i've always been big, my dad is big, my mum was big. After my mum died my dad married a teeny tiny 5 foot 8 stone lady, who is wonderful and lovely, but he began to criticise me. I got to the weight I was because I rebelled. That and I loved food.
I got bullied in school for the way I looked. A gang of girls used to follow me around chanting 'Oh Vicky, you're so prettyyyyyyyyyy' (meaning I wasn't) - you know the type, you've seen Mean Girls - and I was just miserable. So I ate.
Now, I want to feel like I'm attractive. I know i'm nice, and that i'm fun. But I don't feel pretty and never have. I still don't feel it 8 stone down.
In January I met the most gorgeous wonderful beautiful boy I could ever wish to meet, and we fell hopelessly in love. He tells me every day that i'm beautiful. I don't really believe him yet.
I realised that I shouldn't be trying to get thin for my dad, or my brothers, or because of what those girls said or did, but for me. And that's when it first clicked. Now I am so determined to get the rest of that weight off. I want to look at myself in a full length mirror without my towel and think 'Yeah, you look good'.
Hopefully that goal is not far off if I have all my lovely new Minimin friends and friends at class to help me.