Friends and their influences

Sohobunny

New Member
Hi everyone,

I'm all new to this but all of the posts have really helped me get through my first 2 weeks.

Right so I've been to visit a few friends over my summer holidays and I always get the same response.....' Oh but you don't need to lose any weight'. Does anyone else get this? I also get it from people I work with as well and it really annoys me.

I hate it when people tell me that I don't need to lose weight; they don't live my life, they don't go through the upset when you have to go shopping or go out and nothing fits. They just don't understand. Most of my friends are stick thin girls with skinny legs so they have no idea what it feels like to be 'bigger'. I'm guessing they want me to stay like this so they can feel superior to me, so they will get all the guys on a night out.

And after this I barely go out anymore as I'm fed up of telling people why I'm not eating and why I can't drink, although everyone tries their hardest to get me to eat or drink alcohol. Especially my friend who I spent the last few days with....she was constantly getting me to eat something, chinese food she suggested!


Mmmmm maybe a small rant on my behalf but I just want to know if anyone else goes through this?

Thanks for everyone's support via posts(without you knowing) and keep up the amazing work. It's all so inspiring. :D

S x
 
Hey Sohobunny
Just wanted to say welcome and wish you all the best on your cd journey.. You are doing great, stick with it hon its so worth all those non eating/drinking nights out to feel so great when you get to where you want to be..
I have heard it all to be honest from friends, work colleagues, but I now just rise above it and say Im nearly there not long to go when they say surely you dont have much more to lose.. They were saying that when I was still 13 stone!!
Anyway hon Good luck your doing great x
 
Hi Sohobunny! I think thats why, this time, I haven't told anybody. No-one tells me I don't need to lose weight but I always hear 'There's no way YOU can stick to that' so this time i'm doing it without telling them so at the end I can say ' Well actually I did' :p I moved to Bournemouth six years ago and all my friends are in Birmingham so i don't have to see them often, so I can get away with it ;)
 
Thanks guys for your messages. When I used to tell people what I weight they always say you don't look like that you weigh that. I just want to scream at them I do though and it isn't fun when you have to look down at that figure, go be me for a while and then you'll see. :sigh:

Though a handful of friends have been very supportive, I'm not back at uni yet and very conscious about how people will react to my diet. Luckily I have a few friends that don't drink so I'm not concerned about that but being invited to dinner etc will be hard. I'm on SS at the mo and really don't want to lose the weight loss momentum.

If I had just some salad and maybe some sort of protein will it hinder my weight loss greatly? :confused:

Thanks again

S x
 
Its difficult when the people that are supposedly friends do not take the time to understand you, and impose their own judgements and beliefs instead of respecting your choices and feelings. If you think they will be receptive, maybe try explaining to them how you feel if you feel you need to. Come the end of the day, its your body, your choice and nobody has the right to tell you what to do, nor do you have to explain yourself to anybody. I've learned to just turn a deaf ear, or just tell them to shut up and exlain you do not want their opinions unless they can be open minded and respect your choices. I do find it especially difficult to begin to get thin people to understand, its just one of those things they just don't get at all. So, I'd stop wasting your time trying, and continue to keep up the good work. You deserve to be happy with your body, and cd is just the easiest way to get there. (notice i didn't say keep it off- lets face it, thats a different story!)
Why do people think its ok to say 'don't lose any more weight!' to us, they'd never comment that we were too fat in the first place. Social etiquette dissappears for some bizzarre reason! Keep it up, and i agree- minimins is just the best support there is.....xx
 
I think I'm the exception, all my work friends, who see me every day, are being very supportive of me.
But one friend (a nurse) was very suspicious at first, and was full of horror stories. But when I could answer all her worries she came round a little. She still not happy about CD though. She still sends me the odd email asking if I've faded away yet!:rolleyes:
Thankfully I dont see her very often cause our shifts rarely match. The thing is I thought she of all people would understand, cause she's lost a load of weight in the past & has trouble keeping it off.
I've not had anyone tell me to stop loosing weight yet, cause I'm still obviously obese, but I'm ready for when they do. That's when I'll admit what I weigh. And if that doesn't work, well I can always tell then to mind their own business! Well if they are rude enough to tell me what to do, I can be rude back!
 
Interesting witchy-poo about your particular friend, the nurse. The most resistance I came across was from friends that were nurses (the girls I trained with nearly 20 years ago). Nearly everyone else was supportive. I could speculate on various reasons, but think its possibly that we were taught to advocate conventional methods of dieting that produce slower results.
Ignore it, I met many a happy nurse attending Lighterlife when I used to follow that diet.
And a warm welcome sohobunny, we are here to understand and support your choices.
 
Back
Top