mission to shrink

well, here i go.
no more pretending things are going to happen tomorrow.
no more ' i will start a diet next week, i cant afford cd, my willpower isnt strong enough, i have too much stress in my life'
the sad fact is if i dont do something NOW i may not have a life for very long.
so here i am..... at the end of day one of my 3rd and FINAL cd journey.
i have a long way to go.
im sure at some point i will share my starting weight but right now the shame of it prevents me from even sharing it with my partner .
i have been asked to be my sisters bridesmaid in october this year so hopefully between now and then i can get to or very close to my goal.... im not even sure what my ultimate goal is.
i just know i dont want to be the fat bridesmaid. for once i want to be the one that blends with the others. no more do i want to feel like i am being whispered about.
i have been obese since i was about 8 or 9 and sadly am now classed as super morbidly obese :cry:.
so ive never been slim or even close to slim in my adult life so i have no idea what size or weight i should be.
i would love to say i want to be a size 10 and weigh 9stone but i dont know my frame size really and although i would love to think of me as a size 10 it is very hard to even imagine the image .
time will tell as i get closer to goal i guess.
i am writing this diary in the hope i can look back when i have bad days and relive the enthuiasm i feel right now.
would also be nice if my positive feelings (which i hope to keep ) can help others in their journeys.
i have myself been lifted by reading other cd'ers diaries and have been inspired and motivated many times.
so, (lifts a glass of water) here's to a journey of a lifetime.

hey cheryl.... unfortunately i'm struggling to lose weight myself and also new to the site so have no advice yet... but u do sound very hard on yourself.... even if you're not your ideal weight 'yet' you're alive to tell the tale...... i've learnt 'from experience' that stress can also make u gain/lose weight..... try to focus on new possibilities if u have no hope its hard to be convinced by others...... i know how u feel tho but at the same time chin up honeybun.... its only weight it can do with determination and effort! so lets do this! 2gether! xox bless ya xx

hi majik, hope ur doing well

had my first weigh in today.
i was a little nervous as my weigh in was at 4pm and by that time ive consumed a fair amount of water so i knew there was a chance of my weight loss not being as much as i expected.....
well, i was actually pleasantly surprised to see that i have lost 9lbs .
on top of that i did my measurements this morning ( i will add them to this page when i have the courage to give my starting weight too ).
i have lost 2 inches of my waist and an inch off my hips.... nothing off my bust whatsoever .
i am actually feeling really good right now and definately have the motivation to face the oncoming week.