CD Returner Returning Diary

Narkyknickers

Come on girl!
Well what a disaster that was. I have previously used LL (lost 3.5 stone) and then last year used CD (lost 3 stone) after putting all the weight back on the first time. I found it very difficult to get my backside into gear last year, i think you think that these diets and similar are an easy way out - omitting the problem of food -, my LL councellor told me that she found it really hard to get back on the diet after having a break, but boy do i now know what she means. Once you have done this once you think you can do it anytime, because you think "oh i can do something about this anytime i want cos i know a magic formula" and i suppose you can and there is a magic formula. The problem that i find the most difficult to deal with is the pure personal struggle of putting yourself into the zone (maybe because you think you can do it anytime), and the effort that goes with it. That determind mind over matter, i can do this zone, which is not talked about in any of the brochures. These diets for me are not an easy way out and i find the first 3 weeks a living hell, but having done it before i know that i can do it and i know that that feeling doesn't last the whole of the diet, and i even know how good it feels when you start going down your wardrobe with the dress sizes? Getting into that zone is not easy anymore!

So after the build up of getting into the zone, i started my diet on 19th June, i had enough for 3 days and 1 morning shake (CD) and then the plan was for my CDC to drop off my supplies to take me through the next week. Day 3 night was feeling ok, and a little proud even, hungry but resolute and i got a call from my CDC to say that they had not delivered any stock and that she had none that she could bring me. So there wasn't much i could do about it, so i stuffed my face that evening, Tuesday (after a bacon butty) i decided i should prob try to do slimming world to keep myself in the zone, but even after buying some i didn't?

So i started again today - i think i am in the zone, but to keep me there i booked a holiday to Portugal last night (14 weeks about right me thinks) and hopefully that feeling that i had when i went 2 years ago of feeling so fat and out of control will keep me on the straight and narrow??? Because if that doesn't nothing will!!!!

So here is to the end of day one for now x :8855::wave_cry:
 
Well, its the end of day 1 again. Done 4 litres of water today I doing CD SS (my LLC used to say the more you drink the more you shrink) i like to start at 4L and then try build up 1 a week. Feeling a bit headachey. I usually have 1 shake in a morning and then one at tea time and one at about 8pm. I only really like the chocolate ones so that is what i tend to stick to (bars on order for next week) night time is my absolute worst. I have come home made OHs tea and then ironed and done a bit of tidying. This world cup is a nightmare for any CD'ers who need to watch either interesting or mind dumbingly boring tv just to "take their mind off it" So as you guessed footie is on and i on here. I have bought the CD diet book, have picked it up a few times but really need to have a proper read, its the success stories i have flicked through the most (i lost 5 stone and have kept it off for 10 years etc) which might help for the lower points, as anyone who is returning to CD knows there are some in the beginning. Going to go to bed soon and avoid everything cos it will mean first day over, and i can then start to think about day 2. How are you all doing?
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Hi Karen , where in portugal are you going ?
so 14 weeks , I was just reading a thread by a woman on LL who has lost 4 stone and 7 pounds in 16 weeks , so shows you it can be done .
I was in portugal dec and Jan .
 
Hi MsJMC

Thanks for posting. I have lost 3.5 stone in 12 weeks on my first shot at LL, so i know if i stick 100% (i never ever cheated the whole time on LL) i know i can do it.

I am going to Alvor - its a 4* hotel on the beach (got a really good deal), have stayed there before so i know just what it is like.

Trying to hold on to the disgust i felt with myself when i went last (same weight as i am now) and looking at everyone in shorts, strappy tops etc, i am hoping that will spur me on lol x

How are you doing?
 
Hi Karen
Keep hold of that thought , where by everyone in their shorts .
For me its a new start again of CD , after seeing that post of the woman on LL losing that has made me have a rethink to go for it again , now my plan , is to make it 16 weeks on CD for my holiday , I am just having cappuccino mix a mousse , its lovely , I have a way to go , but think i'm going to do this by lucky 7 's , i'm 223 again and just 2 weeks ago i was 216 so its back in the CD zone
 
Hey, i watched that program on Style Network called Ruby, her therapist said that the definition of insantity was wanting to change, but keeping everything the same! I suppose that is food for thought
 
yes very insane , keeping things the same and thinking it will change .
How much are you hoping to lose by the time of your holiday , think about the shops you will shop in and the ones you do now , will you change that ?
 
No, the one thing i don't need is clothes.........i have 2 walls of wardrobes full of them (mostly 14s), i only shop at asda for my 'fat' clothes, i don't spend too much time looking at them and its more a case of what will fit. But even WHEN i get down my weight i do not need to buy any more clothes, i have loads of them. i must have 6 pairs of jeans, bought last year when i was doing CD (lost 3 stone) that have hardly been worn because i put my weight back on.

How are you doing with the diet?

Where did you go in Portugal? We are going to watch the golf while we are there, i am a bit of an avid golf watcher and i want to play when i grow down for exercise.

I am hoping to lost about 3 1/2, any more be a complete bonus. I not doing bad today i just finished my 3rd litre of water.

It really is the thought of the holiday that is spurring me on
 
:eek::eek: - Day 2

Well i went for it today and have drank 6L of water, i have a headache and boy do i feel narky. Its not helping that i not sleeping very well because of the heat.

Feel quite proud that i came home made OHs tea and didn't even feel tempted, until i smelt it. I even sat down with him at the table and had my chocolate shake whilst we had a chat about our day, felt quite lethargic to be honest but its the way its got to be. I was in can't be bothered mode but i kept going and did some cleaning and some ironing.

I haven't told anyone at work what diet i am doing because they saw me lose weight last year (didn't tell them then either) and put it back on. I am not going to justify myself to anyone, we go through enough the first few weeks without people giving you a hard time - is not healthy blah blah blah.

Since i lost weight 4 years ago on LL i have tried both WW, i lost 6lb in 6 month which when you stick to it 100% is not very incouraging, i know it weight better off than on but despite losing stones on WW before LL it just wouldn't shift, a few months ago both my partner and i went on SW, he lost 10lb the first week and 2lb a week after, i lost 2 1/2 lb the first week and nothing after, even the SWC was asking what i was doing wrong, keep a diary etc. Thing is when you know that you are sticking to it to the letter, and its working for someone else its really really de-motivating. So i decided the only way to go to see results was CD (LL just too expensive).

I know i need to look at my reasons for keeping on gaining it all(plus some) LL teaches you to look at these things and i know its all self sabotage, so i know the reasons why but i need to work to change the behaviour.

To try to combat this i tried hypnosis to stop me from overeating but it didn't seem to work. Maybe i should try it when i have got to goal?

Day 3 tomorrow, that is usually the worst for me, along with day 4. Already made plans to keep myself occupied when i get home. It helps that the enviroment i work in you are not allowed any food and drink (water only from the dispenser) so i am not surrounded by it.

I haven't picked up my CD book yet will have to try, that may have some answers?

Don't know if anyone reads this but it sure helps me to get down my thoughts and feelings.

Here's to tomorrow and a new day.:rolleyes:
 
I'm reading Karen , so just keep typing ok :)
I went to Armacao de Pera, its nice , but not enough to do there , must really look more than what the hotel looks like really , hotel was lovely on the beach .
your CD book , you will find a time when you want to read it .
so you and hubby had a chat at dinner time that was good , they say thats the best time to chat .
With CD its going ok , but I know by day 3 and 4 its not good .
So you have good reason to keep at CD to get back into them clothes . People at work will ask Q once they see the weight loss , but your just cutting back a bit aren't you ? lol
Hey brill theres plenty of water and nothing else at work .
hypnosis , I guess when you get to goal you will know the answer to that Q , I have often thought about that , wondering how much and does it work .
Day 3 for you , yes day counting hehe , wonder when we stop counting the days ... then we count the weeks .
Well Done on LL before and this time hoping its a breeze for you .
WE will have to keep an eye out for eachother on here ok .
I am off to Turkey oct so need to also feel weightless too :)
 
Lucky 7 BTW are the half stone mark ... thats why they are lucky I need 8 lucky 7's hehe
 
:(:(:( Day 3

Well almost the end of day 3 and boy am i cranky, have drank 7L of water today because it just gave me something to concentrate on.

During the day today at work i swear i could literally smell food, not sure why but i know its in my head, i could physically smell tuna, buttered toast and sardine and tomato paste (well weird when there is no food allowed in our building).

My tummy been rumbling today (not suprised if my nose has been having hallucinations) and i got on the scales this morning to find i put 1/2 on. It is coming up to TOTM so i need to give myself a break, i always retain water the week before i am due so maybe it was a bad time to start? Started taking water tablets yesterday as i always used to have to do that before.

i know you have to take it one day at a time, but i just wish i could be into week 4, i know all these things start to get better and there is a new found energy.

I have only just sat down OH had cheeseburger and chips for tea i had to open all the windows in the house but i didn't cheat and i have just shown him how to make a shake so he can make mine.

Friday tomorrow, day 4, i remember from before that weekends are well boring so i have allocated a few cupboards to clean out. Yes, stimulating i know but will occupy me.

Hope you are all doing ok, stick with it, we know its worth it x
 
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Hi MsJMC (sorry don't know your name)

Not heard of Armacao de Pera. I been to Alvor before and its quiet a lovely beach and some nice restaurants in the centre, but as with anywhere when you go abroad i suppose its only a base. We going to hire a car this time so need to do a bit of research- have you ever driven abroad, any tips.

Still not picked up my CD book, but i will just finding it a bit difficult to hold my concentration.

Didn't sit with OH tonight as he had cheeseburger and chips, who do you have for support? Are you being supported at home?

What day are you on in CD now? how you finding it, are you managing to drink enough, it doesn't really bother me drinking so much its something to focus on. I remember being on LL previously and i cooked Xmas dinner for the family i didn't touch a thing, i drank 10L of water that day just to keep me focused (never did that much in a day before or since) but it was just a little goal for the day. I lost 5lb that week, unheard of for me losing weight over xmas - i jumped for joy when i was at my WI.

How much you want to lose hun? Are you looking forward to your holiday?

I have been invited out to the races and to a work dinner tomorrow night but i not going to go to either, firstly because i have nothing to wear cos i feel like a FB (fluffy baby) and its ladies day, and the other i am not going to because i don't want to eat anything and i don't want to feel awkward, its difficult enough as it is on day 4.

Hope you have had a good day.
 
i feel really really rough right now, the awful taste in my mouth is making me feel sick and i am so lethargic? Just had a shake, i don't usually have one till 6 and hoping that will bring me round. I hate day for blues they suck OHs gone out, we were both supposed to go to races and he wanted to stay in with me cos i feel bad but i made him go, probably better off in on my own feeling sorry for myself :cry::sigh:
 
Worst day

As i mentioned earlier i feel really rubbish today and don't think i will be long out of bed, have drank 6L of water today so glad about that. I feel so bad, and the fact that it is so hot, i sat here sweating. Can't wait for Tuesday when i can chew. Just a short one for today cos i just want to - well i not even sure what i really want to do?

Hope your all doing ok out there.
 
Well, i feel really bad, i felt so physically crap that i had a CD bar, i know they don't advise it in the first week but i just had to, my head was pounding and everytime i moved i felt like the the room was spinning. Do feel a little better in myself but i feel like i have betrayed myself, hope it won't affect my loss this week, does anyone know if it will?
 
Nah - you should be fine - better to have a bar and stick with it!!!

Feel better soon

xx

PS Loving your user name :D
 
hi still here , Just catching up as yesterday didn't touch the PC ...
Karen , I'm Jackie BTW ...
Lets just read back on your posts and answer some of them ... be right back lol
 
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