One thing doing yoga has taught me - along with all the wise bods on this forum - is that you have to do things when you're ready and follow your own path. I know it sounds wanky, but it's true. It sounds as if now is not your time for dieting and all you're doing is beating yourself up. Me and probably loads others on here have done the same. I've done it for 30 years. Can you imagine, 30 years on a diet . . .
Write down all the reasons why you want to follow the plan and all the reasons why you don't. I bet there's only one "don't" and that's that you'll get to eat whatever you want whenever you want. And is that really a reason for ignoring all the good things you'll gain from following the plan?
Also, work out why/when you're sabotaging yourself. It is a certain way you feel? Or a particular time of the day (see 6pm, I'm nibble central)? Then, if you really want to follow the plan, work out strategies to fight it. I make sure I have yoghurt and fruit handy. "Naughty" fruit like frozen grapes when I can!
But I have no doubts that you can do this and you can overcome this. You're already 9lbs lighter than you were and your BMI is getting healthier and healthier. Now you just need to believe you can do it - and you know you can!!!!!
xx