Meh...

Cookeh

Recovering Cookie Addict
Day 21 today and still going strong, as far as sticking to LT is concerned I am sailing through it so there's no problem there.

The problem I'm having is multi factored.


  • My days are short and I'm not managing to drink all my water
  • My days are short and I'm not managing to drink all my shakes
  • I'm confined to my flat most days and am getting ZERO exercise and it's affecting my losses
  • Despite taking laxatives every day I'm still only *going* once a week

A loss is a loss, sure it is, but when living on such a VLCD you do expect to lose more than you would on other plans, right, otherwise, why bother with something so extreme?

I have no intention of stopping LT, not eating is actually good for me and gives me the control I need to lose weight however, my mind is stuck on the need to be more active and this causes a problem. When I went out these past 2 Saturdays to get weighed at the pharmacy I had funny turns. This last one lasted hours and was in a constant pre-faint state all day (and I did have my shakes that day). I'm a fainter anyway, have been all my life, so I do have to be very careful.

*asks that you all get the violins out for this next part...* =P

The thing is I have no friends in real life, all my friends are online - considering I spend my life indoors this is hardly surprising. I've not been able to work for 4 years and I moved to England when I married my husband and have, due to lack of work, been unable to make "real world" friends as he is not the sociable type and spends his time online also (a long story) and I don't have the opportunity to meet people. I also have no family contact, I am estranged from my own family and my inlaws rarely keep in touch and never visit. My marriage is at an end, has been for a couple of years actually, and I NEED to lose this weight so I can be *me* again, does that make sense? I have no self confidence and when I look in a mirror (i don't even own one) I don't recognise the huge fat person that stares back at me, I can't relate to her, that's not me and I can't accept that.

This is why I have to do this, for me, to release me from this life I have made for myself and start living the life that I actually want and deserve however, I cannot do that until I lose the weight. I can't explain it, it just is that way. I feel confident that I can lose it this time around however, taking such a drastic measure and seeing only 2lbs a week down on the scales is undeniably heart breaking - I had thought this would get the weight off *the quick way*.

*sighs*

Oh well, I know what I need to do, water, shakes, exercise, seems easy when you say it like that doesn't it, but somehow, in reality, I am struggling with it =(

Anyway, so sorry this turned into a bit of a novel, it just came flooding out when I started typing but I do feel better for having vocalised my thoughts, so thanks for listening.

*goes off to open a bottle of water and do her best to drink it before bed*

^.^
 
1. You really shouldnt be taking laxatives everyday!!! :eek: I think this can actually cause a 'blockage'. Stop right now. What lax do you take? I found ducolax the best to use.

There is nothing wrong with online friends - i have many on here and few in 'real' life. All that matters is that you find people you are able to talk to and consider a friend. I dont have many because i like a close knit circle, i like to be able to trust fully every single one of my friends hense the fact i dont have very many. But you know everyone on here is here for you :hug99:
 
This is why I have to do this, for me, to release me from this life I have made for myself and start living the life that I actually want and deserve however, I cannot do that until I lose the weight. I can't explain it, it just is that way. I feel confident that I can lose it this time around however, taking such a drastic measure and seeing only 2lbs a week down on the scales is undeniably heart breaking - I had thought this would get the weight off *the quick way*.

(meant to put this in my last reply) ... there is no 'quick' way! 2lbs loss a week is fantastic! Thats 2lbs of pure fat off your body.

I understand you wanting to do this for you, and clearly you do too. Trust me you will ooze confidence once you feel happy within yourself. Keep your chin up lover :) x
 
Thanks for the reassurance Summer, I appreciate it. As for the laxatives, they are prescribed since I also have to take a series of medications that have a constipating effect -.- The one I have is called Ducosate (the active ingredient in a lot of over the counter brands i believe) and is a combination stool softener and quickens the bowel. My bowel is a bit lazy, has been for years, but it's just something I have to live with. At least I'm not going once every 2 weeks I suppose, have been there before and never ever want to go back to agony like that! Thankfully I'm not actually in any pain with not going, in fact, I don't even feel the *need* to go. Perhaps that's part of the problem, I'm not sure. I have a scheduled doctor's appointment in a month, I'll certainly mention it to her when I go if it continues being an issue.
 
hun,you are doing great.
i wouldn't say your losses are small at all.
i think your toilet issues may not help with bigger losses and i have lost 2lb a few times but been back to 4lb or so the following week.
maybe your body will lose the weight erratically for a while,but it's still coming off.

nothing wrong with online friends either.sometimes you can open up more to them because they don't know you.
must be hard though not having someone to chat with in person.

could you maybe offer a few hours to a charity shop for example?maybe then you can meet a few new people.

you defo need your confidence boosting hun.
sorry your marriage is at an end too.
hopefully when you have lost a bit more weight you will start to feel better about yourself and proud of how you are managing to do something which will make you happy.

could your other meds be affecting your losses?

anyway,i'm glad you could get things off your chest.you obviously needed to.
you know we are here to listen.
big hugs xx
 
HI hun im sorry you are having a difficult time. I wont repeat wat Tanya and Joanne said but they are dead right.

im sorry to say only YOU can make ur day longer. Getting up early goin for a walk (anywhere) come home walk up and down the stairs keep moving of course your goin to be dizzy wen you go out its coz first of all your not used to being any way active so its gonna take a while to get dere and the other you have less sugar to work with so your body is a bit off i find myself getting dizzy alot some days. Just drink up your water.

Your medication mite be affecting your losses so i wud defo say it to your doctor and i only 'go' once a week but i feel like i need to everyday its horrible at least you arent in pain. Maybe try the flapjacks???? i tink they are yuck but somepeople like them and they help with the not goin haha!

I dont have many close friends either ive been burnt so times i barely trust anyone. I have friends who i see maybe twice a year dats it. You dont need friends to get out. Just get out anywhere it will lengthen your day and as you dont do much on the exercise front a short walk mite do wonders for you. Although ive noticed the less i do the more i lose haha!

On the husband front im really sorry its at an end but he doesnt seem dat great for you if you want to start being more social. Losing weight will help you on your way to finding some confidence. Lt lets you grap a hold of your life and take control and thats wat your doing so take a step get up early go for a walk and continue doing anything even stand for a while when your on the internet just moving burns calories.

I really hope you feel better and stop tinking about small losses they will even out in the end the point is you are gonna get there. xxxxxx
 
Hi cookeh, like I said in another post good to see you back on here, I was wondering where you have been. Its good to have online friends especially cos you dont know people where you live. I see you are from the Northwest, which area? I live near Manchester which is classed as North west.

I'm not going to repeat the advise given by the others cos Its good advice, but as Joanne said maybe volunteer in a charity shop. Even if you cant work because of health reasons they would be glad for any help you could give and it would get you out and meeting people.

I've got 4 grown up kids, the youngest 16 and had another baby 16 months ago. Before the baby I worked with a couple of really good friends of mine so going to work was like a night out for me. My baby has been ill so I dont want to leave her with anyone so cant go back to work, and I started to feel isolated cos all my friends work cos their kids are all older. I plucked up the courage to go to a mother and toddler group on my own and for the 1st few times, I sat there like a real lemon cos I didnt know anyone. Then I got talking to people and now we go to 4 groups a week and I chat to everyone and go for coffee with 1 girl and our babies play together. I know Its different cos Ive got my babe but I still had to make that 1st move and go out of my comfort zone. Its scary but once your confidence grows with your weight loss, you may feel able to start meeting people.

Sorry to hear about your marriage problems. My 1st marriage was a nightmare and when It ended I was terrified and alone with 4 kids but that left me in a position to meet some one else. I did meet my lovely hubby who Im very happy with (and hes 11 years younger than me) and we have been together for 9 years now and have our beautifull baby girl. Sorry if Im waffeling but what I'm trying to say is you never know what is around the corner for you, and you are taking the first steps to taking control of your life by doing this diet. Better things are on the way. Never give up hope!!! good luck for your next weigh in xxx
 
Awwww Cookeh *huge hugs* darlin.

You'll have to manage your time better. You MUST drink your daily quota of water, and you DEFINITELY have to drink all your shakes! Make a schedule of your day. Break it up into half hour segments. For each half hour find something to do. May it be a walk to the local shop/park, hoover the house, washing, ironing etc. Find something to do to keep you busy. Put sips of water every 15 minutes into the schedule. Always carry a water bottle, make it an extension of your arm! Have a shake in the morning when you get up, a shake for lunch, and a shake for dinner. Think of the shakes as medicine, something you have to take in order to survive.

Exercise is absolutely fantastic! I can not recommend it enough. The buzz you get after you've exerted yourself is amazing. Such a feel good factor. I think it is definitely something you need right now. You need to feel good. Start by gentle brisk walking, that gets the adrenaline pumping. Join a local gym. I go to an all ladies gym, and it's fantastic. Have you got a ladies gym near you? The support and friendship you'll get in there will help greatly.

By reading your post I can tell that your confidence is rock bottom. You HAVE to get that back. Losing the weight will only give you part of the confidence back. You need to sort out your relationship/friendship/family problems asap. As those problems will still be there when you're slim. Sit your Hubby down and tell him exactly how you feel. Don't hide the fact you're unhappy, as that will eat you up inside and make you feel so much worse. You can only find you again when you conscience and heart is clear and open and free from guilt.

Online friends are brilliant! Nothing wrong with that! Everyone here always wants the best for people. They care, as they know exactly what you're going through. Unburdening here is a step in the right direction. Now you need to unburden at home.

Always here if you need to talk.

X
 
Thank you all so much for your kind words of support, brought a tear to my eye reading your replies.

I think perhaps I didn't explain myself very well. I'm not allowed to do any kind of work so working in a charity shop is out. If I join a gym I think the DSS might have something to say about that, besides not only is it too expensive for me on benefits, there's no way I could cope with that type of exercise.

Going for a gentle walk is about the most I can manage right now in my condition and I can certainly fit that in. As for getting up early, that's not an option. I take medications that have a huge impact on my ability to wake up in the morning which is why I sleep much longer than most people (and another reason I can't work at the moment) so my days can't really be stretched.

Drinking water is something I can work on. I managed 1.5ltrs yesterday which is a step up from the 0.5ltr I had a couple of days ago. I just don't get thirsty and have never really been much of a drinker even pre LT, but am definitely trying hard.

The shakes I'm doing my best with. The problem is I've totally lost my appetite. I feel bad saying that here as I know a lot of people struggle with hunger and cravings but I mostly don't get any of that. Anyway, last few days I've had them all and am making a conscious effort to keep it that way.

My situation at home isn't something I can resolve right now, I can't really go into it all, but I know it needs sorting when the time is right for me and I'm strong enough to cope with any outcome. I am well aware that all my issues will remain when the weight has gone but what will have changed is the confidence I feel to be able to overcome them, something I don't have right now but I know it will come back.

I weighed in today and lost 2.2lbs, exactly as I suspected, and can't deny that I feel bummed about it because I know I could easily lose that on an *eating* diet. No worries though, I'm not about to give up LT, I'll keep on track and see what unfolds over the coming weeks before I make any drastic decisions. I don't see why I should give it up right now despite achieving the same weight loss I did on WW and SW etc when I have zero appetite, *that* I didn't have on those other plans heh ^.^
 
Hi cookeh, Ithink you are pretty clued up about any issues you have in your life and as you say, you will be able to deal with them when you feel strong enough. My heart goes out to you with all the meds you have to take and you have mentioned on another post, illness that you have over come. Thankfully I have never had a
 
Sorry I cut off to soon, my baby banged the screen.lol
as I was saying, thankfully I have never had a serious illness so I cannot imagine what restrictions that has on your life. Dont be hard on yourself 2 lb loss is still a loss. Your doc can prescribe gym membership on prescription which is slightly cheaper than the normal cost, its £17 a month at mine instead of £21, but the good thing about going through your doc is the scheme here called PARIS and you get so much support and personal training and regular weigh ins and you also get free swimming. I dont know if they do it in your area, and dss dont mind either.

You keep going and 10% off is great, people on here have said that to have bigger losses you need to drink loads of water so I'm gonna make an effort to do this , this week cos I also forget my shakes and dont drink enough

Heres to another successful week xxx
 
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