Night Out Feelings

Isn't it strange how a night out can fill you with horror its not the drink its not the food its ME. I am not even close to target I have 50 odd pounds to go but my dress size at the moment is a 16-18 so I can't use the I don't have anything to wear excuse.. I used to love going out until my size got out of hand and I hid away for years.. I have a real complex about people looking at me! It drives my Mum mad, she tells me off for scowling and say's they might be looking at you because you look nice I get ready and I think oh that's ok, then the door bell rings and my friends arrive and my heart sinks.. they all look so fab.. and I go back to feeling awful, I suppose you could ask why I'm even bothering to go out.. well I love my friends and I'm blessed to have them.. just one thing though.. they have got wise to my antics and said if I don't go out tomorrow they are coming around.. it's been six months since my last outing.. god gawd why do I find the social thing so stressful..

We are often our own worst critic and unfortunately that little voice in our head can become a habit and we don't even try to challenge it. I'm sure not everyone you know is a skinny minny but have you ever thought the more curvaceous ones look awful? How often do you look at strangers and think "she should never have left the house?". I think you need to start challenging your negative thinking loop a bit more and the easiest way to do that is as soon as you hear it you pull yourself up short (mentally) and tell yourself "stop! I look good and I am working hard" etc or some such positive message.

Google "stop negative thinking" and you will get loads of sites telling you similar stuff but here is a good one to get you started Deal with Negative Self-Talk 1

Be kind to yourself... and the first step to that is to start practising.
xx

I used to go out to nightclubs and bars etc, but the bigger I got the less I wanted to go. I don't go at all now.
I started turning down invitations to go out, nothing against my friends, its just wasn't my scene anymore. I am not asked at all now and thats fine by me. I am self conscious too but it seems to be going a bit, the more weight I lose.

As for you, the less you go out with your friends, you might start dreading it and fearing it more and more.
If you do go out, you never know you might enjoy yourself more than what you think you will.
But at the same time if you really don't want to go then why go?
Do what is right for you not everyone else. You could always see your friends in another context eg go shopping, have them round your house.

I know what you mean...I never ever go out, and I never had, because I've been fat my whole life and never confident enough to go out. That's why I'm so determined to lose weight before uni - to kick my social life into action!

Sounds like you have fantastic friends , I think women are so hard on themselves its sad really I felt very self concious at my heaviest so I know what you mean, I do hope you have a nice night

I know what you mean. I hate it when people look at me. I always think they're talking/thinking about my weight This weekend, we went to LOndon and my OH stopped in a Pret à Manger for a salad and I felt even worse at people looking at me because I was thinking that they were saying amongst themselves: here goes the fatty stuffing her face

My OH told me they weren't even looking, but I am now paranoid

I am yet to meet a woman who is confident with her body. Even my skinny friends are body conscious.

Thanks ladies I'm afraid I didn't make it out.. I've used the time wisely to start a diary on the cd diary page.. been a bit of a strange day all in all x x

Sarah Lou said:

Thanks ladies I'm afraid I didn't make it out.. I've used the time wisely to start a diary on the cd diary page.. been a bit of a strange day all in all x x

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As long as it was a decision you are happy with ... and sounds like you did something positive with the time