Confusion and support

Ok, so i'm on slimming world and much much happier than on atkins. But have a small problem, I am a size 14/16 and not unhappy but would like to be a 12/14, or a healthy BMI as weight has never meant much to me, it's more about being happy and healthy. However here's the problem, My lovely OH eats loads, snacks on crisps and chips and chocolate all day and has a serious addiction to all things bread related. He is 6'3" weighs about 9st. Under weight. I know he eats properly, as that is partly why i am the size i am but how the hell do i put weight on him, while i'm slimming. So far had Fajitas, i just had the meat and veg with salad, he had the lot. Burger for me, no bun or anything and salad, he had 3 burgers and buns and chips, Last night was omlette, which was quite easy, but other than the usual loads of mince or loads of pasta bolognase, any ideas to stop him losing weight, i'm at a loss. Going for a meal tonight, so bye bye diet, and really thinking should i just give up. Really trying but it's sooooo hard.

Oh and doesn't help that he went to buy shorts the other week and adults all looked stupid and in the end brought a pair for 11-12yrs.

I take it you are trying to do a similar diet so that you don't have to cook individual meals. Well most people would say to eat junk to gain weight, but that isn't very healthy! Now I'm no expert in this field but these are some idea I got from a medical website;

Recommended Ways to Gain Weight​

• Have meals with the right balance of proteins, carbohydrates, and the right kinds of fat (such as unsaturated and monounsaturated fats, olive oil, canola oil, pistachios, almonds and walnuts). Heinemann suggests the following ratio: 60%-70% carbohydrates, 10%-15% protein, and a small amount of fat.
• Eat foods higher in calories, vitamins, and minerals, as opposed to higher in fat or sugar.
• Pack more nutritious calories in each serving. For example, you may add grated cooked eggs to mashed potatoes, ground chicken to soups and gravies, cheese in casseroles, eggs, and soups, and nonfat dried milk in soups, shakes, milk, and mashed potatoes.
• If you get too full too fast, try having more high-calorie foods or slices of foods as opposed to consuming the whole thing (raisins versus grapes, granola and Grape Nuts versus corn flakes, mango slices versus the whole mango).
• Limit drinking beverages to a half-hour before and after a meal.
• Drink mixed juices (apple/berry, peach/orange/banana as opposed to one juice beverages) for a higher calorie intake.
• Try a small amount of alcohol (4 ounces of wine, 6 ounces of beer, or a half-ounce of liquor with juice) before a meal, as it could stimulate appetite. Moore warns, however, that this recommendation must be cleared with your doctor, especially if you are on any medication. Too much alcohol can be detrimental to health, and could lessen your resolve for eating healthy.
• With moderation, you may add in good fat sources to meals such as nuts, avocado, olives, and fatty fish (salmon and mackerel).
• Snack in between meals. Nuts, dried fruits, and yogurt are good options, but it's also important to find nutritious foods that you will enjoy.
• Have a nutritious snack before bedtime, such as a peanut butter sandwich.

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Hope this helps xxx

Thanks squiddie, just feeling a little deflated, it's really hard having to balance the two things and not have to cook 2 meals every night, also i am terrible and won't cook for just myself.

You could give him snacks too. Nuts are good high calories but healthy fats (i don't mean salted peanut but "real" nuts). Does he do alot of exercise or have a really active job? You try and get him to do some weights work as, proportional to space, muscle weighs more than fat and this would increase his weight. Increase his portion sizes, which you seem to be doing anyway, but it might just be that's his natural weight and size and there's nothing you can do to bulk him up. Just give him "your" food and let him up the other stuff! Also your BMI is really close to the healthy range anyway so maybe upping your exercise will help you feel healthier?

That is what is most annoying about him. Doesn't exercise and the idea of dried fruit/nuts/seeds etc is like trying to get him to drink acid. Doesn't have an active job, sits all day at a computer and i exercise, try to do a little bit every day and that's in addition to a 20 minute walk each way to and from work, he drives, what is it with people like that, and why did i get stuck with him, i SNIFF a cream cake and put on, he eats the whole bloody cake shop and doesn't gain an ounce. Me Jealous? Never! But seriously he trys to help and encourage me and keep me on track which is nice but still annoying as he'll be stuffing a bag of kettle chips at the same time (My favorites!)

Sorry this is turning into a rant it's just really hard.

I can imagine how hard it is, I'm not in the same situation as such my best friend is the same. It could just boil down to the fact he has a really high motabolism! I know how hard is it when you are trying so so hard to shift extra pounds when someone else has it so easy, feels like life has delt you a crap hand. All I can say is try and stay focused and really try and keep on track. ((hugs))

Natt xxx