Yes, it's CalgonTablet and he's back with a brand new username. New username, new year, new attempt at Exante. I decided to 'start over' as I'm pretty sure my old account was closed-down after my "I f--k on the first date" comment appeared to have caused a little controversy earlier in the week. Honestly, it's tough competing with Frankie Boyle. I see the entire series of posts were deleted, in fact...
(All I was doing was dishing out a little advice to a poor female who'd been treated dreadfully by the male gender. And what thanks do I get for my 'Dear Deidre' moment?)
So, anyway, where did we leave off? Well, as some of you might recall, last year, around October time, I 'embarked' on Exante. I lost about 3 stones and everything was going fine until I got involved in a relationship with a stunningly beautiful girl called Elena. Things went slightly wrong diet-wise from that point onwards, although I should stress that it wasn't because I was waking up in the night in a sweat-induced frenzy due to severe cream cake withdrawal symptoms. In fact, after the first two days, I actually found Exante quite easy. Honestly. The only real 'side effect' I suffered was the dry mouth 'thing' and the odd upset tummy in week one.
I did find keeping it from colleagues a little bit difficult. See, I'm an English teacher and I work in a very female-dominated profession. Whilst this might typically be a 'good' thing, it well, actually isn't, as most of the staff are so old, they need ironing. Either way, I have no inclination whatsoever to discuss my dieting tactics with them for a whole range of reasons I won't go into here, so snipping those silver sachets in the corner of the room at lunchtime did make me feel a bit like a crack-addict preparing their next fix, and, once the potion had been prepared, I'd always have to make sure the sachet was stuffed firmly underneath all the damp paper towels and bits of paper that sat in the dustbin to the side of the kettle. Well, I couldn't have the nosey physics tutor coming along and saying: "Exantwhat? Whose is this then?"
Anyway, I started Exante at over 22 stones. Ridiculous, I know. People were beginning to stop me in the street and say: "I thought you'd died years ago...You are Bernard Manning aren't you?" I am now 20.7 stones and single again (Elena, it seems, clearly thought I hadn't progressed enough with Exante...). So, I'm back, and intend to stay celibate this time around. Yes, it's going to be hard.
And yes, I know I uttered similar sentiments back in October, but I swear it this time around. Ok? I might also add that 2011 is the 10th anniversary of my losing some 7 stones on the SlimFast plan, a diet I am still a big supporter of - Exante is less admin though, admittedly - and which I actually kept off for some three years or so. I also have a feeling that if I don't get this issue sorted in the coming months, I'll probably die of a heart attack before long anyway.
For those who wish to follow the fun, please do. I see quite a lot of you from Sep/Oct are still knocking about on here (one of you I SOOOOO fancy too - The girl who wears the black top in her picture - I look at her sometimes and say aloud to myself: "You are such a hot potato...I definitely would..."), so I hope we can all have some fun together in the coming months. I'll try and update every day, and let you know how I'm progressing because I know you're all really interested and totally bothered about how much weight I'm losing.
So, I'm sitting here typing this at twenty to eight on New Year's Eve. In the draw below my bed is a shed load of Exante sachets and some of those dodgy cereal bar thingies. Every weigh-in day will be Monday but I'll start two days early on this first week as it's new year's day tomorrow and I want to get this underway ASAP. I would love to reach my target weight of 12.13 by the early summer and I intend to get there. I want to make some big changes in my life this year, including finding 'the one.' Awwah.
(And by 'the one,' I mean the girl I intend to marry; not the ultimate chicken korma and rice recipe.)
I'm looking forward to the coming months people. Happy New Year to you all too. Especially the girl in the black. I'm off to drink my final drop of alcohol for the foreseeable five months. I'll add a photo when I can work out how to do it, by the way. Anyone want to help?
See you tomorrow.
(All I was doing was dishing out a little advice to a poor female who'd been treated dreadfully by the male gender. And what thanks do I get for my 'Dear Deidre' moment?)
So, anyway, where did we leave off? Well, as some of you might recall, last year, around October time, I 'embarked' on Exante. I lost about 3 stones and everything was going fine until I got involved in a relationship with a stunningly beautiful girl called Elena. Things went slightly wrong diet-wise from that point onwards, although I should stress that it wasn't because I was waking up in the night in a sweat-induced frenzy due to severe cream cake withdrawal symptoms. In fact, after the first two days, I actually found Exante quite easy. Honestly. The only real 'side effect' I suffered was the dry mouth 'thing' and the odd upset tummy in week one.
I did find keeping it from colleagues a little bit difficult. See, I'm an English teacher and I work in a very female-dominated profession. Whilst this might typically be a 'good' thing, it well, actually isn't, as most of the staff are so old, they need ironing. Either way, I have no inclination whatsoever to discuss my dieting tactics with them for a whole range of reasons I won't go into here, so snipping those silver sachets in the corner of the room at lunchtime did make me feel a bit like a crack-addict preparing their next fix, and, once the potion had been prepared, I'd always have to make sure the sachet was stuffed firmly underneath all the damp paper towels and bits of paper that sat in the dustbin to the side of the kettle. Well, I couldn't have the nosey physics tutor coming along and saying: "Exantwhat? Whose is this then?"
Anyway, I started Exante at over 22 stones. Ridiculous, I know. People were beginning to stop me in the street and say: "I thought you'd died years ago...You are Bernard Manning aren't you?" I am now 20.7 stones and single again (Elena, it seems, clearly thought I hadn't progressed enough with Exante...). So, I'm back, and intend to stay celibate this time around. Yes, it's going to be hard.
And yes, I know I uttered similar sentiments back in October, but I swear it this time around. Ok? I might also add that 2011 is the 10th anniversary of my losing some 7 stones on the SlimFast plan, a diet I am still a big supporter of - Exante is less admin though, admittedly - and which I actually kept off for some three years or so. I also have a feeling that if I don't get this issue sorted in the coming months, I'll probably die of a heart attack before long anyway.
For those who wish to follow the fun, please do. I see quite a lot of you from Sep/Oct are still knocking about on here (one of you I SOOOOO fancy too - The girl who wears the black top in her picture - I look at her sometimes and say aloud to myself: "You are such a hot potato...I definitely would..."), so I hope we can all have some fun together in the coming months. I'll try and update every day, and let you know how I'm progressing because I know you're all really interested and totally bothered about how much weight I'm losing.
So, I'm sitting here typing this at twenty to eight on New Year's Eve. In the draw below my bed is a shed load of Exante sachets and some of those dodgy cereal bar thingies. Every weigh-in day will be Monday but I'll start two days early on this first week as it's new year's day tomorrow and I want to get this underway ASAP. I would love to reach my target weight of 12.13 by the early summer and I intend to get there. I want to make some big changes in my life this year, including finding 'the one.' Awwah.
(And by 'the one,' I mean the girl I intend to marry; not the ultimate chicken korma and rice recipe.)
I'm looking forward to the coming months people. Happy New Year to you all too. Especially the girl in the black. I'm off to drink my final drop of alcohol for the foreseeable five months. I'll add a photo when I can work out how to do it, by the way. Anyone want to help?
See you tomorrow.
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Let's get this weight off! Good luck for 2011
