KookieDoh
Ugly duckling going Swan.
Hi, I am brand spanking new.....
I never know how to do these introduction things so I will just tell you my story. Get the background bit over with!
I am a emotional eater. I have been suffering from extreme low self esteem since childhood. I have always seen myself as deformed and freakish facially starting from a very early age. Little did I know and have recently discovered, I suffer from a condition called BDD meaning when I look in the mirror, I see a very warped image of myself. Most people think BDD sufferers don't eat but you are just as likely to over eat as under eat! It's been a terrible cycle over the years. I gain weight because I feel deformed and I feel more deformed when I gain weight so I eat. I have tried to lose weight in the past and got fairly far but when I "realise" it does no good because it wouldn't change my face, I would reach for the food again and gain more weight. At the moment I am the biggest I have ever been, over 17st. This weight has jumped up because my mental condition has also and I am now mostly housebound due to crippling agorphobia brought on by the condition and I rely a lot on my family to look after me.
I have a better chance now to lose weight because unlike in the past, I now know I have this condition and I am getting some help for it which I never got in the past so I finally have a support system. I feel that if I can lose the weight, I can boost my confidence as well has helping me get over the agoraphobia side of my condition as maybe if I have a nicer body, I won't over worry about the "focus" on my face when I go out.
I also have another insentive. I have a very noticeable "uneveness" in my physical shape that doesn't help my confidence issues that could also be corrected via weightloss. Although my doctor and a surgeon despite my mental state have reccomended corrective surgery, my PCT can turn me down on the grounds of my weight and how it may be affecting it. Worse case, I am still uneven, I can be approved for surgery (I know it's not a perfect solution and trust me, I would really rather avoid it but I wouldn't be so quick to turn it down ether) and best case, the issue is solved without a knife in sight! Would prefer that to be honest.
My goal is to get to about 11st for Christmas day 2010. My doctor and I think that is rather achiveable - roughly 2 pound a week loss allowing for the odd week my weight may stick. Am starting from Saturday. A bit strange I know but I want to give myself a ease in!
Food wise, I am following the slimming world plan. I have tried other diets in the past and I think slimming world is good because of the superfree and free foods meaning I can fill myself up and I also want to eat for health so I like the way it has the extras and it's something I can see myself following for life which is important as I do get that changes must be made for life, not just until you are done.
Exercise wise, I have an wealth of DVDs and stuff from past attempts so I don't have to struggle with that and as I get braver to go out, I have a leisure centre on my doorstep!
Okay, I should wrap this up! A quick bit about me. I like music, retro fashion, and cute designs and my food weaknesses are KFC, sandwiches, cupcakes, and chocolate. I am very immature for my age which I apologise for in advance because of my sense of humour! I choose this forum to try because I have been online before and some forums to be honest are nasty and troll infested so I like the safe guards here and I can be pretty anonymous here!
Sorry to bang on!
I never know how to do these introduction things so I will just tell you my story. Get the background bit over with!
I am a emotional eater. I have been suffering from extreme low self esteem since childhood. I have always seen myself as deformed and freakish facially starting from a very early age. Little did I know and have recently discovered, I suffer from a condition called BDD meaning when I look in the mirror, I see a very warped image of myself. Most people think BDD sufferers don't eat but you are just as likely to over eat as under eat! It's been a terrible cycle over the years. I gain weight because I feel deformed and I feel more deformed when I gain weight so I eat. I have tried to lose weight in the past and got fairly far but when I "realise" it does no good because it wouldn't change my face, I would reach for the food again and gain more weight. At the moment I am the biggest I have ever been, over 17st. This weight has jumped up because my mental condition has also and I am now mostly housebound due to crippling agorphobia brought on by the condition and I rely a lot on my family to look after me.
I have a better chance now to lose weight because unlike in the past, I now know I have this condition and I am getting some help for it which I never got in the past so I finally have a support system. I feel that if I can lose the weight, I can boost my confidence as well has helping me get over the agoraphobia side of my condition as maybe if I have a nicer body, I won't over worry about the "focus" on my face when I go out.
I also have another insentive. I have a very noticeable "uneveness" in my physical shape that doesn't help my confidence issues that could also be corrected via weightloss. Although my doctor and a surgeon despite my mental state have reccomended corrective surgery, my PCT can turn me down on the grounds of my weight and how it may be affecting it. Worse case, I am still uneven, I can be approved for surgery (I know it's not a perfect solution and trust me, I would really rather avoid it but I wouldn't be so quick to turn it down ether) and best case, the issue is solved without a knife in sight! Would prefer that to be honest.
My goal is to get to about 11st for Christmas day 2010. My doctor and I think that is rather achiveable - roughly 2 pound a week loss allowing for the odd week my weight may stick. Am starting from Saturday. A bit strange I know but I want to give myself a ease in!
Food wise, I am following the slimming world plan. I have tried other diets in the past and I think slimming world is good because of the superfree and free foods meaning I can fill myself up and I also want to eat for health so I like the way it has the extras and it's something I can see myself following for life which is important as I do get that changes must be made for life, not just until you are done.
Exercise wise, I have an wealth of DVDs and stuff from past attempts so I don't have to struggle with that and as I get braver to go out, I have a leisure centre on my doorstep!
Okay, I should wrap this up! A quick bit about me. I like music, retro fashion, and cute designs and my food weaknesses are KFC, sandwiches, cupcakes, and chocolate. I am very immature for my age which I apologise for in advance because of my sense of humour! I choose this forum to try because I have been online before and some forums to be honest are nasty and troll infested so I like the safe guards here and I can be pretty anonymous here!
Sorry to bang on!
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