My first thought log.

Alan_99

Full Member
Thanks Mrs L for the advice on how to do these. Unfortunately after yesterday I found reason to need to do one:sigh:

What happened :-

Got behind the wheel and headed off to Essex
Stopped at the co-op and bought Grapes, mixed fruit and nuts and also dried apricots
Stopped at BP and bought 6 bottles of Pepsi Max (bogof) I always buy extra Pepsi when its on offer for some reason.
Stuck in traffic on M ate all supplies and drank all drink.
Delivered load then headed back stopped in BP bought 4 bottles of Pepsi max and also large bag of mixed fruit and nuts and more dried fruit.
Ate all of them in one go stopped again at Tescos (less than 45 minutes later) and bought more fruit and nuts and dried Apricots.
Continued to eat all of them until I felt so bloated and full I also had a stomach ache.

Hot thoughts :-

Need food to concentrate while driving
Could get stuck in traffic with no supplies.
Worried about being bored.
Don't like my own company when no distractions.
Feeling lonely.
I need comfort when I'm alone.
Food is my only comfort.
Food will make me feel better.

How I felt :-

Felt guilty
Lonely
Defiant

What I did this time/would have done in the past:-

When feeling like this I binge, now it's on fruit and nuts in the past it would have been bread and chocolate or take away.

Evidence for Hot thoughts:-

Everyone in my life has left me at different times.Apart from my ex-wife the important people have always come back into my life.
Spent hours alone behind the wheel and have enjoyed my own company.

Evidence against hot thoughts:-

There's nothing wrong with my own company.
I'm not going to starve if I'm stuck in traffic without food.
Food isn't going to make me feel better or less alone it's a momentary distraction.
Food isn't going to actually stop me being alone in fact the opposite is true in the end.

In the future:-

I'll turn the radio up.
Try and get out of driving for work.
Go for a walk (when I'm at home feeling like this) ( which I'm already doing)
Leave my wallet at home or work so I have no money to spend.

Finally got the hot thoughts out and will now find strategies for dealing with them. One thing that is different this time to in the past is I would have gone on a major downer lasting a few days in the past rather than facing up to the situation and dealing with it and moving on, which is a good feeling and a positive one for me.
I'm going cycling now to deal with the extra calories involved and with luck my weight won't be to adversely effected.
 
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Hi Alan,

Well done for doing the log and realising the problems. Good luck with new regime, you know we are all behind you.
 
Dear Alan

Just quickly logged on and saw this. Well done!! It's fantastic.

I must admit I shed a tear when I read:

"Finally got the hot thoughts out and will now find strategies for dealing with them. One thing that is different this time to in the past is I would have gone on a major downer lasting a few days in the past rather than facing up to the situation and dealing with it and moving on, which is a good feeling and a positive one for me."

Why the tears? Because that's such a huge change for you and if my thoughts record "how to" guide helped you, then that's such a great thing. I feel so blessed with my LLC and it's a joy to share the knowledge, particularly when there are such tangible benefits.

I'm going to read your blog this weekend - there aren't many guys blogging - so it's great to see things from the other side.

Take care and well done for doing the thought record; I know it was hard to feel you had to do one (sigh) BUT look at the insight it gave you. Amazing. Really well done! You'll find them such an invaluable tool.

As Claire says, we're right behind you - every step of the way, that's the joy of minimins!

Take care.

Mrs L xxxxxxxx
 
Alan, that is so good that you are beginning to be able to both recognise and deal with your thoughts and reactions to them.

I hope for similar enlightenment myself soon, and I do think the understading is growing, particularly with the help of folks such as Mrs L, AJ & Cerulean.


Well done on your acheivements Allan!!
 
Thank you everyone for your great replies. I have found Minimins so helpful and inspiring some of the threads are awsome and helpful.

Thank you once again Mrs L for the great guide I will definitely be using thought logs again in the future, although hopefully not to often. I didn't really have myself down as a blogger but its becoming something I'm really benefiting from.

I'm sure others like me, will add you to that list you gave Sez some of your posts this week have made difficult but inspiring reading.

Thank you Clair for your support it's the best thing about the forums I think is the support everyone gives/ receives.

For the record I cycled 24 miles this morning including for the first time hills. Fingers crosses that will work off the extra calories.

Have a great weekend everyone.
x
 
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