Self sabotage or loss of control........?

Kira

Gold Member
I've been successful in moving from SS to 810 with one blip but I moved on.

However, last night day 77 I had a moment of madness. I can't figure out if it was loss of control or was I simply self sabotaging myself because I was so close to breaking the 9st barrier?

I can only describe last night's binge on almonds, peanuts, cheese and crackers and a tiny piece of chocolate cake as a "food bender". Whilst I know I shouldn't compare it to someone with a drug of alcohol addiction for me it is the only comparision I can draw for me to accept I need to sort my head issues out. I have a long way to go in that regard perhaps the rest of my life.

I didn't enjoy the food, I didn't enjoy feeling more and more stuffed as I shoved (and I mean shoved cheese and crackers, nuts into my mouth). As a consequence, my stomach feel bloated and tender this morning.

So I am re-starting my re-start today which would have been day 78 on CD. I guess I'll keep counting the days anyway.
I am sharing this because I hope this will help anyone out there who suddenly find themselves teetering on a precipe.

I am not going to feel sorry for myself, I am not looking for sympathy. I allowed myself to lose control and will I take responsibility for my actions and I will start again today.
 
I've just moved from ss+ to 810 and have found that my food cravings have increased somewhat, so could it be that your mind/body/taste buds are playing tricks with you and making you think that you're craving stuff? I've really noticed a difference compared to when I was ss+ and I'm definitely a bit hungrier than I've been over the last few months. I guess it's all part of getting our body ready to move up the steps and confront eating again. You've done the right thing by getting back on 810 today. Don't think of this as a monumental blip as so long as you stay on track and drink plenty of water you can just use it as a learning curve. Keep going - you've done great so far!
 
You have done really well and I can only imagine that its the hunger coming back now that you are going up the plans. Just learn from it and keep going xx
 
Thanks to all of you who have posted!!! I have to admit I felt the same overwhelming feeling of literally wanting to stuff my face as soon as I got home. I confess too that one the way home in the car my head was almost willing me to eat anything when I got home. The first good thing I did was have my CD soup followed by glass of hot water and then switch on computer to log on here! I am so glad I did that as you have all saved me from the fight I would have had with my head telling me to stuff my face for solace of having fallen of the waggon yesterday....you know the usual cycle of, I've blown it I may as well continue.

I am feeling in control and stomach feels comfortably full. You posts have brought a new determination to keep going.
 
The reasons so many diets fail is because they are soley physical based....they never address the EMOTIONAL side of dieting, food, or self image.

If it was as simple as 'just dont eat' then when ketosis had kicked in, none of us would cheat. physically, our body doesnt even want the food anymore. we cheat because of the emotional factors and connections with food.

You need to evaluate your relationship with food, especially if your now reintroducing it into your diet. You say you didnt even enjoy the food.....maybe you ate because you felt like you deserved it. maybe you felt like because you were so close to goal it wouldnt matter.

i mean..to be a bit personal, my food issues come from the fact i come from a very poor family that had alot of trouble, and so any little money we had my mum would treat us with nice food. sometimes we wouldnt have dinner for a few days. or if something crap happened at home, mum would make it up with nice food. so even thpugh im now 26 with a job and money and am happy, i still feel like i need to make sure theres food in my cupboards and i eat to make myself happy.

i know thats quite personal but its an insight to why you have to look at your thoughts at food. its a scientfic fact thin folk dont look at food as emotionally we we overweighters do!

and most of all, dont beat yourself up about it!
 
Back
Top