Yo-Yo Does WW

Hello to anyone who might read this

I feel like such a fraud. I'm forever starting diets and diaries only to fall off the wagon and abandon them but I've just signed up to WW online for the 12 week option so I want to see if I can stick to it for at least that.

I've woken up today at 14st 8.2lbs and I'm sick to death of being this heavy and would like to lose around four stones, which sounds like such an enormous amount to lose, so after a few days (or weeks if I am good) I just lose heart and think negative thoughts that it's just never gonna happen and give up.

After a few days where I have lost all the glycogen I unfortunately start feeling slim so inevitably think "I'm cured", stop counting calories (or whatever diet I am doing that week) and then my portion sizes get bigger and I start "forgetting" about things I have eaten yet cant understand why the weight goes back on!!

I'm at that stupid inbetween clothes sizes stage where a 16 is too tight but an 18 is too large. I daren't order anything on line because I don't know what size to order. Saying that I tried some cropped jeans in a 16 in New Look, which I couldn't get fastened up, yet a size 16 in Dotty P's was a much better fit so I cant even buy stuff without trying them on.

I also seem to own the world's best mirrors at home as when I look in them, I look slim, and it's only when I am out and about looking in mirrors in shops or windows that I realise just how fat and flabby I look.

Unfortunately I eat when I am bored, miserable, happy, sad - the only time I lose my appetite is when I am very worried about something and then I lose my appetite, but I don't want to have to lose weight by being worried to death about something!

I'm hating my job at the moment (have been seconded to another project and taken away from everything I enjoy) so I'm eating quite a lot at the moment. The only positive spin on the job is that it's 1.6 miles away and I have no choice but to walk home, so that's 30 minutes of walking I have to do or else I cant get home. I have asked my old boss to ask the new boss if they can have me back as they're struggling without me, but I wont know the answer until it happens and I don't know when Old boss will be able to speak to new one as he wants to do it face to face not over the phone or via e-mail. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I've done so many faddy diets (and non-faddy ones) but they always seem to end with me putting weight straight back on, it's so depressing. I spent the best part of £1k doing Lighter Life four years ago only to lose three stones, yet put that three stones back on within a year of finishing and adding another stone for good luck!

I've got black binliners of clothes ranging from a size 10 through to a size 18 and I dare not give any of them away to charity shop "just in case I miraculously lose four stones"

If I dont go back to old job then I have 22 weeks left in the new job so I would like to put it to some use, so I can go back to old job and not be the fattest person in the office - well, I am 3rd biggest at the moment, but 2nd biggest seems to be losing weight so if I don't do anything then I could move up to 2nd place when I go back!

Anyway, I will try and post each day, and have nominated my weigh-in day to be Sunday as I tend to wake up at the same time every Sunday so it should be accurate.

Speak to you later

WW is a really healthy way to teach you about portion sizes etc and i think itll really help you get your head into a better place. hope your job worries sort themselves out soon, but for now just try keeping your head in a positive place and i'm sure you will see a move in the right direction xx

Day 1

Oh dear, not a great start. I did okay in the morning and started the day off with a bowl of muesli and semi-skimmed milk, which was about 5 points unfortunately after that things went downhill in the afternoon because I was hideously bored. Can't remember what I had but large blueberry muffins featured heavily. Thankfully there is only one left which I am going to force feed to eldest DS so it's out of the way of temptation.

I'm not going to give up though, I might have lost yesterday's battle but I haven't lost the war.

Day 2

Another bad day but at least I tracked it! I wasn't going to, but then I thought to myself that I had paid £32 for this blooming 12 week subscription to WW so the best thing I could do was to use it!

Breakfast: 2 slices of toasted "Hovis Best of Both" with sunflower spread = 3.5 points

Lunch: Didn't have any because we went to the cinema over lunchtime. Unfortunately we got popcorn, which I just couldn't resist. We shared a big bag between three of us and I have searched everywhere but cant find what the weight of a big bag is, so I have guesstimated a bag of Butterkist popcorn at 100g to be 7 points.

Dinner: 1 x Chinese style Pork steak, 50g chips, 3 onion rings and salad with mayonnaise = 10 points.

After dinner this is where it went horribly wrong. I had a large choc-chip muffin and 3 Malteaster bunnies which was 16 points in total.

Total allowance: 23 points
Actual consumed: 36.5 points
Over by: 13.5 points. EEEEEKKKK

Weight today was 0.2lbs less than yesterday though so no damage done thankfully. I think during the school holidays with not having a routine I get bored so maybe I need to go for damage limitation this week rather than a loss?

Yo-yo dieter, I can completely relate to you. After reading your first post I thought it was me who'd wrote it! It's quite reassuring to know that other people are going through the same thing.
I'm in the exact same position, weighing 14st5lbs, I joined WW today. I have chosen the meeting option, I'm hoping that having to be weighed by a stranger will motivate me that bit more. I'm absolutely useless at diets, usually after a week of trying I decide it's not gonna work and I'm supposed to be this size. When I do exercise, I convince myself it's gonna bulk me up and make look bigger, so I quit. Excuses eh? I think most of the time I'm in denial about how much I weigh, and surround myself with mirrors that seem to make me look smaller too. I'll then be out and about and catch myself in a car window reflection and I'll just end up going home feeling deflated and vile. It's horrible isn't it! I just bloody love food though. I also eat whatever my mood might be.
I'm feeling quite motivated at the moment and will be starting tomorrow. I'm here if you wanna talk/whinge! Keep at it girl, and put the muffins down! You can do it.

Sophie.
X

Hi YoYo, thanks for the post in my diary! I am totally up for a race :sign0151: lets go for it....no more of that evening snacking for you!! (yeah ok or me)lol

Am I motivating you yet? I'm just going to put MTV Dance on the telly and do some dancing for an hour....kick some of my own fat butt round the living room:8855:
How are things today?

kitty xxx

Hi, I can totally relate to you. My weight has always fluctuated too from my lowest in last few years of 11stone to 14stone. A month ago I joined ww and have managed to lose 11 pounds. I know this time has to be different because im mentally and physically exhausted from going on and off diets and my self confidence has nose dived over the years. Im 37 since July and its make or break for me now because i know after 40 that the weight will be harder again to lose. This time, Im being realistic and know i have to make longterm changes and that ive to stick at a healthy diet for life. I think Im ready to be kind to myself and get rid of this weight once and for all. Im wishing you the best of luck coz your story sounds similar to mine. We can do this for once and for all and keep the weight off. We deserve it after years of what I call abusing ourselves. Good luck to you hun, I hope all goes great for you and remember youre not the only one like this and you are not alone. All the best hun. xxx