I feel so disgusted with myself. I was always the chubby kid, then got faaatt. Then I got thin but curvy, I was a pretty perfect weight although I still saw myself as obese, I only realised I had been thin after I started puting the weight back on again. That was ages ago though. I've been puting on tonnes of weight since then. In the last few years I've put on 5 stone. I'm only 18! I honestly feel like people don't want to be friends with someone who's fat, like I'm suddenly not cool or something. I see myself in reflections of shop windows, and just feel so... downhearted. Like I don't know how i've let myself get to here. I have a boyfriend, who is really good looking. It depresses me because I don't understand why he's with me and just feel like i'm constantly letting him down. I want to get past these feelings but it's just not going to happen. Being fat is honestly ruining my life. I'm so insecure I can barely have fun anymore.
I don't want to be one of those fat people that goes out to clubs with their friends and hides under baggy clothes, but if I wear tighter clothes, I feel like people all stare, like they think i'm trying too hard and I should just leave.
I just weighed myself and the scales tell me i'm 17 stone. At 5'6" that's appalling, especially for someone my age. I try to eat healthily, and it lasts for about a week before I just get so pissed off at my boyfriend and everyone in the bloody world who eats more than me, and worse than me, and yet they're so much thinner.
I hate going to the gym, I like working out, but people stare, and then there's trying to find clothes that don't make me look like a big sweaty sack of potatoes.
I recently started needing a size 20. Now I can't even get clothes in New Looks normal range. I've resorted to buying online unless it's pants from primark.
I just really need help and support, motivation from people going through the same things and emotions. Thin people just do not understand, they get to eat when they're hungry..
Sorry for the big intro, and by the way, my name is Rachel, I'm studying Zoology at university, hoping to do Vet Med afterwards. Something tells me that bit should have been at the start lol!
x
I don't want to be one of those fat people that goes out to clubs with their friends and hides under baggy clothes, but if I wear tighter clothes, I feel like people all stare, like they think i'm trying too hard and I should just leave.
I just weighed myself and the scales tell me i'm 17 stone. At 5'6" that's appalling, especially for someone my age. I try to eat healthily, and it lasts for about a week before I just get so pissed off at my boyfriend and everyone in the bloody world who eats more than me, and worse than me, and yet they're so much thinner.
I hate going to the gym, I like working out, but people stare, and then there's trying to find clothes that don't make me look like a big sweaty sack of potatoes.
I recently started needing a size 20. Now I can't even get clothes in New Looks normal range. I've resorted to buying online unless it's pants from primark.
I just really need help and support, motivation from people going through the same things and emotions. Thin people just do not understand, they get to eat when they're hungry..
Sorry for the big intro, and by the way, my name is Rachel, I'm studying Zoology at university, hoping to do Vet Med afterwards. Something tells me that bit should have been at the start lol!
x