CBT etc

Hi everyone

I'm on LL at the moment as I feel that I would benefit from the CBT but I am concerned at the cost of it. I'm considering moving to CD but would like to know how you have dealt with your food demons and how you plan to deal with them when you are finished with CD.

Thanks.

good question/post Nellyphant. I met up with a friend who's been doing LL for the same length of time as I've been doing CD..

funny cause we bumped into each other at a party, noticed each other's weight loss (straight away - it was very obvious!).. and then sheepishly asked each other how - she said first, and then we both relaxed in the comfort that we both knew where each other was coming from!! no need for defending our choice, explaining it etc etc..

So, she was saying she'd love to try CD cause it sounds the same but cheaper.. I was saying that the comfort of a small group and CBT must be helpful.. I don't know where I'd have been without:

a) minimins for thinking through my emotions/seeing how others have dealt with the same issues

b) having a wonderful CD counsellor.. ok, so I go there, get weighed, buy my packs and go.. but, in reality, she always asks me how I'm doing, and she's such a lovely person, i could tell her anything.. it's not a counselling session, but if I happen to share with her reflections on how I'm feeling/thinking/behaving/what my body's doing, she's always interested and shares her thoughts too.. it feels ideal to me.. informal, brief, individual, honest.. I also like the fact that it's a simple human response, rather than based on some psychological model (although CBT is the bee's knees when it comes to unfolding complicated emotional patterns)

c) I have been reading all sorts of self help - NOTE - not just buying them and leaving them on my shelf like I used to do.. have you noticed that buying a book and leaving on a shelf for long enough can leave you feeling confident about the content without the effort of reading it? haha! Great! haha!! done that for years.. I've now discovered that ACTUALLY reading it is even better!! Haha! ..so, Feel the fear and do it anyway, Judith Beck's diet book, Pete Cohen, 'Lighten Up'.. have all been helping with my shift in perspective..

d) and the best thing of all for me.. simply sticking to the diet 100%, whatever the thoughts and feelings are that come up, gives me no choice but to confront the feelings, notice them, be interested in them rather than scared of them, and start looking at what they're ACTUALLY about.. eg.. I have a tricky conversation, come away feeling hurt/bruised/angry/anxious/tired/lonely etc... look for something to fill the feeling.. and I go to eat.. but I'm 100% on CD, so it's simply not an option.. so
what can I do instead?
why did I want to eat? will that sort out the feelings? How does it help?

-it will provide a distraction
-it will give me something to do
-it will feel more like fun communal eating times with family, so feel less lonely
-it will leave me feeling more loved/comforted..

these are the same sort of thoughts that the alcoholic/smoker/gambler goes through.. it's a strategy which has its benefits.. it does help quench some of the feelings/thoughts in the short term.. it's just not so helpful in the long term, and leads to actually feeling worse through the law of unintended consequences.. so..

my next thought: how do I meet my (very real) needs for
-love/company/happiness/comfort.. and not feel
-lonely/bored/angry/anxious/tired?

This is what it's all really about for me, after all.. and the combination of a,b and c above have helped me to feel safe enough to recognise that.. and that it's never actually been about food anyway.. it has always been about my relationship with myself and my reactions to my emotions/environment.. sticking with CD 100% gives me no choice but to learn this.. and my CDC, minimins, my reading and my diary have all been plenty of space and support to think through all of these.

I'm not saying this to encourage you to leave LL.. sounds like LL is a great choice.. I just know that CD has been working for me.. horses for coarses I suppose..

All the best for you, whatever you decide to do!

Love,

Vx

Thank you very much for your response. The bit about actually reading the book and not just sticking it on the shelf made me chuckle as one of the books you mentioned; Feel the fear and do it anyway; I actually own. I did start reading it but obviously wasn't in the right frame of mind as I didn't finish it.

Lots of what you said made lots of sense and I really appreciate your long reply. Thank you!

Wow sliminator, you have really been working on WHY you eat......and being aware of the thought processes (sometimes lightening quick) we go through before we eat for any other reason than hunger. You sound very focused and determined to change your whole approach to food. I just wanted to wish you well as you continue your Cd path. Nellyphant, maybe it depends what new information you are getting in the CBT portion of your LL program. If you have all the info and are aware of how to use some coping strategies you may be fine with CD as you can get the group support here on Minimins. Whatever you decide best wishes.

Just for the record, there is a free online CBT course which may help anyone thinking of swapping over. Someone mentioned it to me when I was struggling not so long ago... worth checking out?

xxx

katycakes.. think I've heard of that... might be:

livinglifetothefull

or

moodgym

they look interesting.. was it either of these? or another one? Vx

Livinglifetothefull I think. Yup!

xxx

I like the idea of CBT as I heard it can help you work through some food issues. I am going to check out the online courses. x