you can expect me online most evenings!! Its either that I will go to bed early to avoid cravings!!
Thanks for reading if you got this far - I am determined to be one of the success stories on this board and have been deeply inspired and spurred on by all of your stories.
Thank you
D
xxx
Life is miserable on a deeper level. I love my family and other half, I have a great life and dont have to work.. but my weight spoils all of this, my relationships, going to the schoo, shops, buying clothes.. I feel as if I need to hide away. I never go out with my bum showing (in clothing obviously!) and winter is my best time of year as I get to hide behind a big coat.. I went out today for example and kept the same big coat on even though it was warm as my clothes didnt feel/look right. I cant take my kids swimming, holidays are ruled out due to how I feel, I am also becoming almost jealous of my teenage Daughter and her trips out to buy clothes and getting dressed up. I get snappy and its not her fault but deepdown I wanted that life but was too fat to do it... I need to change for my health, my kids and my sanity really.
I have 5 slipped discs in my back , have been in and out of hossie for procedures on it and I am now finally waiting on a date to have them whipped out. I live on morphine at the age of 33 plus loads of other pain meds, I also need bowel surgery at anytime and my gallbladder removed. I shouldnt be like this at 33, I got dealt a bad hand and my weight has not helped. By losing lbs I will be safer and have a better recovery, I need to do this for my kids.
I have no clothes to clim in to as I have always been fat. I am looking forward to going out and buying clothes the next size down.. i felt so bad last time even tho slimming down that I stayed int he same clothes and pinned them at the waist. I am not doing that this time. I am going to celebrate it and enjoy shopping. I am currently in a size 18 on the bottom, smaller on top but never go shopping. I would love to get to a size 12 in my dreams but not sure if this is possible as I have always been big. Now I am slimmer my skin is 'empty' and I feel yuk.. I guess that side will only get worse but can be hidden in clothes. Pharmacy confident I will shrink back in but time will tell!
Anyway, off to do my undie shots and proper measurements before i miss them and dont bother and fall off the wagon, I am doing everything differently this time in the hope that I conciously realise whats going on and to never let is happen again...
Will pop back when I have updates and seeing as the evening is the worst time of day for me then I guess you can expect me online most evenings!! Its either that I will go to bed early to avoid cravings!!
Thanks for reading if you got this far - I am determined to be one of the success stories on this board and have been deeply inspired and spurred on by all of your stories.
Thank you
D
xxx
