Binge Eating Disorder **Long post and food mentioned**

Hi all. Just wondering if anyone could offer some pearls of wisdom or advice please?

I recently quit CD after struggling to cope on the diet. I lost 2 stone but it took me a loooong time and CD was so difficult for me. I nibbled, I cheated, I picked and then I felt so guilty I would often miss packs (yes, I am aware how bad that it, but I couldn't help it :sigh I constantly felt ill, tired and anxious so I quit CD and decided to try WW and had a chat with my GP, who put me back onto the SSRI's (anti-depressants) and ran some more tests.

I have suffered from depression on and off since the birth of my eldest daughter 4 and a half years ago, and in that time (including one more hellish pregnancy), I have gained almost 7 stone. I am a prolific comfort eater! I always thought it was something everyone did from time to time when they felt down, but I was always down, so always eating.

I went back for a check up with my brilliant GP today, and to talk about going back onto Cambridge. She told me she thought I had Binge Eating Disorder and explained that whilst some comfort eat, people with BED will eat to the extreme. I eat or am thinking about food non-stop. I will start eating even if I am full, and carry on until the point where I feel sick. I hide food, I eat in secret, I wait until my h2b is asleep and sneak off to a drive through. I rarely eat much at mealtimes because I feel ashamed to let people see me eat more than a few mouthfuls because of my size. When I am eating, I know it is wrong, I know I want to stop but I CAN'T.... I just can't stop.

And the worst part is that whilst I consider myself a quite intelligent woman, I always thought my behaviour towards food was normal- because to me it IS the norm. "Okay, so I comfort eat, but its not so bad...." I was wrong, it seems I have an eating disorder. I always though eating disorders were for thin people!

My GP wants me to take a few days to think about everything, and then I am going back next Monday to talk about treatment. I'm feeling relieved now to know that there is help out there, but I'm not sure what to expect. It all just feels a bit overwhelming to be honest....

a place called Oa runs same way as AA

I Went to a few sessions i think can really help but if you are doing this diet i wouldnt reccomend it as not something they would encourage as they dont really encourage any diets

once u loose the weight on here good to go as like starting again

if not u should see a therapist who specialises in this

pm if you need some more adivce

Oa follows the twelve step programme

same as aa run same way

Thanks Richman. Ohh and well done on your AMAZING loss- I've seen the piccies on your sisters Facebook, you both look brilliant

What a brave thing for you to write and admit. Admitting something like this is the first step, and often the hardest. CD is (as my CDC says) the easiest and the hardest diet in the world to do. It's easy because you don;t have to think about what to eat, when to eat it, what to eat it with etc etc, but its also hard because it can be so isolating;however, I guess you've already been there on the isolation front. If you feel strong enough to do it, then go for it; it works when you stick to it. There is so much support here

Oh hun. It's a great thing that you've been able to get that all down. It's even better to know that something could help you with this.
I binged for years, it's only got easier in the last year or so but there's always that niggling voice that tells you to do it again, just this once and it's scary stuff.

You should be really proud of yourself for saying all this as you've taken the first step to getting the right help. It sounds like you have an excellent doctor and it's fantastic you've got the time and space to think about it. You also have a very supportive man there with ya and he'll help you through this.

Sending you big hugs hun xxx

Thanks very much Lu Lu

good luck i think you should look up about OA Could be very good for you

at first seems really wierd but it does all piece together the reason i stopped is i knew i wanted to get the weight off first then deal with why i always have put back on

a lot off people have this OA but they jsut dont realise

Hey hon....
I am so pleased you have been to your GP and had a good old chat with her.. its good to talk and tell someone other than family/friends how you feel and why you do things..
I really hope she helps you and you get to the bottom of why you do it etc. I believe we all do things for a reason and there is a reason behind everything.
Whether you do Cambridge or something else, I hope it works out for you hon as you so deserve it.. Sam sounds like a wonderful partner too and I know he is so supportive of you!!!
Chin up sweetie keep us posted........
lotsa love & hugs Marissa xxx

lisalulu said:

I'm feeling relieved now to know that there is help out there, but I'm not sure what to expect. It all just feels a bit overwhelming to be honest....

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There really is hope you know. I had/have BED. Haven't binged for 18 months now. I also have bipolar.

Have to admit, it took a lot for me to admit to myself, let alone on a forum, both of these things, but it really was my turning point. All the very best of luck to you.

Don't worry Lisalulu you are not alone.

First of all, well done for sharing this with us. It's a big step to take and very brave.

I have or probably still have this problem, but I also used to binge, make myself sick and then binge again....a constant circle. My GP sent me to a therapist who suggested that I should have cognitive behaviour sessions but they would be with other people, and be predominantly anorexics.........I didn't go, I was too embarrassed as I thought they would look at me in disgust at me being my weight, considering that they ‘think’ they are overweight, when in fact they are obviously not!

But the point is that they had an eating disorder too! They wouldn’t have cared if I was there, they probably wouldn’t have noticed. Now I wish I did go………I don’t know if it would have helped or not but I wished I had tried!

Gladly I’m not as bad as I used to be, but I still overate all the time. Secretly especially so no one would know. I was ashamed of myself but couldn’t stop! I hope that when I get my weight off I will stop but that remains to be seen! xxxx

Hey lisalulu

That must have been hard to admit to, but it's amazing how many people suffer from some form of mental illness, be it anxiety, depression or eating disorders.

Reading your post was like I'd written it. Hopefully you will get referred to somebody who specialises in treating ED's. They will sit with you and talk about how you feel and how they can help you. Your doctor sounds like mine - very supportive. I've just gone back on SSRI's yesterday (think you most a supportive message to me when I spoke about depression a month or so ago).

Take care and good luck with getting this resolved. Once people know and you start to get help, things really do get better

hi hun!

well what can i say. i am the same. i done cambridge for say bout 6 months, lost 7 stone. best thing i eva done, and also the worst. i now have an eating disorder, have to see a dietician every week and i am on the waiting list to see a psychologist. i binge alot to a point i feel sick, i have lived on laxatives, being diagnosed as buliemic and have stopped eating for days its so bad. to be honest if you have that disorder i wouldnt recommend cd for u. i think weight watchers or slimming world would work for you, which u can still eat alot of food.

if u have any questions pop me a message in me in box

good luck hun xxx

fat_2_fabulous said:

to be honest if you have that disorder i wouldnt recommend cd for u. i think weight watchers or slimming world would work for you, which u can still eat alot of food.

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Umm. I did a lot of research into BED, and I think the majority of professionals will say that you cannot begin to 'recover' until you stop dieting altogether.

I certainly found that. I knew that I had to get my weight down quick, so that I could start working on 'recovering'. It would be very hard IMO, to try to recover whilst on any diet. I'm not a professional for eating disorders, but it's usual advice I believe.

Watergirl said:

That must have been hard to admit to, but it's amazing how many people suffer from some form of mental illness, be it anxiety, depression or eating disorders.

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Or in my case, all 3! Lol! I do remember replying to your post a while back, it was that post that opened my eyes again to how low I was feeling- instead of blaming it on CD messing with my hormones. Can't believe that after more than 4 years I can still sometimes be in denial about my depression...

Thank you everyone for such supportive and informative replies. My head is still all over the place today, I don't know where to go from here. I REALLY want to sort out my problems, but I know that being the size and weight that I am is one of the major factors that makes me down and makes me eat. Its catch 22- I wanna get better AND lose the weight. I would love to do CD for 6 months, get to (or close to) goal and then start dealing with a 'recovery' but I'm not sure how I can do CD when I feel like this. Whatever I decide, the weight NEEDS to come off, as it is starting to affect my health and my family life.

KD said:

Umm. I did a lot of research into BED, and I think the majority of professionals will say that you cannot begin to 'recover' until you stop dieting altogether.

I certainly found that. I knew that I had to get my weight down quick, so that I could start working on 'recovering'. It would be very hard IMO, to try to recover whilst on any diet. I'm not a professional for eating disorders, but it's usual advice I believe

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If you don't mind me asking KD, what made you decide to do CD if it was 'against' usual advice? And how the blooming hell did you manage it?

I think KD meant that losing the weight with CD came first, and THEN dealing with the BED? KD will probably correct me if I have read it wrong!

Lisa, so brave to post this. I am the same, and it gave me shivers to read what you have written. I know I will have to fight this always, fighting a bit more than usual this week in fact. But still, CD has given me a chance to do this. It uncovered the problem for me, if that makes sense - until I began CD I was like you, imaging that BED was just normal for me, and in total denial (for like 20 years!). So CD has been a part of my path in tackling BED. But as KD says, the work begins on the steps, when food is back in picture. I know the BED is not sorted, but I am working on it.
Good luck hon on facing all of this. There are so many of us in the same situation on minis, but not everyone knows it or can post about it. Bt I think it helps to do that.
I didn't even know KD's story until reading her post above - I guess I wondered why she is so wise about these things, and that wisdom has grown from experience I guess.

Good luck Lisa, and hugs.
xxx

Ahh I re-read KDs post and it makes more sense now- I'm a bit brain mashed today. I'm amazed so many people suffer from this, I really never knew about it before. Its so easy to label somebody as just plain greedy if they are overweight or obese, yet have sympathy and understanding for people with the more widely known about eating disorders, like anorexia or bulimia.

You really are an inspiration Katy, I know how much you have been through and I suppose must be going through now. You have done so well to lose the weight hun and I'm sure, like KD, you'll tackle your 'issues' (hate that word!) and will be a superstar maintainer!

Katycakes said:

I think KD meant that losing the weight with CD came first, and THEN dealing with the BED? KD will probably correct me if I have read it wrong!

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Yep, that's right

The first book I bought when I finally pulled my head out of the sand was Christopher Fairburns Overcoming Binge Eating.

I was told he was probably one of the top experts in the world on the subject and I like to go to the top

Much of the book is about the definition of BED, causes etc. A lot on bulimia which didn't apply to me. Lots of chapters on research into the disorder. For me it was for learning about the disorder, rather than a 'cure'

The end of the book is the self help plan. He suggests dealing with the BED first, then when confident trying to lose weight.

I tried that way around, but my health and lifestyle was too poor by then, so decided to diet once and for all, then deal with the BED, then never diet again.

I didn't use his plan, took a variety of things I read and my own techniques put together from my understand of the disorder having read his book and others

Hi Lisa
I had to reply too your post as like some of the others here I could have written it too! I read a book by Gillian McKeith all about overeating and I found it excellent in it's approach to dealing with this disorder. She basically suggests that you have to give up 'dieting' and therefore rebelling and start thinking about food in terms of having choices. Each time you change your food choice it re-enforces this change in your brain and makes it easier next time, and by taking the pressure of dieting out of the equation there is nothing to rebell and feel guilty about. She also suggests lots of techniques to help with this and runs seminars. Interestingly she suggests abandoning the scales and taking out any emphasis on how you look for a while. This is because we start confusing food and image as the problem rather than a symptom. It really does make for some interesting reading.

Although I am following a 'diet' at present in CD, I feel that I am doing this to give myself a bit of head space and to lose my weight quickly as personally I want to start my new 'life' feeling healthy and well. I have to start somewhere and would rather start from healthy than not. Like you I also have suffered with bits of depression and anxiety since having my first child 4 years ago, and I am finding CD is helping to make me feel more positive and level.

The thing is this diet really is just pointless unless you are changing and thinking about how you are going to cope with real food choices. CD is a quick way of getting there and has some benefits in taking food out of the equation for a while, but you can still get to the same place by making and re-enforcing good food choices now. Maybe dealing with the 'head stuff' without CD would be right for you now.

Best of luck with everything and know that you certainly are not alone with your feelings. XXX

minibum said:

Hi Lisa
I had to reply too your post as like some of the others here I could have written it too! I read a book by Gillian McKeith all about overeating

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Do mean Gillian McKeith or Gillian Riley.

I just can't imagine Gillian McK writing something about it

The Riley book is excellent though.

:giggle:No I meant Riley!!!! Thanks KD!!! I definitely can't imagine the other one writing it!!!