Used to Be Me

This used to be me, a curvy and slim size 12 and many pounds lighter than I am now, that was before the emotional eating once again got the better of me. That was a girl who liked going clothes shopping, that was a girl who always took pride in her appearance. That was a girl who as I once got told had a "model walk" because I knew I had worked hard to look like that. That was a girl who got male attention and even had a celebrity tell her she was sexy.

Now I'm not her any more I'm the ugly fat lump that I thought I'd gotten rid of forever. I no longer enjoy clothes shopping, it is once again a thing of dread, in fact I don't clothes shop at all, I don't want my wardrobe filled up with big girl sizes again. It's going to take time to be her again, if only she'd known that even though she'd gotten slim, that food was still her biggest vice. She should have worked on her emotional issues as well as worked on getting into nice slinky dresses and skinny jeans. She should have learned to love instead of loath herself, she should have taken control. She shouldn't have listened to the demon in her head that insisted on telling her she was never going to be worthy of anything.

I just want to be beautiful, slim, I want to kill this ugly thing I see in my reflection once and for all. Why oh why did I let her come back...:cry:

Hey.... don't beat yourself up - we all fall off the wagon now and again. What is important is that you know that you can be this girl again and you can feel this good again. I do it myself - i hate myself for what i've let myself become, but i'm determined after too many years of hating myself that this year i'm fixing it, this year i will be the girl that i once was and will be comfortable in myself. But most importantly, this year i'm changing my lifestyle and my habits so that it's gone for good. YOU CAN DO IT, just remember how good you feel every time you feel tempted x

dont be too hard on yourself. it happened to me and i managed to get back on track again so don't give up hope x

How are you feeling now? I hope you're okay. Anyhow, don't beat yourself up over this. You'll be her again. Just keep working on your goals and you'll be fine.

Yes be positive . Focus on the things you like about yourself and that may help your self belief . X