Feeling sensitive about your weight?

Hey guys and girlies.

I was wondering about how you feel towards your weight and people commenting on it. When i was big i felt very cautious about doing / saying anything that would spark conversation or comments on my weight and often felt jelous if i heard someone complaining someone had made a comment on how small they were. Oh how i wish someone would comment on my small waist.

However, now, being smaller myself.. i am VERY sensitive. I feel uncomfortable if someone says ' oh you look so slim!' when i wear a new outfit, and i HATE it when my mum rubs her hands up and down the sides of my waist and says ' look how skinny you are!' even though i know she's only doing it cos shes so proud. . but my pet hate, the one that really gets me is that comment, accomanied by the enquisitive look - ' surely you dont want to loose anymore?!'



I was always a bit sensitive before when i was big, but most people have the common sense to not say anything- well its just unnaceptable in this day and age to tell somone they are big isnt it! we'd all be outraged.. but unexpectadly i am most sensitive now, and think it adds to my whole 'oh only a couple more pounds off would do it maybe?' and i was even more sensitive during my weight loss journey - fear of people not being able to tell i was loosing weight, or even worse.. commenting on it and making it obvious everyone knew how big i was!



just wondered how everyone else felt about it?

xxx

although i have not done as well as you have honey, i do feel funny when people comment on it. my main concern is when i get to target people will remember how 'slim' i was when i had just come out of hospital 12 yrs ago after 3 lots of surgery for crohns and compare as I will never be that size again.

i think i would rather people not notice than make a BIG thing about it

Hmm, that's an interesting one, Fern.

When I was big I never had any problem acknowledging it or talking about it with the people who knew me personally. I didn't see the point in trying to pretend I was 'normal', I was extremely fat and I had no problem saying so!

Of course I was subjected to a lot of verbal abuse by strangers on almost a daily basis, which upset me a lot, but that's different.

Once the weight started coming off I was waiting for people I knew to comment! Frustratingly none of them did until I'd lost about 4st, probably because I was so big to start with that it didn't show much at first. Once they did start to comment I was delighted, and happy to discuss it with anyone who asked.

At the moment I'm getting the 'you're going too far, you don't need to lose anymore' comments, but they don't bother me at all.

Hi Fren i know what u mean but i wouldnt say im 'sensitive' but when ppl make comments all the time the same nagging people that upsets me.! Telling me to stop dieting.

But yeah ure mum is proud of u hun, as my mum sure is.!

Well done you x

Be happy your mum is proud hun, My mum keeps telling me not to waiste my money as i'm never going to be 'slim' ... the day I lose all my weight and my mum says look how 'slim' you are will be all I need to know 'I did it!'

I honestly could not care less about what anyone else says. Anyone who wants to comment can feel free to do so - I won't take any notice.

If someone wants to say something nice, then I will say thank you, politely. If they want to say something nasty I will laugh at them.

Life is too short to worry about what other people are saying.

gemma_ said:

Be happy your mum is proud hun, My mum keeps telling me not to waiste my money as i'm never going to be 'slim' ... the day I lose all my weight and my mum says look how 'slim' you are will be all I need to know 'I did it!'

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how unsupportive!

when my mum told my sister i'd already lost a stone, she looked me up and down and said 'really?'

then when i went up for YSOTY, she said ' you wont win but itl be a great experiance'


sisterly love eh? i prayed when she got preggers she'd stack on the lbs to know what it was like to have to work to look good.. but she didnt

believe it or not we are very close now LOL x

I know what you mean my mums side is all skinny minny'sand my dads side are all big women after a bitter divorce my mum classes me as 'like them' .... me and my mum are best friends and i havnt seen my dad in years but still!

I do go to slimming world with my friend who is 9st heavier than me (but 6inches taller) and she's always saying i dont need to go theres nothing on me and my legs are too thin.... im size 16 and 5ft 1 thats not skinny and whe i lose weight i tend to feel really guilty and she makes me feel bad for it. so I do understand kind of what you mean and can be a rough experience!

I had my first "well you look alright now, you dont need to lose any more" today, off my mum!! I am still at least 2 st overweight, and I am aiming to lose about 2 1/2 altogether, maybe 3 if I can, but I still feel "lardy" in the head and so it came as a bit of a surprise to hear her say that. I know I am tall, very tall for a girl, so I doubt I will ever feel dainty and petite, but I am not sure about how to psychologically get to the "middle ground" of "tall but elegant".

I have been asked if i'm pregnant four times this year and i really hate it. its hard enough to dress when your overweight without some thoughtless git commenting on it, people should shutup lol.
On the other hand if i was slim i'd want everyone to comment

I would love to be at the stage where people commented that I'd lost some lard. To be honest I look pregnant I've got that much weight around me middle... Slim arms, slim legs but a giant 'chest' and stomach. Not a pretty sight at all... I'm on my first week of SW, and really hope to see some results. Some of you ladies on here have some very impressive losses. Good on you for sticking at it and if people criticise tell them to take a running jump!

avisk said:

I honestly could not care less about what anyone else says. Anyone who wants to comment can feel free to do so - I won't take any notice.

If someone wants to say something nice, then I will say thank you, politely. If they want to say something nasty I will laugh at them.

Life is too short to worry about what other people are saying.

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Could not have put it better myself.

I know how I feel, I know what I want to achieve, I know what I have achieved and that is all that counts.

I understand how hurtful some thoughtless people can be, but honestly folks, nothing is more important than what you are achieving...............

I thought I was fine, but in work the other day my boss commented on how well I was doing to lose nearly 3 stone. He was being genuine and supportive, but for some reason it made me feel really uncomfortable and awkward!

Really made me not want anyone to bring up the conversation of dieting/weight again!

I wish I had your confidence Avisk and Fillymum. Noone has commented on any loss of mine. In Fact when I went to visit my darling mil(with gun to head by dh) she said hello and immediately told me I'd put weight on.

I love it when people give me a compliment about how much weight I lost and how good I look, but they don't see me under my clothes :sigh:
My hubby, is continually telling me my legs are too thin, and when I wear shorts at home comments on my "wrinkled legs"!
That does hurt, as he was always so supportive, and I am trying so hard to get rid of the flabby skin. :cry:
The other day I told him (though didn't mean a word) that perhaps I should just get fat again and won't have the flabby skin and wrinkles, but then I would hear about my "fat bum and tum" again, so it's a no win situation! He told me I was just being silly!
So, I have decided that I really don't care whether anyone likes what they see, as long as I feel good, and I do!
Fern, you are lovely hun, just enjoy it, and the compliments you get *hugs*

louisedan said:

I wish I had your confidence Avisk and Fillymum. Noone has commented on any loss of mine. In Fact when I went to visit my darling mil(with gun to head by dh) she said hello and immediately told me I'd put weight on.

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Mothers in law are programmed by nature to make nasty remarks. Daughters in law should also be programmed to ignore them!
(It took me a long time to learn this lesson, but life became much easier when I did.)

Confidence is not something that most of us are born with. You have to work at it, which is not always easy, but is always worth the effort.

avisk said:

Mothers in law are programmed by nature to make nasty remarks. Daughters in law should also be programmed to ignore them!
(It took me a long time to learn this lesson, but life became much easier when I did.)

Confidence is not something that most of us are born with. You have to work at it, which is not always easy, but is always worth the effort.

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Louise, I think perhaps we have had a "few" more years practice than you . Some of the *confidence* comes with experience and as Avisk said work and effort.

I saw a friend of mine today that I haven't seen for three weeks. She is super slim, always perfectly turned out and good at everything she does. She is also pretty far up her own bum. As I walked towards her to greet her I thought, " she is bound to say something " Not one word. A little demon in my head made me say.............look at me, I have lost 35lbs in total.................she looked at me as if I were nuts, she looked as if she didn't believe me.In that second I understood...............she didn't see my weight loss because it was something that didn't put her in the spotlight.

Realising that was like having a light turned on in a darkened room, I also realised that her opinion means nothing..........just not important.

Admittedly a wish for her to experience a thousand fleas in her knickers did flash through my head.LOL.

The moral of the story............. always be true to yourself and whilst you are turning the gun on your MIL smile !!!!




xxxxxx

I am very sensitive about my weight- I don't even tell my mum my true weight. I'm tall so people don't believe how overweight I am. I carry it well but on the flip side I don't show much when I lose. I have about 9 stone to lose but even when I look in the mirror I think I look more like 5 stone to go if that makes sense. I have never ever told another "real life" person my weight bar slimming class leader/cdc when I did cambridge. I can't even bear to tell my o/h and hide my SW books in case he sees and doesn't find me attractive any more. which is so silly! He isn't blind, he knows I have a weight problem.

"A thousand fleas in her knickers"!!!!!!!

That did make me laugh. Fillymum, you are wicked.

avisk said:

"A thousand fleas in her knickers"!!!!!!!

That did make me laugh. Fillymum, you are wicked.

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Wicked is good !!!!!

xxxx