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Watergirl

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Thanks Curly and Caroline for all the support and info on 1000, but I can't do it at the moment.
As you know yesterday I was upset because although I was 100% nothing was happening.

I posted a while ago about depression/anxiety and last night it all got a bit much for me and for the first time I had an unplanned cheat. Nothing too major, but I've reached the end of my tether.

I've got an appointment with my dr's this morning at 10:20 to go back on my antidepressants and I am going back on SS. I don't feel strong enough to introduce food just yet and am too far from goal, that it's made me panic, which has just made my anxiety spiral out of control. The more anxious I get the more I get unwanted, upsetting thoughts, so I need to deal with it.

Last night in bed I had a panic attack and I fell asleep feeling my heart pounding and woke up feeling the same. I'm at the point where I'm feeling completely debilated and won't be able to work if I don't do something.

So I might not be around as much if the tablets make me sleepy, which they generally do for the first couple of weeks.

Am hoping that I'll feel happier again when I'm back on SS and taking something to control the anxiety.
Thanks for everyone's advice on the depression thread a while ago - faith you suggested Cipralex, so will ask dr about that instead of Citalopram which I was on.

Sorry for long, self-indulgent post!
 
Aww sweet Liz, I am sorry to hear you are finding it hard but applaud your determination to do this. I am not far from my goal but boy do i find it hard moving up the plans and I totally understand what you mean, so I think you correctly identified what works for you and I am looking forward to hear great success stories. Big hugs you can do this lovely :D
 
Thanks Monica :)
 
Liz, i really hope you feel better soon.
I can totally sympathise about your anxiety about food - but it's really not worth having panic attacks over - you need to relax and enjoy the plan and watch the weight drop off. I hope the dr can help.
All the best babes.
Lynne
x
 
Hey Liz..
Hon just wanted to send you big hugs... Sorry you are having a hard time at the moment hon.. You need to do what is right for you and I can understand the reason you want to do ss as you feel more in control it is hard moving up it really is..
Hang in there hon, I hope the tablets help you.. and chin up!!
Lotsa love & hugs xxxx Marissa x
 
Hi LIz, I hope all goes well at the doctors, this is something I think I will fear in time as as someone who has suffered with depression I can understand your point of view.
Sending big hugs to you and hope you can get this sorted xxxx
 
Thanks Curly and Caroline for all the support and info on 1000, but I can't do it at the moment.
As you know yesterday I was upset because although I was 100% nothing was happening.

I posted a while ago about depression/anxiety and last night it all got a bit much for me and for the first time I had an unplanned cheat. Nothing too major, but I've reached the end of my tether.

I've got an appointment with my dr's this morning at 10:20 to go back on my antidepressants and I am going back on SS. I don't feel strong enough to introduce food just yet and am too far from goal, that it's made me panic, which has just made my anxiety spiral out of control. The more anxious I get the more I get unwanted, upsetting thoughts, so I need to deal with it.

Last night in bed I had a panic attack and I fell asleep feeling my heart pounding and woke up feeling the same. I'm at the point where I'm feeling completely debilated and won't be able to work if I don't do something.

So I might not be around as much if the tablets make me sleepy, which they generally do for the first couple of weeks.

Am hoping that I'll feel happier again when I'm back on SS and taking something to control the anxiety.
Thanks for everyone's advice on the depression thread a while ago - faith you suggested Cipralex, so will ask dr about that instead of Citalopram which I was on.

Sorry for long, self-indulgent post!

Sorry to hear you are feeling so unwell lovely.
I suffer from depression/panic attacks. I went on a visit to my Dr and was prescribed 'fluoxitine' Which have been fab for me, they even give me a loss of appetite - which has been good CD wise!

I hope you get your meds sorted today and start feeling much better soon.:)

Hugs x x x
 
Thanks everyone :) think I'm just feeling overwhelmed. Running business (and the added pressure of knowing I have to make money to pay people), paying bills, need to buy a new car, holiday coming up (I know they're fun, but they're also quite stressful at times).

Leaving in 15 mins for dr. Thankfully he is lovely, but I find it hard going because I know I will start crying as soon as I get in there and I hate crying in front of people. I know no-one minds, but it's just a thing I have!
 
Best to get it out in the open hun.
It's always a humiliating experience crying infront of people, let alone Dr's. But it'll be worth it hun once you start to feel better and a bit more like yourself again.

Chin up sweet.

Big HUgs x x x
 
Aww hun, sorry to hear you're having such a tough time at the moment, hope the dr is helpful, if you need to go back on tablets for the time being then so be it, just don't beat yourself up about it, I know what you mean about not having any food being better, I've been ss+ for a few days and haven't lost anything, feel really crap about it so I'm going back on ss too as I don't feel satisfied after the limited amount of 'real' food and with no loss it doesn't feel worth it!

Chin up hun, remember we are all here for you in low moments or high.
xx
 
Hey hun, you've made the right choice, definitely. You have to do what is best for you. You stay on SS as long as you need to before moving up the plans. There's no rush. We're all here for you if ever you need to talk about anything xxx
 
Aw hun, I have panic attacks too. They just started last year after moving to the other side of the country and hubby working nights for 4 months and me spending too much time in my own head. I am seeing a counsellor, which is great as I have other issues to discuss and I go about every 3 weeks.

I have the problem which I become hot, heart racing and on occasion have fainted. I can not sit still, survive on 6 hours sleep most nights and sometimes keep myself awake as I cannot shut off my brain. Also grind my teeth without knowing..... Anyway I, on the nights when I feel I have been overworked, cannot switch my brain off and starting thinking in the negative and harmful thoughts have a valium or half a one just to switch off and get to sleep.

I thought it was depression, which I had many years ago, when my father was diagnosed with cancer for the 2nd out of five time and had a very public break down at uni during a lecture. However this time I had the hot feelings and racing heart, panics.... just check with your doctor all your symptoms. Mainly I wish you good health really soon and glad you recognised the time to get help. We are all here for you and feel free to drop my a PM if you need.

Bren
XX

FORGOT TO MENTION..... GOAL IS VERY NEAR FOR YOU JUDGING BY YOUR DETAILS.

X
 
Thank you everyone for your support this morning :) it's lovely to be able to come here and get that kind of support.

Dr was lovely, gone back on my previous medication, he's also referred me to counselling. He is concerned that it might be thyroid related, so I have to go for a blood test on Wed (I don't think it is, but every time I relapse he sends me for one!)

He thinks, like I do, that it sounds like generalised anxiety disorder, so fingers crossed the tablets will kick in soon and I'll feel human again.

Already feel a lot more positive and you lot have been lovely :) xxx
 
You're gonna feel so much better soon. I have been wondering where you'd been lately. I seemed to miss this thread earlier.

You're so lovely, just take each day as it comes. It's great you've seen the doc who sounds so supportive.

Big hugs xxx
 
Thanks Sunshine, you always have a kind supportive word :) x
 
Hey Liz, I'm not around much lately but I just wanted to say that I think it's an amazing achievement on your part that you were able to tell it was bad timing for reintroducing food. It suggests strength and commitment and you should be proud of yourself. The day will come when you'll be ready hon, no doubt about it!
 
Thanks Miss Ama :) for your post here and last time I posted about depression x
 
Sorry to hear you are not feeling too great but glad you can get the support you need from your Dr. Take care of you x
 
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