Falling Out

Hi Everyone
Just need to get this off my chest as a way of accountability before I do anything daft!

I have just had an almight row with my young niece of 24- basically told her I dont want anything to do with her anymore...a very long story and it sounds really horrible, but she has been using me and wiping me clean of money. So innocent, but yet so devious and I got caught out.

Worst of all, I just paid for her to go to Uganda with my friends, who paid for her accommodation, etc..and they have been taken in too!

It has spilled over into me ranting at my husband and crying and he has got annoyed at me too!

So, this is the time when I would reach for the chocolate and just hurt myself.
I WONT DO IT! I REFUSE TO.....but I am feeling very vulnerable right now and just needed to tell someone.

I am sure it will work out ok in the end but right now I could cry buckets; not so good when you are in work....feel rather lonely too.

Anyway, will shut up now and will keep you posted later on as to how I am feeling.

here is a big hug, at least you found out now, just try and keep occupied. xx

Thanks Joy

I will do...just need to start doing some work now!

<<hugs>> Sorry to hear that you are having a bad time of it. But at least you know now, and will not be fooled no longer. Well done on recognising the urge for chocs and not following threw. I know it is much help at the minute but you are learning to deal with issues without food. This will help to keep you thin in the future. You are strong and can deal with this. Take care and good luck.

Oh Wow... poor you! At least you found out? Keep yourself busy at work- do the jobs you've been putting off, and let your anger keep you focused? I find when I'm angry I lose my appetite! Wierd eh?

Hi Scotsmist,:hug99:
Oh lovey, I feel so sorry for you. It's not nice to be taken in by someone, especially someone in your family who you have loved. Sorry you fell out with your husband, we hurt the ones we love, isn't it very true. But it is all repairable, you know that, you were vulnerable and upset, he knows that, tonight will be different.
Look at it this way, will eating reverse what happened? I don't think so, nor do you. You have come so far on this that you will not let this stop you. You are always supportive of others you need a bit of support now, that's all.
Please let us know how you are getting on today and be nice to yourself, by the sounds of it you have done nothing wrong except being a loving supportive aunt.
Wishing you all the best today.
Take care.
Doirin

Oh you poor thing!!!
24 years old and taking handouts like that?!? That's NOT on, i haven't taken a penny or even lived under my parents roofs since i was 17 after my exams, please don't fall back in that trap she needs to learn to look after herself.

You've obviously got a really kind nature, don't allow it to effect you negitivly

xxxx

{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}

Unfortunately we cant choose family. But you can choose friends and support buddies and we are here to listen and give you virtual hugs.

Hi Aoife
Thanks - Yes, wont be fooled so easily, but unfortunately it is my nature to be nice.....and always try and see the good in people. Will I ever learn! Food has always played such a big part in my emotions, and today has been a huge test to my re-education..which so far is ok (12:22), so doing well.

Hi Irishmum
Not done any work yet, but I am here till 7pm tonight, so will catch up.

Hi Doirin
My wee hubby rang me apologising and saying he needs to be there for me. He is so loving but I think he just got exasperated by me because I woulnd be positive. He is the shrewd one among us and always so sensible...me with my heart and him with his head. He has cheered me up and at least I have found out sooner rather than later....a bit out of pocket, but that I can live with...it is my emotions I need to think more about.

Again, thanks for your kind words...much appreciated.

Hi Daisy
Funnily enough, I was just saying that to my husband. She needs to start taking a good look at herself. She is a very pretty, innocent looking girl, and everyone is taken in by her! Even her aunt She almost set me again my own sister (her mother)....so, really devious. I am glad I am rid, although it is still hurting...yes, you cant chose your family but the stupid thing is she has never bothered with me until around 2 months ago when she split from her b/f who she was living with...mmm.....got more to say on that, but I wont..

Hi Thereas
SO TRUE! You have all rallied round me and for that I am truely thankful. I knew I could vent off my frustration and not be knocked down for it

So, I am doing ok....still feeling a little shaky which I will do for a few days as things start to subside. but, I am still on shakes and not wobbled !!!

THANKS EVERYONE!!!!!!

Oh Mrs! thats not an ideal situation! Muchos virtual hugs from a newbie! Well done for sticking to the shakes!

take care xx

((((((HUGS )))))) sorry to hear you have a bad time of it it will blow over soon and you will be all the better off now that you have caught her out hope all works out get some time out and go for a walk with a bottle of water well done for not giving in to thye chocs you are a strong woman and are not alone as we are all on the other end of the pc for you take care x

Thanks Kate!! I am having my shake now, so another REAL HURDLE was dealt this morning, as my usual is to scoff!!! Oh, maybe I am changing after all.....

KateR said:

Oh Mrs! thats not an ideal situation! Muchos virtual hugs from a newbie! Well done for sticking to the shakes!

take care xx

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Many thanks Jonsey
I do feel happy that I didnt reach for the chocs. Would have been so easy and why should I give her the satisfaction of making me feel ten times worse. I am still realing frm the whole experience, but I am trying to put it into perspective and I know in a few days time I will be ok.

jonsey78 said:

((((((HUGS )))))) sorry to hear you have a bad time of it it will blow over soon and you will be all the better off now that you have caught her out hope all works out get some time out and go for a walk with a bottle of water well done for not giving in to thye chocs you are a strong woman and are not alone as we are all on the other end of the pc for you take care x

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(((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))

Huge huge huge group hug from everyone.

Hope your ok Chicken!!!!

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Caught it,,,thanks Lotus!

Lotus2009 said:

(((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))

Huge huge huge group hug from everyone.

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Hi Chelly
The whole situation is still ringing in my ears and I am the type of person that takes things quite badly and sensitively....so, I know it will take a while to get over this.

But, being positive, I havent cheated...I didnt have the urge to, I was just so frightened as my usual pattern was to each choc and everything else in site to harm myself....THANKFULLY, I have stayed true to LT (my new best friend).

I have had to make some very strong decisions today and some very embarrasing emails to some people regarding the situation, but I will get over it.

Thanks for your concern. The support on here today has been exceptional, and I dont know what I would have done without you all to be honest....it has really kept me going. Feel like a kid and part of a gang!!!!!

Hope you are having a good day!

ChellyWellyBoot said:

Hope your ok Chicken!!!!

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Hi Scotsmist. Dont let the little rip win by throwing you off your path . Thinking of you. family rows are painfull but she is the loser here ,she has lost a caring wonderfull aunt .:grouphugg:

You are dead right! Like my husband said,,,she never bothered with us until about 2-3 months ago! Where was she all this time......she obviously sussed I was a bit of a walk over and well, got caught hook line and sinker.

I wont allow her to mess up my good works...no, no, no!! It has made me ever more determined.

I even said to my husband today as he came to my office...that I was going to harden up, but he rightly said, I cant, because it is me and I am lovely so, not to change my character....just learn from the experience..so, that is what i am going to do.

Thanks again Mich!

Michillinwoman said:

Hi Scotsmist. Dont let the little rip win by throwing you off your path . Thinking of you. family rows are painfull but she is the loser here ,she has lost a caring wonderfull aunt .:grouphugg:

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Sorry to hear that, iv been taken a mug in the past albeit not family but still

Hope your ok and stay strong everyones here to support ya xxx